Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think?

Have you ever spent an entire day replaying one conversation... wondering if you said the wrong thing? Or wished someone would simply say, "You did a great job!"?  

You're definitely not alone.

In this episode, Sandy and Lanée have an honest conversation about something almost all of us wrestle with: caring too much about what other people think.

Together they discuss:

• Why external validation is never enough
• How to focus on what God thinks of you (not other people!) 
• Why criticism affects some more than others
• Building self-validation without becoming self-centered
• Practical ways to become more emotionally resilient
• The difference between healthy feedback and unhealthy dependence on approval

If you've ever found yourself wondering, "Was I good enough?" or "What are they thinking about me?"... or you just want to focus less on the opinion of others - this conversation is for you!

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 "Imagine Yourself" is hosted by Lanée Blaise and Sandy Kovach—two dynamic voices with a passion for inspiring and uplifting others. Lanée, a TV writer, producer, motivational speaker, and podcaster, brings powerful storytelling and insight. Sandy, a radio personality, voiceover artist, and podcaster, delivers warmth and wisdom with every conversation. Broadcasting from the Detroit Metro area, they welcome guests from around the world to share valuable perspectives on health, career growth, faith, and personal transformation. Tune in and imagine the possibilities for your life!

Transcript

Lanée Blaise [00:00:01 - 00:00:20]

Hello, everybody out there. I am Lanee, here with Sandy, and I want to ask you a big, juicy question today. Do you really need the approval of others, or are you enough in your own mind and in God's eyes?

Sandy Kovach [00:00:20 - 00:00:26]

I know what the right answer should be. Do you want me to give you a true answer? Be honest.

Lanée Blaise [00:00:27 - 00:00:28]

May as well.

Sandy Kovach [00:00:28 - 00:00:35]

I feel like I fall way back into needing the approval of others more often than I should. How about that?

Lanée Blaise [00:00:35 - 00:01:15]

See, that's the oddest part, because how about too, there's times when we're more vulnerable or less vulnerable. There are certain people that maybe we don't care what they think. And others that we, for some reason, they have this hold over us where we really get involved in it. When we were starting this episode, I kept thinking about my daughter Kayla. My little darling Kayla. She just graduated from med school recently. She recently had her first week of working as an actual doctor, an OB GYN doctor in residency. And in that first three days of work, she delivered eight healthy babies.

Lanée Blaise [00:01:17 - 00:01:58]

Just, wow. Like, overwhelming. Because even though you learn things in med school, it's different than, like, okay, go ahead and go, just deliver this baby or do a C section or all the things. And she would call me and tell me about her day. And some of those days were the hardest. Not because of what actually happened in the operating room or in the delivery room, but because she was like, mom, I just wish one of the attending doctors would say to me, good job, or you just, at very least you did that correctly. And that was not happening. And so I was trying to tell her, you know, to just build up that ability to validate yourself.

Lanée Blaise [00:01:58 - 00:02:38]

Know within yourself that you did a good job. Know within yourself that God is proud of you. God is the best boss that she could ever have. Better than any of those doctors. You know, that's our truest boss. And so who better to work for than the creator of these little babies? And, you know, you're literally bringing his children into this world from heaven to earth. And she was exhausted because she'd been on a long shift. But how do we push this out for all of us, for you, for me, for anyone listening, where we, number one, do like Colossians 3, 23, whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for people.

Lanée Blaise [00:02:39 - 00:02:55]

Like, how do we do that? How do we actually do that? So, Sandy, when you and me, we're going to, like, push, put our heads together, and we're going to take some tips that we've got, some quotes and Some scripture. And we're going to lay this out because I do think this society really focuses too much on what other people

Sandy Kovach [00:02:55 - 00:03:25]

think, more so now than ever. And I think we'll run through the whole gamut. But saying right out of the gate there that we work as unto the Lord, we can encourage ourself, as David did. He said, encourage yourself in the Lord. But sometimes we don't get the approval of other people, and sometimes we do. And it's not that we're not confident. It's not that we're walking around and we can't function without the approval of other people. But first of all, some people need it more than others.

