How to Get Your Spark Back w/ Psychotherapist and Podcaster Stephanie James

Ever feel like you're stuck in a rut and can't find your spark? In this episode, we sit down with psychotherapist and podcaster, Stephanie James, who sheds light on how to reignite your passion and purpose in everyday life. With actionable tips on self-care, gratitude, and even the power of what we consume mentally and physically, Stephanie breaks down how small “micro-deposits” can infuse power into your day.

Stephanie guides us through the transformative process of acknowledging all our emotions (both good and bad) but emphasizing that we are more than just our feelings. Whether you're looking to add more meaning to your day-to day with your family or work life… or want to connect more deeply with yourself, others and God, this episode is packed with useful tips and heartwarming stories. Join us and “Imagine Yourself”

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Imagine Yourself is hosted by Lanée Blaise and Sandy Kovach. Lanée is a TV writer and producer, motivational speaker and podcaster. Sandy is a radio personality, voiceover artist and podcaster. They come to you from the Detroit Metro area and invite guests from all over the world to help encourage you in your health, career, faith journey and more!

Transcript

Lanée Blaise [00:00:02]:
Okay, everyone out in Imagine Yourself podcast land. This is Lanee here with Sandy. And today, we have a guest and we're gonna really dig into that whole concept of in this life, of course, we're kinda told to go day by day. Many times it feels like we're doing things that either are not fully in our purpose, we're not walking in everything that we want to be in. We want to make sure that we don't lose out and lose our way. And so we've invited someone who's going to remind us all about how to put that spark into your everyday life, into each day, no matter what that day looks like. Our guest today is Stephanie James. She is a fellow podcaster just like us.

Lanée Blaise [00:00:49]:
Her podcast is called Igniting the Spark, but she is also a psychotherapist, a transformation coach, an author, which we'll hear some more about that, and a filmmaker. She lives her life, and she uses her work to help spread and share and ignite light and help all of us see that light within ourselves, even if we have to do a little digging to get to it. So let's go ahead and just welcome you. Stephanie James, thank you for joining us at Imagine Yourself podcast.

Stephanie James [00:01:26]:
Thank you. It's such a joy to be here with you both.

Sandy Kovach  [00:01:29]:
We are looking for that spark, and I saw your website. It says ignite your best life, illuminate the world and we're focusing that spark on every day. So there's this quote from Brene Brown. It says joy comes to us in ordinary moments we miss we risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary. So how can we take that spark and put it in the ordinary?

Stephanie James [00:01:54]:
Great question. I love that. I think part of what perhaps Brene was talking about, but for all of us, I think we have to slow down enough to notice those moments, those moments where sparks are already there? Because people ask me all the time, you know, in interviews, so what is the spark? And to me, you know, the spark, it's our essence. It's who we really are. You know? Some people might call it the god seed. It might be called our spirit, but it's that beautiful peace in us that no matter what hap happens circumstantially, it is always alive and well within us. And, yes, you know, as Lanee said at the beginning, sometimes we have to do some excavating to get there. Sometimes we also when we wanna really continue to ignite that spark or to notice things that ignite that spark within us, we have to slow down.

Stephanie James [00:02:47]:
Part of it is we can make the ordinary extraordinary when we pause, when we notice. You know, an example would be, Sandy, when I take my morning walk with my dog every morning, I can't tell you how many pictures I take because flowers right now are in bloom. The sky is gorgeous. The trees are so green. And so it's those little moments of noticing, noticing the beauty that's all around us. And people will say, well, I live in the city, and and it's not as you know, I can't go hiking. And I say, well, you can always look up. The sky is always changing.

Stephanie James [00:03:24]:
There's always something beautiful there. So part of that, I would say, Sandy, is connecting to nature and having it be a morning practice. I've told people for years, 1 of my favorite morning practices is first thing in the morning, I go out in the backyard, and I live in Colorado. So sometimes this is literally in the snow, But I go out in the backyard, and I put my bare feet on the Earth. What? And just that connects me to my spark. Sometimes I'm standing in the rain for a couple of moments. Sometimes I've got snow up to my ankles, but it's just a moment, and it makes me feel so alive. Talk about that initial, you know, first thing in the morning igniting your spark.

