When God’s Plan Doesn’t Look Like Yours

What if the life that didn’t go according to your plan is still very much in God’s hands? The job you didn’t get. The relationship that didn’t work out. The dream that changed. The timing that makes no sense. Sometimes we’re left wondering, God, what are You doing here?

In this episode of Imagine Yourself Podcast, Sandy and Lanée get personal about disappointment, unexpected detours, and what it really looks like to trust God when life takes a turn you never planned for.

We see the piece of the story we’re living right now. God sees the whole picture. So, what do we do when we can’t see what He sees and may never get all the answers? That’s the conversation we’re having! Listen and it just might change the way you look at the parts of your own story that haven’t gone according to "plan".

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 "Imagine Yourself" is hosted by Lanée Blaise and Sandy Kovach—two dynamic voices with a passion for inspiring and uplifting others. Lanée, a TV writer, producer, motivational speaker, and podcaster, brings powerful storytelling and insight. Sandy, a radio personality, voiceover artist, and podcaster, delivers warmth and wisdom with every conversation. Broadcasting from the Detroit Metro area, they welcome guests from around the world to share valuable perspectives on health, career growth, faith, and personal transformation. Tune in and imagine the possibilities for your life!

Transcript

Lanée Blaise [00:00:00 - 00:00:27]

Hello, everyone. This is Lanee here with Sandy, welcoming you again to Imagine Yourself Podcast. We hope that you continue to support our podcast by subscribing, checking us out on social media, all the good things. But most importantly, of course, we want to try to pour into ourselves. And so today, we're going to build up more on our last episode that we had that was called, Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think?

Sandy Kovach [00:00:27 - 00:00:28]

And everyone said yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:00:29 - 00:01:18]

Yeah, everyone said yes, except like, it depends on who you're talking about. From last time, we did try to learn, stop letting other people define your worth and your identity. But this one is more about, let's stop letting life's disappointments define our story. Because we have just— oh my gosh, we realize sometimes things are simply out of our control. And we don't always get what we want, when we want, or how we want. And so, like, we are spending this episode digging into how do we kind of rectify that? How do we get a new perspective on the things or the people or whatever that we didn't get? So we're gonna, you know, we're gonna jump into it. We wanna let you know that you are not alone. You're not the only one thinking these kinds of things.

Lanée Blaise [00:01:18 - 00:01:33]

Sandy and I don't have it perfect. In fact, we have plenty of little stories we're gonna tell you about. I don't know, the ones that got away, the things that got away, stuff that affected our self-esteem, and like we didn't understand why God has this direction for our lives. All the stuff we're going to talk about.

Sandy Kovach [00:01:34 - 00:01:35]

You can't always get what you want, like that rolling stones song

Lanée Blaise [00:01:36 - 00:01:37]

I never got a pony when I was a little girl.

Sandy Kovach [00:01:37 - 00:01:38]

You never got a pony?

Lanée Blaise [00:01:38 - 00:01:40]

Yeah, never got that.

Sandy Kovach [00:01:40 - 00:02:02]

Yeah, I never, I never wanted a pony, but I could start naming a ton of things that I didn't get as a kid. But we won't— we're not even going to do that. We're not gonna— we're gonna go to our adulthood. Let's say we jump to our adulthood, because that's when the real disappointments set in. I think when we grow up, we forget that we didn't get the pony or anything. I don't know, maybe we don't. Apparently, Lynnae's still thinking about it.

Lanée Blaise [00:02:02 - 00:02:03]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:02:03 - 00:02:36]

But let's think about jobs we didn't get, maybe a relationship we didn't get, maybe opportunities we wanted, a dream house, we wanted this, we wanted that. So we're gonna run kind of through the gamut of all the different things and sort of try to place ourselves in where we can trust God with where we are in life. And we're not going to sit here and say, well, everything happens for a reason, because that's a little too cliché, right? So, that gets on people's nerves. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:02:36 - 00:02:42]

It just gets on people's nerves. They're like, I don't want to hear that everything happens for a reason. Well, what was the reason?

Sandy Kovach [00:02:42 - 00:03:16]

Yeah. Okay. So, what reason? Let's start with, sometimes things have nothing to do with you, as you kind of indicated in the beginning, but yet they can greatly affect you. And you kind of have to step outside a little bit, as in, I'm a voiceover person. I'm going to use this as an example. What I do or have done for many years is go to auditions, not as often anymore. More now auditions are kind of online, but it's really the same idea.

Lanée Blaise [00:03:16 - 00:03:16]

Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:03:19 - 00:03:47]

And this script, you're like, oh, I can totally act like this person. It describes as a middle-aged woman in the grocery store looking at apples, and I could totally relate to this. So you get the script and you read it, and you never hear back anything. You don't hear boop. That's usually how you know you didn't get the job. Or sometimes you're even invited to a second audition, and you think, oh well, now I got it. And then— your agent says, you didn't get the job. And you're— you never know why.

