Moving From Fears to Fierce (w/Mindset Coach Grace Brown)

On paper, fear is described as “alarm or apprehension.” In and of itself, fear isn’t a bad thing; in fact, we have what’s called a fight-flight-freeze response that is a natural reaction to danger. With some things, though, this “danger” is more in our own minds, and fear can put a hard stop to our dreams and goals. Getting past them isn’t easy, so we called on an expert. Grace Brown has some marvelous methods to conquer our fears and move us from “fears to fierce”.

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Grace is a Momentum Mindset Coach and is affectionately known as ‘Coach G'. She’s here to help us get “unstuck in life, love or career, to create forward positive momentum to reach our fullest potential”! Grace knows a thing or two about overcoming not just fears, but incredibly harsh life circumstances. Her bio says, “I scrambled my way out of holes like homelessness and toxic relationships with job hopping and heartbreak.” You’ll want to check out all of her inspiring story. Now on the other side of so many struggles, she’s here to help lift us up. 

Fears can affect our jobs, relationships, family life and happiness in general. In this episode we focus on how to deal with both deep and day to day fears in a practical way. 

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Imagine Yourself is hosted by Lanée Blaise and Sandy Kovach. Lanée is a TV writer and producer, motivational speaker and podcaster. Sandy is a radio personality, voiceover artist and podcaster. They come to you from the Detroit Metro area and invite guests from all over the world to help encourage you in your health, career, faith journey and more!

Transcript

Lanée Blaise [00:00:01]:

Welcome to Imagine Yourself where we are not afraid to tackle the big issue of fear, We're your host, Lanee and Sandy. Do you ever think back to when you were a little kid? Maybe you were afraid of monsters under your bed or being laughed at by all of your peers. But now that we're all grown up, we have different fears, the what if type of fears. What if I fail? What if I lose? What if I try it and I suck? We invited Grace Brown, the momentum mindset at coach. We call her Coach G, and she has valuable tips to help us face our fears, helping us get unstuck stuck in life, love, or career so that we can all reach our fullest potential. I feel like coach g is gonna fly in here with her cape and help us to reimagine our lives. We wanna welcome you, coach g.

Grace Brown [00:00:58]:

Hey, ladies. How are you? Nice to meet you.

Sandy Kovach  [00:01:01]:

Nice to meet you too. So we see this quote online a lot, and it's powerful. It's fear. F-E-A-R can mean 2 things, forget everything and run Or face everything and rise. So how do we get beyond, the quote to start living something like that?

Grace Brown [00:01:21]:

That's a great question, Sandy. Getting past it being from a quote to real life is, 1, Accepting the fact that you're never going to get rid of fear. Fear is always gonna be a part of our lives, and we need to have fear. Because if you think back to the caveman days, you know, in order To survive, they listened out for sort of noises in the bushes, if it was a saber toothed tiger, if it was an elephant that was gonna come trample them. We still have that same brain, you know, thousands of years later, that same kind of noise, and we don't know if it's someone breaking into our home. We still Use fear today in this way. It will be different for different people, especially depending on your mindset, if you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. And I'll speak more to the growth one because that's the direction I like to get my clients first.

Grace Brown [00:02:09]:

If you're facing the fear and you have this growth mindset, You can use fear as a barometer. You can use fear as an indicator of the very next thing you do or the very thing to overcome. Fear lets you know what there is to overcome. For example, let's say it's public speaking. So you're afraid to speak publicly, and so people think, well, I'm not afraid of that because we think public speaking or thinking on a stage or on TV or something like that, but public speaking also includes meeting the in laws.

Grace Brown [00:02:37]:

And to be afraid of that. Right?

Lanée Blaise [00:02:39]:

Yeah. That's a big one.

Grace Brown [00:02:41]:

Going to the first, you know, family reunion or going to the first In law, when you're a plus one and you're like, oh my goodness. I'm gonna meet his family or friends, that's essentially public speaking. Another example of public speaking could be where women get stuck in their career because that position that they actually want will require them to do presentations. There's many different examples and many different instances where we are public speaking and that fear can show up. So that's why I let people know, hey. The very thing that you're afraid of, Work on that. Yes. I'll use myself as an example of public speaking in the workplace.

Grace Brown [00:03:18]:

I had this position and found out that we have to do these Quarterly business review in front of VPs, and the presentation was gonna be shared, you know, with presidents and this and that. And it was like, oh my goodness. You know? And I had never done that before. So I was afraid to speak publicly or afraid to speak in front of them. And what if I don't know what I'm talking about, or what if I don't have the numbers right? What if I start talking in circles? Because I tend to talk in circles. Or what if I notice something or somebody gives me a look or something, and maybe I'm saying something wrong? Because Our brain takes in 2,000,000 bits of information per second. You can be speaking to a crowd, and you may lock eyes with that 1 person who's looking at you sideways or so you think, And they just may have gas, or they're thinking about what they're gonna eat, or they probably, you know, saw they have a text notification from There are kids' school, and they can't answer it right away. They can't step away right away.