Sandy Kovach [00:03:26 - 00:03:54]

Kayla, at the beginning of her career, is gonna need some reassurance a lot more than a doctor who's been delivering babies for 30 years. Yeah, I mean, but also, by the same token, she may not get it because the doctor who's working with her, that might not even be in his DNA to, like, say, good job. Some people just don't. Some people are encouragers, and some people are just like, well, yeah, you delivered the baby. That's what you're supposed to do.

Lanée Blaise [00:03:55 - 00:04:12]

Or like. Or, if I have a problem with you, I'll let you know. And a lot of times parents do this too. We need to remember sometimes, if I have a problem with you, oh, I will let you know. But if I'm super proud of you, I might not let you know. Or you. Sometimes I used to find out from, like, my dad's friends, whatever. They're like, oh, your dad talks about you.

Lanée Blaise [00:04:12 - 00:04:34]

He says all these great things about you, and I'm like, you didn't tell me. He's like, you're fine. You know, you're fine. Thanks, dad. You know, it's just like, sometimes there's a multitude of reasons why they didn't think that they. Or maybe they. You looked confident and you looked fine, so, like, they didn't need to heap any extra praise on you. It's just.

Lanée Blaise [00:04:34 - 00:04:56]

It's a weird thing that we humans do or need or want, and sometimes we might want to make sure that we're not guilty of it as well. Maybe there's someone in our lives that we need to make sure that we give extra encouragement to and also extra resilience to be able to help them booster up themselves without us.

Sandy Kovach [00:04:56 - 00:05:36]

Yeah, exactly. Some people are a lot more dependent on that than other people. But to put our security, to put our mood even that day, like, let's. All right, let's take it down a Minute. And let's say it's not even as big as delivering a baby. Let's say I sent an email to you and it was important to me that you answered it, but for whatever reason you were busy. And then I started thinking, did I say something to Lynae? Why didn't she answer my email or a text or whatever? So overthinking, overthinking. Why do we get like that? I mean it can be all the way from a big task like delivering a baby to a simple.

Sandy Kovach [00:05:36 - 00:05:45]

We didn't get an answer to a text message back. In this constant seeking of maybe not even approval, but feedback. How about feedback? Maybe that's a word.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:46 - 00:05:55]

Yeah, that's the part. And, and this world is sometimes not kind, not always easy, not even always thinking about you.

Sandy Kovach [00:05:55 - 00:05:56]

That's the part.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:56 - 00:06:25]

Like sometimes, like it's not, it has nothing to do with you. And that's where I love to have it circle back now. This is crazy because I'm gonna bring back my dad again. It's the same man who taught me, linnae, you need to be your own best friend. He's like, I'm my own best friend. I will often walk into a room and he is sitting there in the room all by himself and he doesn't have the television on and he is just laughing and I'm like, what are you laughing at? Oh, just something I thought of. Joke I thought of. It's like he's telling.

Lanée Blaise [00:06:25 - 00:07:05]

He tells his own jokes and laughs. It's just like there's a beauty to that, there is a strength to that. And I think like today I want to make sure that we walk away with some hard hitting things because on a physical level, on a spiritual level, on an emotional and mental level, there are things that we can do to help us get that sense of self validation, being our own best friend, realizing that we are enough for, for ourselves. We accept ourselves and that God, that we're definitely enough in God's eyes.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:05 - 00:07:06]

That's right.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:06 - 00:07:21]

And so like we're gonna jump into that because I know it's just so many things when, you know, Gen X baby boomers, I feel like always been kind of self sufficient, like, you know, just push through and have inner strength and stuff like that.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:21 - 00:07:22]

Drink hose water.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:23 - 00:07:28]

Oh gosh, yes. You have a good immune system too. You have a good immune system on the outside.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:28 - 00:07:29]

What is it?