Sandy Kovach [00:03:48 - 00:04:15]

But as it turns out, it didn't mean that you sucked at the audition. It just meant they found a better middle-aged woman looking at apples in the store that fit their thought process of what that advertiser wanted to come across with a little bit better. Maybe my voice was a little too high-pitched or low-pitched, or the pacing was off or something like that. And I think, Lynnae, in your line of work, you can It's kind of looking at it from the other side.

Lanée Blaise [00:04:15 - 00:04:46]

Oh, yeah. I sit on the opposite side because you're right. And just before we go on to me being on the other side, I must say, I love it every time my kids and I are at Rite Aid or at the movie theaters or whatever. And we're like, oh my gosh, that's Sandy's voice. And it literally is your voice coming through over the speaker or on the screen or whatever, advertising for, for something great. So it also makes me think like, Maybe there's other people who are like, goodness, I could have gotten that, but it was meant for Sandy. So I just like to say that part.

Sandy Kovach [00:04:46 - 00:04:47]

Because they needed to hear it.

Lanée Blaise [00:04:47 - 00:05:25]

Yes, Lanee and her kids needed to hear it. Because sometimes my kids will be like, is that Sandy Kovach? And I'm like, oh yeah. So I'm just saying, you know, there's, I guess, once again, the thing we weren't going to say, there's a reason for everything. And that was the reason. But no, I often sit on the other side where an actor, actress has a script. Something that we, my producing partner and I are producing. And the people will, this is still usually on Zoom also, but they will go ahead and read for it. And okay, let's be honest, there's sometimes where someone just totally does not hit the mark at all.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:25 - 00:05:58]

So that's just a no. Okay, I get that part. But there's also those times when the person did a wonderful job, like a fantastic job, but they were not the person that we needed. And to your point, maybe I'll do a better job of explaining why, but like, Sandy, it could be as simple as they did a great job, they sounded great, the actor was wonderful, but like we needed an actor who's gonna have like big ears 'cause that's gonna make some big plot change. Something about how he grew up and he had big ears and made him feel a certain kind of way. And this guy just has like kind of medium ears. I don't know. He'll never know.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:58 - 00:06:29]

He'll think like, why didn't I get it? And that goes back to why didn't I get it? Why didn't I get the thing that I prayed for? I know I did a good job. Why not? And sometimes it has nothing to do with your skill level. We've got to remember we're all God's children. We're all out here doing different things. And some things are really going to be meant for us and other things aren't. And the hard part is when we don't know why not. And we might never know on this side of heaven. It just kind of is what it is.

Lanée Blaise [00:06:29 - 00:07:08]

Even as a writer too, I have to admit, I get to write scripts and I get to know what's going to happen to the characters and their whole arcs and when the momentum is going to happen, when the catharsis is going to happen. But, you know, the poor person who's subject to being the character, they don't know what's going to happen all the way through the end. They don't see the whole picture, but I do. And that's how I— like, I'm not God, but God sees that. We're not characters, but God sees us. He sees the whole story. He sees how it affects all the other people in your story or in the world. And there are ups and downs and pivots, things that didn't go the way we thought.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:08 - 00:07:14]

That's why we say, like, you know, our life story, our life is a complete story at the end of the day.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:14 - 00:07:14]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:14 - 00:07:47]

Relationships too, Sandy, especially like romantic relationships. I know there are so many people who wonder about the one that got away, the guy that they liked, he didn't feel the same way about, or a divorce happened. You know, maybe you were married and relationship didn't make it. I do look to my mom. a lot on this. I respect her and love her so much. She is the most wonderful lady. And she had some of the most painful relationships and divorce situations, you know, with my dad, my stepdad.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:48 - 00:07:55]

She had sat and wondered not only why didn't it work out, but she said, is there something wrong with me? You know, like, why?

Sandy Kovach [00:07:55 - 00:07:55]

Mm-hmm.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:55 - 00:08:34]

And of all the people, God sent her the person who could answer her the most genuinely and kindly when she needed it the most. This was after she and my stepfather divorced. She was talking about, I guess, how I was going to visit my dad for Christmas or whatever, logistics. And she went ahead and she just said that she's like, is there just something wrong with me? I don't choose the right people. I don't do the right things. I don't have relationships that work out. And he, with the most patient kindness and genuineness said, no, it is not you at all. It's us.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:34 - 00:09:24]

Not necessarily that it's not you, it's me thing. But it's more like we, you know, my dad was young when they got married. So, you know, like, for whatever flaws he had, or the guys had in this case, it was not her. And he didn't want her to live her life thinking, taking any of the blame or any of that. And it's just, sometimes we have to go to God and just say, God, Yeah. With all the most sincerity and vulnerability, what's happening? Why not? Why not me here? Why this? And if we're looking for some of the ways that God blessed us, instead of the ways that God didn't bless us, we might start finding some beautiful gems. Because again, my mom is like, Lané, I would do it all over again, because I got you. And I got your sisters, Rhonda and Casey.

Sandy Kovach [00:09:24 - 00:09:24]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:25 - 00:09:37]

And that's the win. That's the crown. That's the benefit or the jewel there. I love her for that because there's a lot of people that have these situations and they do have something beautiful or someone beautiful to take away from it.