Stephanie James [00:04:07]:
It's right there.

Sandy Kovach  [00:04:08]:
I can agree with you except for the snow part. I don't know that I would have the courage, but I guess it's kinda like those guys that jump in the cold water

Lanée Blaise [00:04:16]:
that do that plunge. It's and it kind of you're talking about to just getting grounded and getting centered in a very natural way. Maybe that does help us to remember who we are, who we are in a unique way. And that if we're here, there must be something, you know, left for us to do. There must be something sparked. There was something beautiful put into us. And I guess it's just a matter of making sure we, like you said, pause and find that. I was looking at your website though too, and I saw that someone had mentioned on your website about reframing the way you look at each day and putting micro deposits in.

Lanée Blaise [00:04:58]:
Can you elaborate on that for us?

Stephanie James [00:05:01]:
Yes. Well, I first of all, I I would say the thing is that you begin every day, and and this is hard for us sometimes as mamas and people that are psychotherapists or healers or givers. You know? We make other people the priority first, and it's not about excluding other people from being a priority. It is prioritizing yourself, though, allowing yourself to be the priority in your own life. And a beautiful way to do this, which will help with those micro deposits that you're talking about, Linae, it's a practice of befriending ourselves. And we say, okay. First thing in the morning, I'm gonna give myself this first 10, 20, if you have the luxury of 30 minutes, to take care of you, to refuel you. And 1 of the ways that I love to invite people to do that, which then becomes intentional little micro deposits through the day, is to get a piece of paper, get your journal, and write down what I call the 3 c's.

Stephanie James [00:06:03]:
And you ask yourself these questions. So the first c is, how do I take care of myself today? Because today is gonna be different than yesterday. Yesterday, maybe 1 of the things I needed to do was, hey. Make sure in the middle of the day, you get a 25 minute nap. You know, you you need your power nap today, and make sure that you follow that anti inflammatory diet today. And make sure that you don't just take your morning walk, take another 15 minute walk when you get done with dinner. It's kinda like a care plan for yourself for the day, for that 24 hours. And, again, you're gonna wake up different each day.

Stephanie James [00:06:38]:
So it might be, I'm gonna do yoga today. I'm gonna meditate today. I'm gonna make sure, and this kinda leads into number 2, that I connect with other people today. So then the second c is how do I connect today? And it's connecting with ourselves, with our spirits, with the divine, and it's also how do I connect externally? And so these become again, you know, I always say if you text someone, it's okay. If you email them, better. If you Zoom with them, better. If you can see them in person, that's the best. Right? Although we know, like, doing this podcast right now, it's like we literally, at a quantum level, are exchanging subatomic particles, like, literally becoming a part of 1 another.

Stephanie James [00:07:22]:
So we we need this interconnection. It's, like, so essential for who we are. The little things you can do, though, throughout the day. Sometimes, I think it's helpful to just set an alarm. If you're someone who doesn't have a regular schedule, set it could be a random alarm. It could be on the hour if that works better. But when that goes off to pause and take 3 deep breaths into your heart. And if you know anything about heart math, number 1, it's such a great pattern interrupt to your day.

Stephanie James [00:07:55]:
It's such a stress buster, and what you do is it's it's brain heart cohesion, and you literally focus on moving out of your head and into your heart. It's so simplistic. You can literally do it in the bathroom stall if you're at work, and you put your hand on your heart, you take those deep breaths, and then you bring a sense of gratitude to yourself. It could be like today, I would say, oh my gosh. I'm so grateful and thankful for this beautiful sunshine today. We had really cloudy day yesterday. Or I might say, I'm so grateful and thankful for snuggles with my puppy this morning. You know? I mean, they don't have to be huge gratitudes, but we marinate on it.

Stephanie James [00:08:32]:
Marinate on it for about 30 seconds, and that's gonna start lifting you up. And that's what's cool is you can do this throughout the day. It's not just the 1 time morning prep, and I'm 1 and done. It's I can keep feeding my soul these little and it is little micro deposits. Right? Throughout the day of I'm connected, whether it's nature, whether it's seeing the light in someone's eyes, like the 2 of your eyes right now. I mean, it's these things are such a joy. Right? And and the last c is how can I be creative today? And this takes on so many different elements. I love this because I love how our brains function.