Lanée Blaise [00:07:29 - 00:07:30]

What is it on the inside?

Sandy Kovach [00:07:30 - 00:07:55]

We stay outside all day until the like we're kids and the street lights come on. And if we need a drink we drink hose water. And there's all kinds of cliches about, you know, the way that older generations grew up and now society is different now completely. It's hard to do the comparison. But yeah, the push. We're like the push through generation. Just grit your teeth. There's something to that, right? I mean, but there's more to it.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:55 - 00:08:47]

It's a balance. Yeah, yeah, there's a balance because some people need to be reminded when you're going to grit your teeth and push through, why don't you physically set yourself up for success the best way possible? Because if we're talking about, like having self validation, I don't want it to be that we spend every day just eating a whole roll of Oreos and just staring mindlessly at the TV screen or some kind of screen, and that we never say anything to anyone, like, and then just be like, hey, I'm enough. I'm good job. No, I do want us put some tangible things in place. I love preparation. And this whole show, Imagine Yourself is all. This whole podcast is about self improvement from the inside out, right? As far as with our relationship with ourselves, with our God, with our family members and, and our. With food, with everything.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:47 - 00:09:37]

So, like, whether it's meal prepping or stretching or especially as we get older, you got to stretch before you lift that box up off the floor. You know, I also now am in this whole kick of I love to pack for a trip way in advance so I don't have to worry about it. You want to start a big work project, you don't want to necessarily procrastinate, wait to the, you know, the last minute, but you map out your strategy, you maybe clear out the junk food in your pantry. All these different things are ways that I feel like we can set ourselves up for success. And like with my daughter, what she's trying to do now, instead of getting into that overthinking mode and ruminating mode, she told me this morning, too. She's like, I hate having to take bad situations and make them into learning things. I won't push that too hard. But in a way, she accidentally is.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:37 - 00:09:59]

She is making sure now that she comes in a little bit earlier, she reads the charts from the patients before she even has to be on the floor. She does all these things to kind of prepare to help the day have a higher chance of going well. And that way she will probably be less relying less on what these attending doctors say to her.

Sandy Kovach [00:09:59 - 00:10:39]

When we do these mental physical preparations, we're kind of getting more Confidence in ourselves and our ability to get things done. So we're not walking around as much on eggshells, maybe, or depending on other people and what they say and validating us. Yes, because we're preparing. And we also need to ment. Prepare ourselves for the fact that we may not get any kind of an answer back. We may not get any feedback, we may not get a compliment. We may not get anything at all. Because like we were saying, some people aren't wired to do it.

Sandy Kovach [00:10:40 - 00:11:27]

Some people are busy, they're preoccupied with their own issues. That doctor that, you know, was working with Kayla, he might have had something going on at home that was just totally filling his mind. Is it that Mel Robinson has that whole let them thing? You just. Yes, let them do what they do. Take care of your business and encourage yourself in the Lord and say scriptures to yourself, remember who you are and remember you're dealing with pleasing an audience of one. And of course it matters what the doctor thinks. But ultimately, Kayla knows she did a good job. And the parents of that baby, you know, the healthy baby, and she sees the baby and the mama and.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:27 - 00:11:29]

Yeah, so that's the way.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:29 - 00:11:58]

Oh, I'm a reminder of that, too, because that's what she came to do. She didn't come to work to satisfy a chart, a checklist of things for the doctor. She came to help women deliver their healthy babies, you know, with this little pain and with as much safety and precautions as possible. And that's that part where we wait for God to say, well done, my good and faithful servant. That's the key. Yeah, that is truly the key.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:59 - 00:12:44]