Sandy Kovach [00:09:38 - 00:10:32]

That is so touching. And thinking about your mom, I, I can see where she's coming from too, as someone who's divorced. And even though I'm remarried, at the time, certainly it was not a good thing. But I think I would say that I don't regret it either because I got an amazing son out of it. And my ex-husband would say the same thing, no doubt. But flipping back a little bit, sort of circling back to what we were talking about earlier with not getting the voiceover jobs or the acting jobs, that's along the same lines of things not working out, but obviously not as serious as a broken relationship can be. Because what I want to talk about is the resilience that you can build when you go through enough of these situations. I mean, now, by the time I've done it for so many years, I don't get a job.

Sandy Kovach [00:10:32 - 00:10:40]

I don't really— I mean, I am disappointed, but I don't question myself the way I used to. I used to do the same thing your mom did, only on a much different level.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:40 - 00:10:49]

But no, it's the same similar thread. The relationships and the job, all of these things have that common Part of the pain, the questioning of self.

Sandy Kovach [00:10:49 - 00:10:49]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:49 - 00:10:50]

Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:10:50 - 00:11:00]

And you could, you could get really serious about questioning, am I doing the right thing? Do I suck? Maybe I should go do something else for a living or something. Some people might, or I did at that point.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:00 - 00:11:00]

I don't know.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:01 - 00:11:08]

But all I can say is what I have learned is that they just needed somebody with big ears. You know, I'm just gonna use your example.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:09 - 00:11:14]

They were looking for someone with big, or maybe they were looking in your case for someone with the squeaky voice.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:14 - 00:11:15]

Yeah, they might have. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:15 - 00:11:24]

Like a naturally squeaky voice, and they would know it when they heard it, and it would make sense when the product is finished, you know, when the project is finished.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:25 - 00:11:25]

Right.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:25 - 00:11:51]

But you wouldn't have known it. And you said too, like, you actually built resilience because another one too, all the years that you worked in radio, you said sometimes there were days where the whole radio format up and changed. So, yeah, yeah, you know, and you had to Why? Why is this happening now? Like, you had to pivot, you had to be resilient, and you had to, like, find some kind of way to reconcile it in your brain.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:52 - 00:12:12]

Yeah, I've had a radio format change and stay at the station. I've had— what mostly happens also is radio formats change and getting laid off, and that's a whole different issue. And I think anybody that's ever been laid off from any job can go through this too. I mean, I was laid off in 2009 in the middle of the recession.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:12 - 00:12:12]

Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:12 - 00:12:26]

And there was a moment there where neither my husband and I had work. I mean, it didn't last long, but yeah. What do you do with that? It's like you take for granted that you're gonna have a job and jobs are just here and then the jobs are not here.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:26 - 00:12:54]

Yes. And that's been happening a lot in this country. Even right now, there are so many people that I know and care about who have fairly recently, or I don't even wanna say recently, but some who have lost their jobs and positions due to layoffs, due to AI, due to all different sorts of things. And they're highly qualified people and they'd never been through such a drought. Some who have been looking for work for over 16 months.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:54 - 00:12:54]

Wow.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:54 - 00:13:16]

And just consistently. And part of it, I think, is the way HR departments sometimes don't use people. They use AI to screen through it. I think they miss some valuable folks that way. And but the people that, that I have spoken with, at the end of the day, they still trust God for their provision. They still love God. They still pray. They still try.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:17 - 00:13:25]

They haven't given up, but they realize, dang, this is hard. This is not what I expected, not what I wanted at all.

Sandy Kovach [00:13:25 - 00:13:25]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:26 - 00:13:28]

And yet they, they still cling to God.

Sandy Kovach [00:13:28 - 00:13:42]

So how do we do that if we're in the middle of the situation? One thing I remember doing Is, you know, reading books in the middle of the recession about other people that lost their jobs, kind of so I could find camaraderie.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:42 - 00:13:43]

Right.

Sandy Kovach [00:13:43 - 00:14:01]

I mean, yeah. I mean, do you find that from your friends that are in that position? I mean, what are their tactics other than I know they're out there beating down people's emails and whatever it is you have to do, get through AI and figure out how to do that, which is something we never had to deal with back in the day.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:01 - 00:14:26]

There's sometimes you end up, like in one situation, a friend of mine, you end up relying on someone that you didn't expect. And in this case, it's her son. Her son is now grown. And he has been thriving in his position. And he's like, Mom, I got you. We got this. We will get through this.

Sandy Kovach [00:14:26 - 00:14:26]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:27 - 00:15:17]

on me, the person who took care of him his whole life, and raised him so magnificently that now he is the temporary breadwinner of the family. And it just becomes a, I would say, collaborative effort, but also just a, you know, it's like she's looking at God like, okay, this is a blessing, but it's just so weird. You know? It's just so weird, but it has its beauty also. She is taking time to not just develop the skills in her desired field, but in some other fields also. That's the reason I know her so well. She's also creative. So she is writing more scripts because before her, her job was more, you know, not in that sector at all, not in the media sector at all, entertainment sector. So she's taking that time to do that.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:18 - 00:15:35]

She is a boss now at interviews in general, as far as, you know, she goes into every job interview. She has to sometimes muster it up, but with that same hope, and optimism, and vibrance that shows. Because people can feel it and see it when you've lost your mojo.