Stephanie James [00:09:12]:
I love neuroplasticity. So being creative can be as easy as I'm gonna brush my teeth today with my left hand because I'm right handed. Mhmm. I'm going to take a different route to work or not walk my dog the habitual path we go. I'm gonna be intentional about setting it, but creativity can also be you don't have to be a writer. You don't have to be an artist, but you can play with those mediums, or sometimes my favorite thing is I'll make a song list on Spotify for 1 of my friends. And so depending on what's happening in their life, I might say, okay. Here's 5 songs that are just gonna bring you joy, or here's 5 songs for just when you want a mellow evening, or maybe you just wanna feel, I want something that really lifts my heart.

Stephanie James [00:10:01]:
That's creative, and I love making my own sound playlist and then dancing in the kitchen when I'm making dinner. You know? Those are so, again, those are little things, and and you can fine tune those and tailor those to what ignites that creative spark in your soul. You know, what really helps you move into that flow state where you're out of your mind, not like out of your mind crazy, but out of your thinking mind Yes. And into the flow.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:28]:
I love that too because we tend to overthink in this life and in this world, and we tend to think that everything has to be so momentous and famous and, like you said, creative. It has to be a piece of art that we've created that's going to be sellable for and it doesn't have to be that way. So many things that we think are so crucial and important. We might be missing some of the other touches that are just as important and valuable too.

Sandy Kovach  [00:10:56]:
I love the music playlist idea. I had never thought see, music is my life. I mean, I can't play any music. I'm not I can't even sing. I was in radio for a lot of my life, too. So that's probably a fed it. And, I know Lanee loves music, too. And it's so, songs from back in the day can touch you and spark emotion.

Sandy Kovach  [00:11:17]:
It can kinda get to you like nothing else. So when you make a playlist, I mean, you're really speaking to somebody else's soul, especially if they're into music too.

Stephanie James [00:11:27]:
Yeah. Absolutely. I love that. You know, the thing I was I was thinking too as you were saying that, thinking about how music can lift us up, and it can also really put us in touch with, like, different emotions. Sometimes you hear a song, and it's it's actually sad, and it brings up some other emotions. To me, that's such an important part actually when we're talking about being in touch with our spark. It's not about faking it. It's not about going, like, every day is so incredible.

Stephanie James [00:11:56]:
There are going to be incredible moments through the day. And I think what keeps our sparks really ignited is to acknowledge when there's other feelings there instead, when it's not just the joy, you know, and to really be okay with what comes up. I love Rumi's poem, the guest house, because it talks it speaks exactly to that. This human experience is a guest house. Every day, this is not a the exact poem. It's a horrible probably. Yeah.

Sandy Kovach  [00:12:27]:
Let me paraphrase.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:28]:
Paraphrase. Yeah.

Stephanie James [00:12:29]:
Paraphrase. But here we go. I mean, but he basically is saying, you know, every day, a depression, a meanness, a sadness, you know, or a joy, something shows up as a visitor. Welcome them all. Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. And it says, even if 1 of those emotions violently sweeps your house of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. So the way that we isn't that awesome? I mean, you gotta look up the real poem,

Lanée Blaise [00:13:01]:
it is. I've never been exposed to this poem, but you might have

Sandy Kovach  [00:13:05]:
to put that on our website.

Stephanie James [00:13:06]:
Yeah. Oh my gosh. You guys, please. Because I I love it because what helps us to continue to have this conduit, you know, for the spark to really live through us is that we acknowledge, yes, sometimes I'm gonna be sad, and sometimes I'm angry or I'm confused or maybe I feel lonely. And those moments, if we try to resist them, that's what starts tamping down that spark, actually. You know? It's like, oh, I don't wanna feel that. I I or I need to be happy. I need to just be joy, but we are human beings having a you know, we are spiritual beings having this human experience, but the human experience is all of it.