So what happens, Linnae, when we get into. All right, we talked a little bit about work situations, and it can be personal situations or situations when we, you know, you know, send an email or text and we don't get a response. But what about the whole social media situation? And what about, like, now I understand some people are on social media for their business, including us, and we like to get interactions and we like it when people like our content or make a comment on our content. Please go over to imagine yourself on Facebook or, you know, Instagram right now and do it. We would love that. But should I, as me or whoever, be like, oh, my gosh, we only got 3 likes on this post. I'm going to go be depressed all day.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:45 - 00:12:48]

So I have a weird answer for that.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:48 - 00:12:48]

Okay.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:48 - 00:13:21]

And it has to do with social media, but it also has to do with life in general. I'll preface it by saying we all know that There are these people who say that they posted some video of them doing something weird and they almost didn't post it because they thought it was stupid. And then it goes viral and it's just like it's their claim to fame in a good way forever. And they're like, I'm famous now. But they had no clue that that's what was going to do it. And then they have stuff that they put together this amazing video and they made sure they pushed it out there and boosted the post. And it has. Nothing happens.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:21 - 00:13:32]

Right. So the answer to me is expect the unexpected. Embrace that I. My family has been watching Dang. On that reality show, Big Brother.

Sandy Kovach [00:13:32 - 00:13:34]

Oh, gosh, over 20 years.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:35 - 00:14:04]

Like, good for good, bad, indifferent. We have watched almost all the seasons. And Julie Chin Moonves, who's the host of the show, we all are in love with her. She always reminds the players of the game to expect the unexpected. There's always some kind of plot twist or game challenge that's unexpected and it throws the person's game off and they. It forces them to pivot in that same spirit. God's ways are higher than our ways. They're different than our ways.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:05 - 00:14:26]

We all know that He. He didn't have Moses and the folks come out of Egypt and go straight to the promised land. There were all kinds of twists and turns and pivots. So we must remember in our life to expect the unexpected. Okay. We put that effort in. It didn't get the result that we wanted at all. We try our best to go ahead and be human and say, dang it, you know, did not like that.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:26 - 00:14:35]

That's not what I wanted. But then we try our best to lift our eyes higher and be like, okay, God. And actually, by the way, what did you want from this guy?

Sandy Kovach [00:14:35 - 00:14:35]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:35 - 00:14:35]

You know.

Sandy Kovach [00:14:35 - 00:14:37]

Yeah, you created.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:37 - 00:15:00]

You know, maybe I should have gone to you first. Things might have worked out differently. That's really my answer. Like, God doesn't always operate in a straight line or the most efficient way or our way or genie in the bottle way. I don't want anybody to be negative necessarily and be like, I'm just always expecting something negative and crazy unexpected. Because sometimes unexpectedly wonderful things happen.

Sandy Kovach [00:15:00 - 00:15:01]

Sure.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:02 - 00:15:06]

So just be. Be ready for that Is like, understand. That's life.

Sandy Kovach [00:15:06 - 00:15:22]

I mean, I've heard this is more kind of in the business motivation realm. There's no such thing as a mistake. You either win or you learn. That's another famous quote. Yes. There is no lose. Now, you tell that to whoever lost the Super Bowl. Last year.

Sandy Kovach [00:15:23 - 00:15:28]

But I mean there's soccer game. Soccer. But like.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:28 - 00:16:05]

Okay, how about this though too? How about from a psychological perspective on PubMed Central, I.e. some big fancy psychological research center. They deal with the journals of medicine. That psychological research shows that people who accept and expect both joy and pain in life actually report higher overall life satisfaction and higher well being than those who completely just run straight towards endless pleasure.

Sandy Kovach [00:16:05 - 00:16:06]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:06 - 00:16:21]

Just emotionally prepare yourself for the ups and downs, even for the part like I, I'm telling my daughter to go in there and just be emotionally prepared. If you have to put on like a mental helmet. Because some of the doctors, it's not even that they didn't say good job or whatever, it's that they might yell at her, you know, so.