Sandy Kovach [00:15:36 - 00:15:36]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:36 - 00:16:05]

It comes across, even through Zoom, or in person, or whatever. And she does not want to give that up. And then she goes back to— this is another one that sometimes people get frustrated, but it is true— timing. God's timing. And, you know, the part about— we talked about, like, you know, everything happens for a reason. She has already gone ahead. And just understood, I don't think I am going to understand the reason behind this. I don't necessarily believe that I'm going to understand what the reason is.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:05 - 00:16:41]

But I'm also realizing I don't have to understand the reason. I just have to understand, just trust God, keep trusting God, it will bring forth results. Trusting God, knowing that you're God's child really does bring results. So yeah, the timing part. It's just another one that many of us have found ourselves being affected by. The world's timing is not always our timing. God's timing is not always our timing. And I think people in our society, we're pretty much used to, you know, pull yourself up and make it work and push through and do all this.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:41 - 00:16:48]

And sometimes that's not the advice that you need for the particular moment, especially when it's things that you can't control.

Sandy Kovach [00:16:49 - 00:17:17]

Timing can affect all kinds of different things in your life. Like talking about getting over disappointments. Some people have like a dream house or a dream life, or, you know, we don't say the white picket fence anymore 'cause people don't really want the white picket fence necessarily. But I always wanted to have, you know, a nice house. And I had a kind of a vision of what that might be. And when I got divorced, I moved into a condo. 'Cause it was just me and my son. And, you know, not all the time.

Sandy Kovach [00:17:17 - 00:17:42]

He spent time with his dad, obviously, as well. And then, you know, he was getting a little older and I thought, maybe I need a yard. Maybe now this is the time for a house. So I put it on the market. The housing market was bad for whatever reason. I got remarried and I thought, oh, well, surely now is the time to get a house. And again, we actually— I think the first time I didn't even put it on the market. It was just bad timing.

Sandy Kovach [00:17:42 - 00:17:55]

This time we put it on the market. We were about to put the for sale sign out and we were just like, no, because for what we were going to get, how much we would have to fix it up. And it just— numbers didn't crunch, you know?

Lanée Blaise [00:17:55 - 00:17:55]

Oh yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:17:55 - 00:18:22]

So we were like, you know what? Let's just start fixing this place up. It's a nice neighborhood. Joe's getting older and now he's grown. So, so the problem is my husband— it's actually not a problem because my husband's very handy and he likes to fix things himself. We don't hire people. He just does. He usually has like one of his friends help him, or sometimes his dad will come over and help. And he's redone 2 bathrooms.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:22 - 00:18:24]

He did my studio.

Lanée Blaise [00:18:25 - 00:18:26]

Which looks lovely, by the way.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:26 - 00:18:39]

Thank you. But by the time he gets to the last thing, because we're still on the upstairs, he still has much to do before he gets to the kitchen. I'm almost sure that I won't be alive anymore just because—

Lanée Blaise [00:18:40 - 00:18:41]

You will!

Sandy Kovach [00:18:42 - 00:18:55]

You will! But it's okay. The point is, if I have to live with a 1978 kitchen for the rest of my life, fine. You know, it'll remind me of drinking hose water in the '70s. I don't know.

Lanée Blaise [00:18:56 - 00:19:19]

Gosh, yeah, it puts you back to your— no, I think there's like 2 things going on here as far as, first of all, you are finding joy in the parts of your home that have been, you know, revitalized and renovated. But you also see potential for other areas.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:19 - 00:19:20]

See potential?

Lanée Blaise [00:19:20 - 00:19:59]

I see potential in you. There's another one during hiring process. But, you know, but also, I feel like you have an acceptance of whichever way God decides to make it happen. And you have love and appreciation for however your husband is able to maneuver And which things he gets to and when he gets to them. And I feel like you have joy in your home overall, regardless. And that you were like, you know, that whole dream house situation, if it's not a single standing house, you're like, this is, this is my home. This is our house. This is, this is where it's at.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:59 - 00:20:11]

I'm proud that my husband can work hard and do it. And I mean, but also at the same time, it would be easier if we would just 'Cause I mean, he works a regular job, you know, he's an engineer.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:11 - 00:20:12]

Works long hours too.

Sandy Kovach [00:20:12 - 00:20:28]

Yeah, and he works, he doesn't work next door. He's back in the office most days. And I just, you know, and he's in his, what, he's in his middle 50s. And you know, it's not like, I mean, that's not super old, but it's not super young. So.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:28 - 00:20:32]

No, uh-uh, it's nope. He's still, he's still got, there's still juice left in this project.

Sandy Kovach [00:20:32 - 00:20:33]

Oh, there's plenty of juice.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:33 - 00:20:34]

Yeah, yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:20:34 - 00:20:50]

Yeah, but I worry about him. I never wanna put pressure on him. pressure on him to finish something or do something because he's got a lot on his plate. And so what would you do? Would you let him go at his pace or would you want to try to talk him into hiring someone or?