Stephanie James [00:13:48]:
So it's embracing, you know, as as we actually like Rumi was saying, if we welcome the sorrow and we just notice it, it actually lasts so much shorter than if we're trying to repress it. Again, it's like, you know, I said, Lanee, at the beginning, you know, befriending yourself to you, talking about the concept of befriending yourself, that's what this is. It's befriending the whole experience of you, like our true authentic self. That's what's gonna keep that spark fuel going. That's what's really gonna keep that light ignited.

Sandy Kovach  [00:14:19]:
Because God gives us emotions, and God brings different things into our life. And we were we've done episodes before on people who have been through tremendous things and how God spoke to them through that, and they've impacted others. So maybe that's even the reason sometimes.

Stephanie James [00:14:35]:
Yes. I absolutely agree. You know, we don't always know as we're going through it. Like, we can't always see what's the divine message or what's the divine purpose. And if we're open to it in time, I really do believe it reveals itself and oftentimes and that's what my first film is about. When sparks ignite is really about the difficult and challenging times we face that then can become the match point that ignites something within us that become our gift to the world. It's playing right now on humanity stream plus and, Plex network on the more you channel. And I just encourage people to check it out because it really delivers that message as people are facing challenging times.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:19]:
That is very important to acknowledge because like you said, even just you know, I I remember, gosh, decades ago that book was it I'm Okay, You're Okay. And even the part about as we've evolved and learned that it's okay to not be okay, that whole concept is important. And it is very interesting to think of it as visitors flowing in and out, that you don't have to stay in any 1 particular state or emotion. I'm even gonna get really corny and talk about the phenomenal reaction to the film Inside Out. I know it's for kids, and I know they've got, like, Inside Out too. But it is all about the emotions that we have inside of us. And they they all have their own little characterization, I guess, as a psychotherapist, I'm sure you would not advise folks to, as a psychotherapist, I'm sure you would not advise folks to to squish and try to, like you said, resist those emotions. Go ahead and let it play its course out and see what it's got to offer even if you don't realize it till much later.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:29]:
Because as a psychotherapist, I always think that those are really heroes, especially when people are going through, you know, real traumas and real hardships. And I just wonder if your journey as a psychotherapist, is there something there that you need to kind of tell us about how that corresponds with our spark and how we can, on an everyday basis, bring more of it out.

Stephanie James [00:16:55]:
Yeah. I you know, 1 of 1 of the things that kinda goes with the characters and inside out as as you were speaking of them, and I love it because it's personification. Right? They personified each of these emotions. And 1 of the things I do with my clients is help them to actually acknowledge, of course, the emotion, but also not overidentify with it. So instead, you know, there there's a mnemonic device, which is naming is taming. If you can name the emotion, you tame it. And 1 of the ways you tame it is instead of just going, I'm angry. I'm angry.

Stephanie James [00:17:30]:
K. That means my whole being, my essence, I'm angry. Well, that's just not true. We actually can deal with the anger much more effectively if we say, I am experiencing anger.

Lanée Blaise [00:17:42]:
Yeah.

Stephanie James [00:17:42]:
So it's almost as if you take it, like, right out of your being, and you can hold it in your hand, and you can look at, oh, that's interesting. Wow. I am really getting triggered. I'm really getting activated about this old narrative or this old story, or maybe it's a new story that I'm making up, and I'm, you know, catastrophizing something or whatever it is. I'm I'm creating a fear state. 1 of the ways to keep our spark lit is to not get bogged down with saying, oh, I'm yes. We experience all these emotions. Are we them? No.

Stephanie James [00:18:17]:
No. We are that divine spark underneath it all. You know? Our emotions, our thoughts, they're just clouds in the sky of our being. They come and go. And so if we can learn how to befriend that process of just like you would lie in the grass as a kid, you know, and watch watch the clouds go by. It's like, oh, that 1 looks like a rabbit. Oh, that 1 that 1 looks like a tree or, you know, whatever. So that's what you're doing.

Stephanie James [00:18:42]:
You're acknowledging like, oh, that one's sadness. Okay. Yeah. Let's look at it.

Lanée Blaise [00:18:48]:
Yeah. Let's Be willing to face it. Yeah.

Stephanie James [00:18:51]:
Yeah. Yeah. And, again, it's not like, oh, I'm just gonna shove it away. Like, oh, there it is and shove it away, but it's like, I can deal with it much differently. I can't even say the sentence together. But it it's a very let's say this. It's a very different experience when I am able to just hold it as opposed to own it as me.