Sandy Kovach [00:16:21 - 00:16:22]

Oh gosh.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:23 - 00:16:39]

Yeah, like it was like ah. Or yell it. She watches someone else get yelled or whatever and, and to just, I hate to say it, but be ready. Put all your internal strength and push it in there. All your self validation. This is why I came here. This is what I came to do. This is what God thinks of me.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:39 - 00:16:53]

This is what I think of myself. And the barbs may come and the tribulations may come, but I am going to stay strong in the storm. I'm going to be like that little. What is that? Like a little seedling that makes it through the storm, you know?

Sandy Kovach [00:16:53 - 00:16:54]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:54 - 00:16:55]

And still standing.

Sandy Kovach [00:16:55 - 00:17:34]

Even though the house that's built on the rock, it's not on the sand. And there goes, you know, your preparation analogy there a little bit as well. But in this world we will have trouble. But I have overcome the world. A lot of people know that scripture, you know, Jesus tells us, hey, this is going to happen. And like you said, life is not a straight line. Mistakes are going to happen. Things that aren't really mistakes, things that people yelling at us or you know, people are rude sometimes you're driving and you make a innocent mistake and people act like you just, you're a mass murderer or something.

Sandy Kovach [00:17:34 - 00:17:38]

Like the way they flip you off or you know, or like shaking their face.

Lanée Blaise [00:17:39 - 00:18:12]

Yeah, they're going crazy and it's like they've maybe got something going on with their day and they're pushing it out, which, which also speaks to the part. Please don't mistake Sandy or myself. We are not saying that something bad or terrible happens and you're just like, okay, that's just life. Whatever. Like go ahead and be sad, let cry, let it out, you know, be genuine with your emotions. Let it out. We just hope and pray that we don't want to let you just stay camped and parked there for too long.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:12 - 00:18:37]

Yeah. And don't worry too much. And you know, circling back to the other people, what they think, whether it's a guy shaking his fist, statue in a car, you gotta blow that off. First of all, don't engage. I mean, because these people. Yeah, yeah. But if you can blow that off quickly or somebody says something rude to you, or it's just something innocent that you feel like somebody gave you the side eye. I mean, people can.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:37 - 00:18:51]

You can go off on all kinds of tangents just with one person in a bad interaction. Have you ever done that where you. I don't know. Let's take the example. I don't know if this has ever happened to me necessarily. Oh, okay. I do have a story. I went to the grocery store.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:51 - 00:19:01]

This is a long time ago, back before self checkout. And I had more than 15 items. And I didn't. I just was. I didn't see the sign.

Lanée Blaise [00:19:02 - 00:19:02]

Okay. Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:02 - 00:19:20]

Honestly, I would not have gone to this register. And the lady, you know, she let me in there, but the guy behind me was giving me all kinds of, you know, muttering under his breath. And he was obviously in a hurry and making the impatient face. And I got back home and I told my husband, he's like, what were you doing in line with 15 things?

Lanée Blaise [00:19:21 - 00:19:25]

Oh, no, he. He did not put his arms around you and comfort you.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:25 - 00:19:28]

No, no, he was like, you know, you're. You were wrong. And I was.

Lanée Blaise [00:19:29 - 00:19:31]

Yeah. But it was an honest, simple mistake.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:31 - 00:19:48]

And I'm still thinking about it years later now. It doesn't do anything to my personality, but for a while I was, boy, am I like, I really let it affect me. You should have just seen the guy behind me. I mean, if you had seen him, you would have been affected too. And I. Yeah. So have you ever had anything like that happen to you?