Lanée Blaise [00:20:50 - 00:21:19]

For just the kitchen maybe, and just see what he thinks and see what he thinks about with the timing and what he thinks about the timeline of that too, what that could look like and that he could still finish the upstairs himself, but maybe just the kitchen. And if he Vetoes it heavily, at least he'll know that you, you know what I mean? So that you kind of have this on your mind. You know what I'm saying? I don't want him to not know and everybody, you know, later be like, well, I didn't know you were like really, really wanted to get it done quickly, but have him listen to this episode.

Sandy Kovach [00:21:19 - 00:21:22]

Yeah. Or maybe we edit this out and he never knows. I don't know.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:23 - 00:22:01]

I don't know. I don't, I just know the key part is timing and trust. and love and still finding joy in the midst of it all. Because timing, a lot of us too, there's so many things that have just done a doozy and that maybe you can still find some positive things. I know this is career again, though, too. But I had— gosh, Sandy, back in 2022, I was way up high, just soaring. I was pitching my television projects to Disney. I had written a commissioned screenplay to make into a thriller movie.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:01 - 00:22:30]

I had all these great things going on. And it was like, this is it. I finally made it. And then, boom, Disney laid off thousands of their entertainment and media workers. And the industry was shaken because the writers had a strike to protect writers from having AI just take over with— put copyright, smush it to the ground. We didn't want any of that to happen. Then there was a director strike. There was the SAG actors strike.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:30 - 00:22:44]

And Everything was put at a standstill and hasn't completely recovered yet now. And I— that's the one where you look at God and you say, God, what is happening here?

Sandy Kovach [00:22:44 - 00:22:44]

Every—

Lanée Blaise [00:22:44 - 00:23:11]

that's sometimes the maybe the hardest one to rectify when things are going in an up trajectory. And then all of a sudden, it starts barreling downwards. And you're like, what in the world is happening here? And with timing again, all that forced me to use the skills that I had, use the networking that I had, pivot. And now I'm a producer, not just a writer.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:11 - 00:23:11]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:23:11 - 00:23:52]

I was like, okay, I can't just rely on writing. I have to be able to produce my own work. And now I've got the Rekindled for Christmas rom-com Christmas movie is out on Amazon. I've got Blended. That was something we wanted as a show, but now we're going to have it as a feature film that we should be filming end of this year or early next year. Projects that were not on my radar, but God saw fit to allow to happen. If I say 2022, and now it's only like a few years later, the waiting time in the scheme of my whole life wasn't really all that bad. The bad part was not knowing when things would open back up again.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:53 - 00:24:02]

Isn't that the truth, though? You're in the middle of something. It's just like when we were in the middle of the pandemic. It's like, does it feel like it's gonna be like this for frickin' ever? You know? Yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:24:02 - 00:24:19]

We don't know. And then now we look back and we're like, it lasted— the hard, hard parts lasted over a year. And there's still some repercussions, obviously. But it was looking really, really doom and gloom. And it didn't have that effect.

Sandy Kovach [00:24:20 - 00:24:44]

Yeah, or when you lose a job and you don't know, or when you get a divorce, or when all these things can happen, or people that are trying to have a child. We just had a baby dedicated at our church. This couple, they had the whole church praying for them. It was just like it was taking a long, long time. The pastor was practically in tears when he dedicated the baby because it was such a miracle.

Lanée Blaise [00:24:45 - 00:24:45]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:24:46 - 00:25:12]

Maybe that was like to show God's hand in this. I don't know why it got held up so long or why they— but a lot of people have issues, whether they're trying to have children, want to get married, want to be grandparents, whatever the case may be. God's plans are not our plans. And like you were saying earlier, we only see a little bit of the story. And sometimes we just get stuck in that moment.

Lanée Blaise [00:25:12 - 00:25:12]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:25:13 - 00:25:31]

Tomorrow, everything could change, but all I am doing is stuck in how I'm feeling right now. How do we get past these moments? And I guess the only thing I can come up with is just that trust in God. I don't know how you do it without it. Didn't you say you were arguing with God about your plan at some point?

Lanée Blaise [00:25:31 - 00:26:13]

So, I wasn't arguing, I was rationalizing. I was like, and I definitely have done this several times. So, What I sometimes do is I will sit and rationalize with God about why my idea is perfect. And it's so much better than what's actually happening right now. There's efficiency, there'll be a win-win for all involved. The current situation the way it is is not ideal. But all God has to do is A, B, and C. And then Everybody is winning and not even just happy, but like, super simple, clean, effective, all that stuff.

Lanée Blaise [00:26:14 - 00:27:19]

And so, God has not ever answered me back on these debates or debated me back. Very one-sided debates here. I just sometimes need to just like, sit my little self down and help myself understand That I need to have the respect and the trust in God to sit in the stillness of God, believe that there are good, blessed things happening, that even though I can't see it right now, and even though my eyes are focused on the things that are not going well, that overall, there is work being done. God is orchestrating many things behind the scenes, things that we can't necessarily see. Sometimes too, I don't know if this is the best. I don't know if this is necessarily— this is a scripture that I really love. But you have to be careful with it. Because sometimes when people are hurting in their worst, deepest, darkest pains, you got to be real careful about which scriptures you put over them.