Sandy Kovach  [00:19:10]:
I like that. Now let's say I'm coming to you as a psychotherapist, and I have repressed my emotions for, like, a long time. What do you tell me to do with the ones that are kinda already stuck down there? Is there a process to sort of bring them up and deal with them if you haven't looked at them as clouds and whatnot?

Stephanie James [00:19:30]:
It's interesting. I've worked with so many people. I mean, I'm going into my 18th year here of being a psychotherapist, and I've worked with particularly men that maybe are a CEO of a company or, you know, the head chair of a university department, or even, you know, at 1 point, a world renowned brain surgeon who live in their heads. So we talk about this 18 inch journey of how do you go from, you know, your head down into your heart. Now for some people, it's very, very traumatic, and the reason that those emotions are blocked is because they went through some sort of trauma. And I am a trauma specialist, and 1 of the things I do is EMDR, which is a way of really disconnecting the memory. It's all neuropsych. I mean, it literally separates the the memory of the trauma from your physiological response so that literally it's wired differently neurologically at the end of treatment.

Stephanie James [00:20:24]:
And so it's very short term treatment, but it really helps people to access in a safe way some of those emotions that they were really afraid of. It provides a really strong container, and I think that's, you know, that's 1 of the things, Sandy, about psychotherapy that I think is and I do it a lot actually in my transformational coaching too because everyone has emotions. Right?

Lanée Blaise [00:20:49]:
Oh, yeah.

Stephanie James [00:20:49]:
And so it doesn't matter what client shows up. It's really about that softening in. And as people feel safe, then naturally these things come up. You know, I really I do liken it to nature because we're a part of nature, and nature is always in the process of healing itself. You know, you can see that, like, when a tree has a limb break off. The whole tree doesn't die. It actually forms almost like a scab. So it's healing that part of the tree so the tree can survive, and so we're the same.

Stephanie James [00:21:23]:
It's like as we feel safe, and that's a lot of times why, people think it it's so ironic as they get into relationship. The closer they get so, you know, dating then engagement then marriage, they're like, wait a minute. Why does my stuff keep coming up worse and worse and worse? You know, I'm getting more triggered because love brings up anything unlike itself for the purpose of being healed. So, hopefully, what we're doing in psychotherapy is we're providing a container of safety that really allows the person then to get in touch with those feelings. And then I always say, you know, the therapy office then imitates real life. So as they practice communicating those emotions, being in touch with those emotions, expressing those emotions in a healthy way in the office, then they're better able to start practicing that in their daily lives.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:21]:
That brings us back full circle to that everyday spark in life and, oh, wow. This is phenomenal. You are you are teaching us some things. I have another question for you. So I know that you have a new book, but can you tell, even before you tell exactly about the book, how it all came about? Because I get the feeling that you were living your everyday life and that you were going through making sure that your spark and creativity and your 3 C's were going well but it was also kind of a miracle involved in there too. Do you mind explaining that to us?

Stephanie James [00:23:00]:
Oh, I

Lanée Blaise [00:23:00]:
love that. This some inspiration.

Stephanie James [00:23:03]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. You know? And and 1 of you just said, you know, you have to be open to it. You know, miracles show up in our lives, I think, when we are open to them appearing. You know? And so with a glad heart, you know, in the morning, we say, you know, I'm so grateful and thankful for the miracles that will appear to me today. So this is about 3 months ago, and I was just in such joy. I interviewed Neil Donald Walsh. And for people that don't know Neale Donald Walsh, he wrote in the nineties conversations with God that sold over 5, 000, 000 copies worldwide.

Stephanie James [00:23:41]:
It's, written in 37 different languages. He has just been this huge inspiration in my life, and so to have him on the show was such a joy. And we got online together on a Zoom call, and we couldn't even get to the interview. You know, we just had this heart resonance, and we're just chatting and laughing, and he was so sweet and wonderful in asking me questions about my life. And at 1 point, he just stops the conversation, and he looks at me and he says, Stephanie, you're gonna write a new book, and you're gonna start tomorrow morning. And the name of this book is I'm Dying to Tell You About Death, and it's gonna have a global impact, and I will endorse this book. I just was like, okay. You know, I I heard it, and it was really this divine calling, like speaking through Neil.