Lanée Blaise [00:19:49 - 00:20:14]

Yeah, but I guess so. Interestingly enough, everybody's so different the way I'm wired. Cause Kayla told me this the other day too. Like, we were. I was driving her to where she lives now. We had a nice eight hour long drive, and near the end of it, I did something. And this dude, I mean, he beeped the horn, he yelled out the F words, he gave me the bird. He did all the things right.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:14 - 00:20:38]

And I was like, oh, dang, I wish I hadn't. I shouldn't have switched lanes like that. And then I just. It rolled right off my back. And Kayla's like, mom, if that had happened to Me, I would be so upset the whole rest of the ride. And I'm like, no, I probably shouldn't have switched lanes when I did. The way I did wasn't terrible. It didn't really warrant all that he did, but he probably is having a bad day.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:39 - 00:21:11]

She's like, okay, now, so. But then, Linnae's Achilles heel, please don't let anybody in Linnae's family be disappointed in something that she did or the way she said it or the way she did it. I. That stuff. There's a few things either my sisters have said to me or my husband said to me that I can't like, shake to this day. So it's very interesting where that self validation stuff, it gets people different ways, different vulnerabilities. Anybody there out there in these streets, I really don't care what they think. I'm kind of like my dad.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:11 - 00:21:32]

I'm my own best friend. I'm fine. I'll live, you know? Yeah. They curse me out and fuss me out and I don't really say, like you said, I don't engage. Maybe I nodded my head to that guy, like, yep, I feel you. Because I actually didn't want him to be so upset anymore. So I didn't want to, like, I wanted to show some contrition, but I wasn't going to take it too far. And then I completely forgot about it.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:32 - 00:21:55]

But again, if it's a family member, I. I can't shake it. Anything. Like a little bit of disapproval is very hard and I'm trying my best to transfer that to like I do with other folks out in the streets, whatever, and just go back to God. What does God think? What did God see? Does God forgive me? Does God love me? Yes. Yes, yes. And I love myself. And.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:55 - 00:22:07]

And I keep doing that thing we talked about before where I did it last night. Looked in the mirror. Looked eye to eye in the mirror. Lenae, I love you. God loves you. You're going to be okay. You're healthy, you're strong, you're all these great things.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:07 - 00:22:07]

Push through.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:07 - 00:22:08]

No.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:08 - 00:22:09]

Push through.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:09 - 00:22:11]

Yes. 1970s, baby.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:11 - 00:22:13]

Yes. And here's some hose water.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:13 - 00:22:14]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:14 - 00:22:14]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:14 - 00:22:16]

Get that immune system strong, too.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:16 - 00:22:17]

It is just, ah.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:17 - 00:22:22]

There's something that we. I want us to learn to reset. I want this to be our default.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:22 - 00:22:22]

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:22 - 00:22:41]

Whether it's family, whether it's people in the street, I want us to feel what we feel because we're human, genuinely. And then I want there to be some button that kicks in and goes. And then like a generator Comes up and then we're like, we're back. Okay. Like the Terminator. We woke back up like, oh, yes, the Terminator.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:41 - 00:22:42]

Yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:42 - 00:22:49]

Left that in the past. We're back strong. We're all healed up, all the wounds or whatever. Or even like that. Was that the T2000 or something?

Sandy Kovach [00:22:49 - 00:22:59]

Terminator 2 was the best one, right? With the. He was the guy. Yeah. They would keep coming back and. Yes. Yeah, he dressed up like the transform.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:59 - 00:23:13]

Yeah, I want to do that emotionally. I want to emotionally heal the wounds, transform, reset, and come back and finish out the rest of my day without that hanging over me. And that's what I want for all of us.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:13 - 00:23:23]

That's so good. If you haven't seen Terminator 2 in a while with AI coming up, you could probably watch it in a whole different way these days. But yeah, think of that guy. He's the villain, right? Yes, he's the bad guy.

Lanée Blaise [00:23:23 - 00:23:27]

He's the villain. But he was a good villain. I mean, he was a.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:27 - 00:23:29]

He was a resilient villain.