Lanée Blaise [00:27:20 - 00:28:18]

But in some of the more resilient times, I guess, for folks, you can say that— this is 2 Corinthians 1:4. God is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of trouble through the comfort that we ourselves receive from God. And in this case, when I say comfort, it's the comfort when you do have the why me, or why not me, or why this, or why did they get it and I didn't, and why, why, why, you know. Comforting in those situations, along with when we're grieving, when we're disappointed, when we're hurt, when we are sick, when we are troubled. We have this comfort. We're meant to comfort others in a gentle way. Like I said, we don't want to ever shove something down your throat when you're— let me sit in this grief for a minute, and that's fine. But there's so many things happening behind the scenes that we don't know.

Sandy Kovach [00:28:18 - 00:28:19]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:28:19 - 00:28:30]

That God knows. And there's so many things could be right around the corner. A good thing could be right around the corner. And we might think, well, this is just my fate forever. And that's not true.

Sandy Kovach [00:28:31 - 00:29:09]

Yeah, there are some people who are just in much worse situations than what we described. You know, they, they might be listening to this and say, that's nothing. You know what happened to me, and then fill in the blank. You can't say to someone like that, everything just happens for a reason. That just sounds cliché and God has a plan and he will hopefully bring resolution to pass, but when something really bad happens to someone, I think it's just our job to be there to comfort them and if we have been in a similar situation, going back to the Scripture—

Lanée Blaise [00:29:09 - 00:29:10]

Mm-hmm.

Sandy Kovach [00:29:11 - 00:29:21]

Just say, well, here's what happened to me. I mean, not like right away. Not like someone says, you know, yeah, I just lost my job. Well, when I lost my job, here's what I did. You know, it's just like—

Lanée Blaise [00:29:21 - 00:30:01]

But, but to your point, like, sometimes people do need to hear at the right timing a story that will lift them up. I'll give an example. This is a hard one though. But back in 2021, my stepmother, who I loved so much, just full of life all the time, We had just had a family reunion, and it was amazing. Like, it was in August of 2021. And she and my dad drove off with her, like, basically screaming out the car window, this was the best weekend ever! And we were like, yes, yes, yes! You know, we were happy. We had taken pictures. We had all of her children and grandchildren, and we were all together.

Sandy Kovach [00:30:01 - 00:30:01]

It was—

Lanée Blaise [00:30:02 - 00:30:21]

it was the most perfect weekend. And then she got home, went to bed, and woke up in the middle of the night and told my dad she felt terrible and that she had to go to the hospital type of terrible. So he took her to the hospital and she was on the spot diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Sandy Kovach [00:30:22 - 00:30:22]

Oh my God.

Lanée Blaise [00:30:22 - 00:30:46]

They're like, you are not going to make it. She was still optimistic and she was even asking the doctor, will I at least make it to my nephew's wedding. And she gave the date and the timeline. The doctor's like, you could buy a dress for it, but it's not looking good. And so, that began the timeline of her deteriorating.

Sandy Kovach [00:30:47 - 00:30:47]

Wow.

Lanée Blaise [00:30:47 - 00:31:01]

And in my mind, I do think about the fact that even before she was born, God knew the exact day and way that she was going to pass away. We didn't know that. We had just come off the best weekend ever, right?

Sandy Kovach [00:31:01 - 00:31:01]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:31:01 - 00:31:24]

I'll put it this way. The part that— here's the hope part. There's several hope parts. I remember that I had told my husband I had wanted to postpone that reunion and just give myself more time to prepare. And my husband's like, nope, we are having it the weekend we said. We are not having it one day later, whatever. I was like, okay, okay, okay, fine. I thank God that we had the time that we have.

Lanée Blaise [00:31:25 - 00:31:42]

All my siblings, my dad, will always remember that weekend and that joy. She didn't even know she was sick at all. She didn't know she had cancer at all. She didn't know any of this stuff. She got to fully enjoy it. God gave us that gift.

Sandy Kovach [00:31:42 - 00:31:42]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:31:43 - 00:32:04]

Again, knowing that God already knew what day she was going to pass away, he allowed us to have this special time all together with everybody. And remember, this is years later now that I'm looking back. At the time, I was not seeing any of this hope or joy or anything. But now when I look back, I have gratitude for that.

Sandy Kovach [00:32:04 - 00:32:04]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:32:04 - 00:32:21]

That if we had to lose her then, and earlier than we would've wanted to, and unexpectedly, at least God gave the best most beautiful send-off and weekend possible before she got too sick to even be able to enjoy it.

Sandy Kovach [00:32:21 - 00:32:25]

Oh, yeah. Something that she could hold on to, probably.

Lanée Blaise [00:32:26 - 00:32:26]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:32:26 - 00:32:41]

And all of you could hold on to. Wow. That's— that one hits. I mean, that was like, wow. The fact that God does know the day and the hour. For all of us.

Lanée Blaise [00:32:41 - 00:32:47]

It's set. It is happening. That's going to happen whatever day it is. We don't know it, but it's happening.