Stephanie James [00:24:34]:
And I started it the next morning, and it was like nothing I've experienced in my lifetime. It has been 1 of the most extraordinary experiences. My first 2 books each took 9 months apiece to write. It was, like, literally, you know, growing a baby. You know, it was like the birthing process, and this book was a little shy. I mean, a little before 6 weeks, that book was done.

Lanée Blaise [00:25:00]:
Wow.

Stephanie James [00:25:00]:
And longer than any of the books I had ever written, and then the miracles just continued. Part of during those 6 weeks, what started happening is people just coming out of the woodwork to be a part of the book. It's my own story, and then sprinkled through in it are amazing interviews that I've had. It was, like, thing after thing. People just coming through in these beautiful conversations that really inform us about how death isn't the end. It's just the next chapter in our book of eternity. And when we understand that, it better informs how we live our lives with more passion, more fullness, more kindness. It was like 1 again, 1 thing after another, I got done.

Stephanie James [00:25:43]:
I wrote a 78 page book proposal in 2 weeks, which my book coach says was unheard of. Literally had 1 of the most phenomenal literary agents, Lisa Hagen. Someone said you 2 need to meet. We met. I signed the contract that day, and so it's not just comforting our souls. It's how to live our lives, how to experience the fullness of all of it. How do we live our lives in authentic expression? And through it all, let go of our fear of death, Befriend death by even more deeply befriending our lives. So that's been the miracle.

Stephanie James [00:26:25]:
Wow.

Sandy Kovach  [00:26:25]:
Well, definitely. And we know about eternal life and heaven and, you know, as Christians, you know, we read a a lot about that and we are comforted, but I I don't think that we necessarily grasp it. Do you know what I mean? We still live our lives day to day as if it's just our life, and it's only this world.

Lanée Blaise [00:26:47]:
Versus like that like doing the other components with the emotions, actually looking at it, like not being afraid to face the whole concept of what happens after what happens after. I'll just put it that, you

Sandy Kovach  [00:27:00]:
know, and

Lanée Blaise [00:27:01]:
and and being open to all the the extra things that God has for it because I really just think that a book like this is gonna be very helpful, you know, to help not just soothe us but to, like you said, to make us really be more intentional about the life that we live now. But it also makes me think, was there, out of curiosity, some period of stillness or pause that you had before you wrote the book? Because the way you explained it, everything went so fast and so smooth and so orderly and so divinely orchestrated that it makes me wonder, was there possibly some little chunk of time right before where things were churning and you didn't know they were? Can you tell a little bit about the pre part? You know, for those of us who are who are waiting for this beautiful thing to happen in our lives, and we can look back later and say, oh, wait. We it was right around the corner. We didn't realize it, and we were in maybe a a more of a quiet or paused time period.

Stephanie James [00:28:03]:
Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think that we never know. Again, like, we never know what miracles await us. You know, when I talk to my clients too, I say, you know, we're all special and not special at all, and I'm special and not special at all. My experience is both of those. You know? And so truly, I mean and it can happen to anyone. I feel like what had been leading up to that, I have had the last 3 years have been a lot of inner soul work and really taking my spiritual practice to a deeper level.

Stephanie James [00:28:35]:
So much more meditation, being willing to really, you know, go into places that still needed healing and letting God, letting the divine work. So not only meditation, but I was doing this, like, meditative healing practice also with a therapist, and I just feel like those things were all just, like, prepping, because that's part of the thing I think about too. I think of us as conduits. So we're conduits of this divine spark. And so if we notice that there's a cobweb, if we notice there's something that's getting in the way of this conduit being clear, then I want to address it. You know? And as a practitioner and as a as someone who helps others to heal, you better believe I'm gonna do my own work. None of us are exempt from this life experience. The painful things, you know, that I went through as a child or went through in my life, those are things that if they come up, then I wanna do that work.