Lanée Blaise [00:23:29 - 00:23:33]

He was a resilient villain. A resilient villain.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:33 - 00:23:33]

Yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:23:33 - 00:23:39]

Cause he wasn't good. But yeah, he was a resilient villain. That's what I want us to be, resilient heroes.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:39 - 00:24:02]

And remember, we have God. It's not like we have to do this. Yes, we encourage ourselves, but we encourage ourselves in the Lord. And so it's self validation. Absolutely, 100%. It's preparation. Like Linnae was talking about, making sure you know what you're doing and being confident in yourself, being your own best friend, all of that too. But remember, even if you're having a terrible day and you're not really feeling that great, you are with God.

Sandy Kovach [00:24:02 - 00:24:18]

God is your strength. Yes. I mean, because there's going to be some days. Some days you're great. You're having a good hair day, you're having, you know, you feel good, productive, productive. And other days you're just like, oh, barely functioning. But God is never like that. God's always strong.

Sandy Kovach [00:24:18 - 00:24:19]

And when we're weak, he's strong.

Lanée Blaise [00:24:21 - 00:24:27]

I mean, I'm about to mess up the scripture. But our weakness, our strength is made

Sandy Kovach [00:24:27 - 00:24:30]

perfect in his strength is made perfect in our weakness.

Lanée Blaise [00:24:30 - 00:25:15]

Bam. There it is. That's the one. If we can hold on to that. Because that is assuming from jump that we have weaknesses and that we are going to falter and that we will need God and that God will happily be there to help lift us up with his righteous right hand. And that is like, if we can focus on and look for the godly, the spiritual motivation versus what society thinks, what he thinks and what she thinks and what they think. Honey, like, it's just like, let's get back to what God thinks and let that influence what we think. And then we can be more like my daddy who is in there sitting, telling jokes and to himself and.

Lanée Blaise [00:25:15 - 00:25:16]

Yeah. And laughing at them.

Sandy Kovach [00:25:18 - 00:25:23]

That's the best part. He's not only telling jokes to himself, but he's laughing at them. I love it. I love it.

Lanée Blaise [00:25:23 - 00:25:24]

That's life.

Sandy Kovach [00:25:24 - 00:25:25]

That is living.

Lanée Blaise [00:25:25 - 00:25:59]

That is when you are truly, you know, between you God and your me, myself and I and God, we are own little crew. We don't need the approval of anybody else to show that we're enough. We care about what others think because we care about people. And we can apologize or try to do our best if we've hurt someone's feelings, but we do not need to stay in a cocoon of sadness and despair and disappointment in ourselves because of their disappointment in us.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:00 - 00:26:15]

Exactly 100%. It's not that we don't. We're not gonna function in society. We're only gonna do our own thing. And we don't care about you. And it's not like that at all. Sometimes people act like that. It's just that we're not gonna get overly washed out about it.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:15 - 00:26:28]

Like you were saying. Lynae, back to the 15 items. I honestly made a mistake, but I was wrong. I was wrong to get in that. That lane. And sometimes people do things that are a lot more serious than too many groceries, right?

Lanée Blaise [00:26:29 - 00:26:30]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:30 - 00:26:30]

Oh, this.

Lanée Blaise [00:26:30 - 00:26:39]

Oh, you're getting on some good. Keep going. Because I know. I see where you're going with this. Like sometimes we do really miss the mark, fall short. We do mess up.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:40 - 00:26:48]

And we need to acknowledge that. If we've hurt somebody, acknowledge to ourselves or repent to the Lord. But then we move on.

Lanée Blaise [00:26:49 - 00:26:49]

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:49 - 00:27:01]

Don't keep beating yourself up about it if you've asked for forgiveness on it, because that does happen. We're human beings and we're gonna screw things up. Have you ever had a. Can you think of a situation like that?