Sandy Kovach [00:32:48 - 00:33:11]

And he knows every hair on our head. He's seen our life from the very beginning to the very end. And also, going back to something a little bit lighter, I was thinking about that. This is— you were talking about something earlier. When you don't get a certain job, or when you maybe the guy that you like dates somebody else, or, you know, just things like that that happen in life.

Lanée Blaise [00:33:12 - 00:33:12]

Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:33:12 - 00:33:54]

Maybe somebody else needed it more. Or in the case of the guy, you know, maybe he was perfect for that other person and they— God saw that. But I used to think of that sometimes when I wouldn't get a job. I would, I would say, well, whoever got it must have— if they weren't the perfect person, I mean, maybe they needed that more, whether it was for money, For self-confidence. God isn't cosmic Santa Claus who we, we ask, hey, give me as many voiceover jobs as you can, you know, because I wanna have money. Everybody wants and needs money to a certain extent. I mean, that cannot be our God or our idol, but people are obviously working to make a living.

Lanée Blaise [00:33:55 - 00:34:00]

Yeah, 'cause also too, God is not just my dad. my Father.

Sandy Kovach [00:34:01 - 00:34:01]

He's not— Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:34:02 - 00:34:36]

You know what I'm saying? Like, God is also— 'cause think about, let's say, Sandy, you have 10 kids. I know you don't. Don't wanna have 10 kids. But let's say you have 10 kids, and they're all different, and they're all doing different things. And you have one, I guess, in this case, I'll say, job. Somebody's gotta water this one flower, whatever. And it's the most beautiful flower in your garden. And you've gotta pick one of the kids The reason that you choose whichever child that you choose to do it, the other kids may not ever fully understand, but that was meant for that child to do.

Lanée Blaise [00:34:36 - 00:34:49]

It will replenish their spirit. It will bless them. It'll bless the flower. Some of the other kids, you know that they're going to have these other jobs that they're going to need to do that they didn't know they were going to have, but that's going to take up their time.

Sandy Kovach [00:34:50 - 00:34:50]

And it'll be—

Lanée Blaise [00:34:50 - 00:35:05]

Right. well spent doing the other things. We really, if we could just open our minds to the fact that there's so many reasons that things are happening that we don't know, and that God's other children do need blessings as well.

Sandy Kovach [00:35:05 - 00:35:07]

Yeah, it's not just about us, right?

Lanée Blaise [00:35:08 - 00:35:37]

Yes. And it makes us too, like, in this case, also sometimes it makes me think, like, if I am— not that I'm usually hiring, but I guess maybe casting for someone for a film, maybe they aren't going to get the role that they really wanted or the lead role. But I can usually find something. My producing partner, she's really good at this, Renell. She's like, oh, they're going to do such and such. They're going to do that. They're going to be great in that. And at first, the person's like, okay, no, thank you.

Lanée Blaise [00:35:37 - 00:35:45]

You could tell it's like a little bit half-hearted. But when you see the finished project, it's like, okay, they did it.

Sandy Kovach [00:35:46 - 00:35:49]

Do you see what I'm getting at? Yeah, there was a perfect thing that God had in mind for them.

Lanée Blaise [00:35:50 - 00:35:50]

Or—

Sandy Kovach [00:35:50 - 00:35:53]

we're now, but on a big scale.

Lanée Blaise [00:35:53 - 00:35:55]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:35:55 - 00:36:16]

In the big scale of life, of our story, of everyone's story, God has the perfect place for everyone. And like you said, none of us are gonna understand all of it until Jesus comes back and— or we're in heaven. I don't know how much God is gonna explain. Didn't your daughter Kayla say she wants God to explain things to her? Oh, she does.

Lanée Blaise [00:36:16 - 00:36:47]

She has a whole list. This list was so far back. It was back with, why did Justin Bieber change his hair? Haircut. Do you remember? Do you remember when that was like a big, huge thing? That is when she started her list. And she has now had a whole lot of other things. Why didn't this relationship work out? Why did this have to be so hard? Especially like med school. Why, why, why? And she has reconciled it by putting it on a list and allowing it to be something that she knows she can ask God on—

Sandy Kovach [00:36:47 - 00:36:47]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:36:47 - 00:36:49]

the other side of this life.

Sandy Kovach [00:36:49 - 00:36:51]

You think she's gonna remember that list when she gets to heaven?

Lanée Blaise [00:36:52 - 00:37:00]

Yes. 1,000% yes. I mean, she could rattle it off to you right now, Sandy. Yes. Yes. And when she's 80 or 90, yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:37:01 - 00:37:01]

Okay.

Lanée Blaise [00:37:01 - 00:37:36]

She'll add things to it. But yes. Each of us needs to find our own little nuanced way to make it balance out, make it be okay for us. Sometimes I'm like, I think the only way out is through. Sometimes, like, we're disappointed the way that life didn't go our way, but just keep going through. Keep pushing through and watch and see and look for God to drop something beautiful and unexpected on you right around the corner. When, you know, something didn't go your way and then something goes magically that you hadn't even asked for. So, I don't wanna say magically, I'll say divinely.