Stephanie James [00:29:33]:
And so that's what I was doing, Lanee, ahead of time for 3 years and then even maybe 6 months leading up to that moment where I just was really continuing to try to that's my daily practice too. You know? Aligning with the divine. That's, you know, something I do in the morning before I even get out of bed. I have 1 hand on my heart and 1 hand on my belly, and I'm lying there, and I just really connect. I call God the divine, so that's that's interchangeable so people know. Yeah. But for me, 1 of the things I'm doing is I surrender everything in the morning. So I go through and I notice if there's a place I'm kinda clinging like, okay, god.

Stephanie James [00:30:14]:
You know, I surrender my job and I surrender this, but I'm gonna cling to this part of my relationship right now. You know? And and and so it's that practice of, like, total surrender and just really trusting. And so we can relax. You know? So we begin this practice more and more. We begin to relax and to, like, to really trust, you know, that I can't always see the divine plan. And when I try to make my will happen, goodness knows, that is not gonna work out great. So Yeah. I find the more I surrender, the more I'm opening up this conduit for more divine love to flow to me and through me.

Lanée Blaise [00:30:55]:
That's almost dropped the mic right there. Let's see. Sandy, you have any other questions before we talk about how we can get in touch with Stephanie?

Sandy Kovach  [00:31:05]:
Yeah, I just have 1 more. This is kind of a different 1 because a lot of the questions I had, you sort of answered as as we went along. But I want to just talk 1 second about fulfilling your life at work like a lot of our lives are at work. Fortunately for Lanee and I and for you, we have jobs that we really love and enjoy. But if somebody is in a job that pays good money, pays the bills, whatever, whatever, they're in the job, but it's not really for them. Is there a way that they can make that feel like it they can have a spark even in that job?

Stephanie James [00:31:44]:
It's so interesting that you bring this up, Sandy, because I literally just had this talk maybe a week ago with my youngest daughter. She is brilliant. I mean, she's this treasury analyst, you know, very different, Lanee right brained person. She doesn't necessarily love her job. It pays incredible money, but it's it's a desk job where she's crunching numbers and dealing with, you know, these huge multi multimillion dollar budgets, and there's a lot of pressure. So what we've talked about are ways for her to infuse her day with meaning, purpose, and she's very intentional about it. She already has been, and this the conversation we had was just kind of, you know, what can you do as a hobby on the side that might bring light to your life, which is wonderful. Like, right now, she just went in this weekend, got a bicycle.

Stephanie James [00:32:39]:
Now the weather is really good, but part of the ways that she takes care of herself, every day she's committed. At lunch, she takes a walk. It's 1 of the ways she, again, gets herself outside, takes care of nature, and she is doing things. I love I love this analogy of us as a computer only in this way. If you think about yourself as a computer, think about what you're downloading every day. That is going to matter. What are you listening to? What are you reading? What are you speaking to people about? And so you that's what you do have control over. You can choose those things that are life giving.

Stephanie James [00:33:15]:
You can choose to have a gratitude practice in the morning. And, again, like I said earlier, do them throughout the day. I used to love Thich Nhat Hanh, who was 1 of the great peace activists of our time. He lived in this place Plum Village, and random times throughout the day, they'd ring these bells. And whenever the bells were rung, everyone in the village stopped and took 3 conscious breaths. I love that. That is a reset. Right? That is like okay.

Stephanie James [00:33:49]:
I think those are things that help infuse your day, and they can be little things too. Like, literally, we all have our little glass of water beside us. Before you take a glass of water or sip of water, you can do it intentionally. You can literally say, dear god, bless this water. And then as you drink it, imagine that. Just take a moment to actually feel the sensation of the water going into you. You know, it it's just like you could I hope that answers your question, Sandy. Oh, and more.

Stephanie James [00:34:20]:
Reminders.

Lanée Blaise [00:34:22]:
Absolutely. Yeah. That's refreshing our souls with a sip of water even. And that is an act of gratitude to God as well. That's the everyday you certainly answered that.

Sandy Kovach  [00:34:36]:
And and, marinating. That was the other thing, marinating on gratitude that I'm gonna take as opposed to just saying, oh, I'm grateful for my family. Sit there and marinate on how cool members of your family are your relationship. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:34:51]:
Because time time is important. Yeah. Sit with it. Yeah.