Lanée Blaise [00:27:02 - 00:27:36]

Oh, yeah. That goes back to these family things. I have said some things. When you have sisters or brothers, they're the people that you've known the longest. Like they say, like, those are the people that you're gonna know the longest. Longer than your parents because you'll probably all outlive your parents. And longer than your spouse because you only met your spouse X years into your life. So they're like, you have this comfort level with them and sometimes, I don't know, I just, I say something thinking I'm funny and I look at one of my sister's faces like, dang it, that was not funny.

Lanée Blaise [00:27:36 - 00:28:19]

And I think she feels like it even hit below the belt. I've really hurt her. And that's the time when I should, I think, feel some repentance and some sadness and some. Okay, so let me do my best to make it right and then pray to God that God forgives me and pray that she can forgive me and give her some time and hope for the best. And that's the part where because humans are unpredictable, they may or may not forgive you on the side of the heaven. So in that case, what do you do because you care, but you also don't want to drown in it in a bad way. So yeah, I've been there. Definitely.

Lanée Blaise [00:28:19 - 00:28:35]

I've got one incident that I won't repeat it because it was a tough one. It affected my one sister and she, we never forgot it, but she still loves me, thank God. I don't know if she forgave me or not, but I know she still loves me and I love her. But yeah, I've done some doozies mainly with my talking.

Sandy Kovach [00:28:37 - 00:28:39]

Yeah, we're still, we're trying to be funny, I get. Yep.

Lanée Blaise [00:28:39 - 00:28:40]

Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:28:40 - 00:28:40]

Yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:28:41 - 00:29:02]

So like sarcastic or something like, dang, that did not go over well and vice versa. Sometimes one of my siblings will say something to me. They're like, haha. I'm just like. And they're like, oh dang, that did not hit right. That's the whole part of forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself, forgiveness of others, forgiveness of that comment to try to reboot.

Sandy Kovach [00:29:02 - 00:29:13]

And for your sister or for anyone who is on the receiving end or when we've been on the receiving end, that's a harder one to not care what people think. Right.

Lanée Blaise [00:29:14 - 00:29:18]

Because we're still going to see her at Thanksgiving. And yeah, that's.

Sandy Kovach [00:29:18 - 00:29:28]

You gotta ask for God's help. You know, we're not sitting here saying, oh, just don't care what people think. And la de da. That's an example of like, hey, some things are huge, but we don't want

Lanée Blaise [00:29:28 - 00:29:47]

it to become our identity. We don't want what that person thinks of us, whoever they are, or their feedback or whatever, to become our identity, to become what we think and feel about ourselves. Sandy, you sent this quote to me the other day. I don't even know where it came from, but it was, it was so good.

Sandy Kovach [00:29:48 - 00:29:54]

Other people's approval should be a gift, not your source of oxygen.

Lanée Blaise [00:29:55 - 00:29:56]

Yes, that was the one.

Sandy Kovach [00:29:56 - 00:30:10]

Yeah. It's like you can't live on it. You can't live on their approval. You can't live on their disapproval. It's a gift. It's great when you get it. It's disappointing when you get disapproval, but you can't breathe it. It's not your air.

Sandy Kovach [00:30:10 - 00:30:29]

Your air that you breathe. And God breathes the air into you. So there it is. We have some tactics in our pocket and hope you got something out of the podcast and that you can care what people think in a normal way, in a more constructive way, in a construct. There you go. That's the word. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:30:29 - 00:30:55]

That helps build us up to be better and stronger and doesn't tear us down or tear anybody else down. And that in a way that we just keep looking upward for God's approval. That audience of one. To me, that's the key. That's the takeaway. In the end, imagine yourself knowing that you're enough and remembering that you are wonderfully and fearfully made by God.

Sandy Kovach [00:30:56 - 00:31:28]

Appreciate you spending some time with us today and hope that we can get some feedback from you about this episode. Give us a rating or a review. If you feel like you know somebody that could really use some of the tips and information in the episode today, please share it with friends. Find out more info about the podcast atimagine yourself podcast.com and hook up with us there on social media too. You can find all the links in the show notes.