Sandy Kovach [00:37:36 - 00:37:37]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:37:37 - 00:38:01]

But, you know, nobody has this elusive fairytale life. We used to— do you remember back in the '80s and '90s? Everybody used to think like Michael Jackson, and Whitney Houston, and Elizabeth Taylor, and all these people had these amazing lives and were just super fantastic happy. And then now we see these documentaries and such. These folks were in probably more pain than us regular folks.

Sandy Kovach [00:38:01 - 00:38:02]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:38:02 - 00:38:35]

And so, it looked glossy on the outside, but other people are going through pain as well. And so, I want us to be mindful of not looking at her over there and see what she's doing and comparing it to ourselves, because God has her doing what she's doing. And we wish her well. We hope that she's not in pain. We hope that it's legitimate happiness. But we also know that everybody's always got something, trials and tribulations that they're dealing with. And we just want to try to reach out to God in the times where we're flying high and the times when we're— Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:38:35 - 00:38:49]

Feeling low. And try not to— I don't want to say think too much. I mean, you do want to enjoy when times are feeling high, but you don't want to say— fool yourself and think it's always like that. To enjoy them and thank God for your blessings.

Lanée Blaise [00:38:49 - 00:38:49]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:38:50 - 00:39:06]

But when inevitably it's up and down in life, Jesus said, in this world you will have troubles. But he also said he's there, he's overcome the world. And, um, I don't know how we balance that. How can we fully enjoy these flying high times? Because we don't want to just sit there waiting for the What is that expression?

Lanée Blaise [00:39:06 - 00:39:08]

The other shoe to drop?

Sandy Kovach [00:39:08 - 00:39:14]

Yeah. Don't want to do that. Don't want to do that. No. But how do we keep perspective on it?

Lanée Blaise [00:39:15 - 00:40:02]

My mother is another one. I didn't like it when she told me this originally. But like I said, because she'd been through divorce, because she'd been through both of her parents passing away and trying to care for them till they did. But she also had children that she loved. She had a career teaching that she loved. She said, she told me this decades ago, but she liked to have a kind of a homeostasis, kind of like a balance, a middle ground where when things are really great and happening wonderfully, she appreciates it, she savors it, and she enjoys it and loves it. And when things are going terrible, she does not enjoy it, and she is not wanting to be there. But that she tries to Hold on to some semblance of middle ground regardless.

Lanée Blaise [00:40:03 - 00:40:39]

So she is not that girl who is going to be on a roller coaster with her hands up in the air and screaming in her headbag like, ah, yes! She's not gonna do that. And she's also not gonna be at the— the roller coaster goes to the bottom and just totally like, just take me outta here, take me outta here. She's gonna be in the middle. She's gonna be like, this is fun, this is nice. And whoa, this is tough, this is scary. She has an internal balance. Now, I don't know that I have that, but it is something that I will try to strive for, you know?

Sandy Kovach [00:40:39 - 00:40:39]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:40:41 - 00:40:44]

Not too, too high highs and not too, too low lows.

Sandy Kovach [00:40:44 - 00:41:11]

Yeah, I love that. When you're in the low lows, to find little things that make you happy. I just heard my cat meow in the distance and I thought about Belle and how she's always there. Even when I'm sad. And then also, you've always got friends or other people that things are not going great, and to keep that in mind too, and to have empathy and help them if God calls you to do that, or at the very least, pray for them.

Lanée Blaise [00:41:11 - 00:42:12]

Absolutely. I feel that part of what we do on Imagine Yourself Podcast is to try to encourage ourselves and encourage you to step back sometimes, take a little moment out of your busy day, and reflect. Give yourself encouragement, look for encouragement, grab yourself up and think about, I want to do a new thing. Because that's in the Bible too, you know, look, look and see, I am doing a new thing. Let's follow God's lead on that. When there's things that are not serving you anymore in your life, Mindsets, perspectives, frustrations, things like that, to try to do our best to hold on to something that's faith-filled, that will bring us more wisdom, more resilience, more faith, more hope, more self-love, more God-love. Even starting the day, having a default button that just says, you know, God loves me.

Sandy Kovach [00:42:12 - 00:42:13]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:42:13 - 00:42:50]

I love God. I trust God. God takes care of us, even in the hard times. Having that be a mantra that will reset your system will keep you in that state of homeostasis and balance. So overall, we just have to understand, some doors won't open, some seasons will end, some dreams will change, some answers will never come. And we don't always even know why. We're not in control of all the things, but we know the one who is.

Sandy Kovach [00:42:51 - 00:42:51]

Amen.

Lanée Blaise [00:42:51 - 00:43:07]

That's the takeaway. Imagine yourself letting go of the life you thought had to happen so that your hands can finally be open for the life that God is actually leading you into.

Sandy Kovach [00:43:08 - 00:43:35]

We so appreciate you spending some time with us today. Hope this was a very meaningful and helpful episode for you. If you can think of somebody in your circle that would benefit from this, definitely hope you'll share it with them, pass it along, and pass along your feedback to us. Ratings and reviews are always appreciated. Reach out via email or on social media, Facebook and Instagram. All the links are in the show notes.