Stephanie James [00:34:55]:
Well, yeah. And neurologically, it takes 18 to 30 seconds for something to stick because we have these brains that have a natural negativity bias. And so you could think of it as, like, negative experiences, negative thoughts. It's like Velcro in the brain. But positive thoughts, positive experiences, those are like 2 fried eggs on a Teflon pan. They just slide right out. So in order to give that gratitude some stickability, I call it, you wanna marinate on it. Exactly.

Stephanie James [00:35:23]:
You know? Hold it in your heart and feel it, and then it's taking root. And the cool thing is when you take time to do that, so whatever we focus on expands and your mind will naturally start noticing more of that.

Sandy Kovach  [00:35:39]:
Oh, man. That's a good 1.

Lanée Blaise [00:35:40]:
That's the nugget. That's our takeaway right there. We always have a little takeaway moment, but that right there is powerful. And and the combination of, yeah, the timing of holding onto it, you said 18 to 30 seconds or more, if you like, to really hold that positivity. Wow. How can people reach out to you if they you know, to get your book, you mentioned the film, to have transformation coaching or psychotherapy with you or find all of your wonderful posts on social media, all the good stuff.

Stephanie James [00:36:12]:
Thank you. You know, they can access everything, all of those things. There's a link for you can watch a trailer for the film, and there's also ways you can access the film, you know, my books, my events. You know, I do retreats all around the world. I do have a new film series that we already are done filming and now working at getting out in the world, named after my second book, Becoming Fierce, which is gonna be a 6 part series. And so all of those things, and some resources to actually a download for everybody, PDF of the 3 C's, so they could just print that out if they want it. That's all on stephaniejames.world.stephaniejames.world.

Lanée Blaise [00:36:54]:
Mhmm. Stephanie James dot world. That is an all in 1 place. That is perfect. Sandy, you got anything else you wanna ask before we?

Sandy Kovach  [00:37:02]:
No. I just would say go to Stephanie's website because there's a little something for everyone. If you're if you're visual, you know, you got the film, and Stephanie's new book will be out soon. But do you have other books as well that are available?

Stephanie James [00:37:16]:
Yeah. So, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, wherever people get their books. My first book was the spark, igniting your best life, and the second book with a forward from Natalie Ledwell, who is just a phenomenal woman in this world, who's done a lot of work with Joe Dispenza and does mind movies. That book, Becoming Fierce, is my latest book from 2 years ago. Yeah. You can get those books anywhere.

Lanée Blaise [00:37:40]:
And, of course, to listen to our your podcast as well. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Igniting the spark is Stephanie James.

Stephanie James [00:37:45]:
Your podcast.

Lanée Blaise [00:37:47]:
Which I'm grateful. I was 1 of the people that who got to join you on there. So take a listen for, you know, Lanee Blaise on there. Just go through and take a look. Even, like you said, Neale Donald Walsch, I listen to a lot of your podcast episodes, and a lot of them, to be fair, are about people who have a creative spark to them. And like you said, creative meaning lots of different things in the art, media, you know, authors, all that. But we just encourage you to take a look at everything. We wanna thank you for being on here too, Stephanie.

Stephanie James [00:38:18]:
Thank you both so much. What a what a joy and what a honor just to be with you both.

Sandy Kovach  [00:38:24]:
And we'll put all the links on, our website on the blog for, your episode and also in the show notes. So the podcast and then your website with the links to everything else we talked about. Because if I tried to remember all of the stuff you've done, yeah. I need to marinate on it. So Exactly. Oh, I

Stephanie James [00:38:43]:
love it.

Lanée Blaise [00:38:44]:
So, yeah, we just want to round out by saying, imagine yourself taking that pause to make sure that you are treating every day as another special part of your life journey and that you really make use of the 3 c's and you begin to understand every day that you are here, that there is something special for you to share. There is something special for you to connect with and that God will help you to find that spark that you need to get through this life and connect with others. Thanks for listening.

Sandy Kovach  [00:39:23]:
So glad you could spend a little time with us and all the information, all the links, and whatnot will be in our show notes and at imagine yourself podcast.com. We'd love your feedback too. You can do that through the website, or you can leave us a review or a rating. Until next time when we have something new to imagine. Take care.