Grace Brown [00:04:09]:

So they're not even thinking about you, but because that's how we already went to that situation with fear, That's how we're gonna interpret that look. So those are some of the fears that I had. I was really concerned about not knowing what I was talking about. Fear can be an indicator of the very thing you need to work on. And once you overcome that, then you essentially overcome at least that aspect of the fear. And so By being concerned about not knowing what I was talking about, I did more research then. And then as you do more research and more homework and you become more competent, Then with that competence, you become more confident, and that creates the competence confidence loop. And then you get over the fear of Not knowing what you're talking about because you've done your research.

Grace Brown [00:04:47]:

Also, when it comes to locking eyes with somebody who may throw you off, especially a very visual person, Make that connection with somebody who is giving you that nonverbal positive feedback. That can encourage you, like, okay. I'm saying something right. I'm doing the right thing. You can even have somebody in the audience that, you know, is on your team, and they're that person you can look at, and they're giving you that thumbs up or that wink or something letting you know that you're on the right track, they're letting you know that the audience is oohing and aahing and that they're getting it right and that you're doing a good job. And then, you know, of course, you're gonna hear things like practice and rehearse. And because all that's out there, that's why I'm not even touching on that.

Grace Brown [00:05:25]:

I like to get a little bit deeper. Yeah. So that's an example of, like, you know, overcoming fear of public speaking. And then again, if we were to go to the relationship one, right, again, kind of the research. I know even for myself, meeting my partner's parents, there's things that I picked up After being with him for a while that I picked up about his parents that he probably didn't realize I remember. I even remembered the birthdays. And he was like, how did you know that?

Lanée Blaise [00:05:49]:

Because you mentioned it.

Grace Brown [00:05:51]:

Yeah. All those different things. And and, again, going back to research or ultimately preparation, going back to that confidence confidence loop, and that's a a really great to overcome.

Sandy Kovach  [00:06:00]:

I love those 2 examples because just over the last weekend, I was in front of a bunch of my husband's family, and I was A little bit of an outsider, people that I hadn't met before, some that I had met before. I'm contrasting that to the other example you gave of Public speaking where I am not afraid. I have emceed concerts and stuff and been in front of, like, a whole stadium. But being in front of a family and saying the wrong thing of people who are important to me freaks me out more. So I love all of that, and I think it's so personal. Yes. But it sounds like you're kinda saying these fears can affect our relationship with our partner.

Grace Brown [00:06:39]:

Yeah. You're exactly right. Something that we have to keep in mind is Our partner can have a much different mindset than what we have. And, and while we're on our own, you know, mindset master journeys, it's also important to understand, You know, as much as we can of our partner's mindset as well, whether or not they have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset, also, we have to consider how much value we place On the relationship itself, we have to build ourselves up. We have to build up our self worth. We have To understand our mindset, understand our blockages, what's keeping us stuck, we have to value ourselves and realize that this person is a compliment to us. They don't complete us. They compliment us.

Grace Brown [00:07:20]:

Right?

Sandy Kovach  [00:07:20]:

So not a Jerry Maguire thing. You complete me?

Grace Brown [00:07:25]:

It should be a compliment. Not with you. Yeah. And recognizing what you bring to the relationship, And that means bringing something to the relationship. I'm a firm believer in always bringing value to anyone and ever leaving people better off than the way you found them.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:43]:

That Yeah. That works for love and career as far as, you know, being willing to contribute and serve others. I've I've seen that in your Post on Instagram as far as making sure that you want to serve others well, that brings joy and competence to your Self again too in that confidence confidence loop. All of these things I'm starting to realize, you've mentioned that it has to do with our mindset and our wiring and our brains. I know that our hearts are very important, but our brains are also Really interesting because many times, we will seek out what we expect. And if we expect Good things, whether it be in a relationship, in a partner, in a job, in ourselves, then we will continue to find evidence that that is correct. When we switch our mindset over to searching for The good things that we have to offer, the good things that a potential partner has to offer, the good things that our career does provide, I feel that that is really a plus. But then when it comes to fears, sometimes there's this fear of not being enough.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:55]:

In my case, personally, mine is really my biggest fear besides, like, snakes. But my biggest you know, I've got the fear of snakes, whatever. That I'm not around to these snakes here. But, but my big fear is that I will look incompetent or just plain stupid. And that I won't know enough. And that even with preparation, I'm going to get stumped by some question that I just don't know. And I started to realize I talked to my daughter. She's only 20 years old, but she's got a lot of wisdom packed in there.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:28]:

And she said, Mom, nobody knows exactly what they're doing. Everybody's winging big huge chunks of their life. You know? They may be an expert in one particular field, but they're not an expert in everything. And you just learn more like you mentioned coach g. You try to prepare yourself, but also there is nothing wrong with whether you're in a gathering with family or whether you're on stage or whether you're in a meeting to say, that is a very interesting question. I've never really looked at it from that angle. I'm gonna have to get back with you on that and, you know, do a little more research. I feel that's totally acceptable.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:06]:

And if we give ourselves that space and that understanding, it's all good. We're humans.

Grace Brown [00:10:13]:

Yes. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:14]:

That's what I just keep thinking from everything that you've been saying.

Grace Brown [00:10:17]:

But, yeah, you know, even for myself coming into the coaching space virtually, Early 2020, you know, you could still get away with referrals and word-of-mouth, but then by midyear, everything is shut down and you have to go virtual. I'm like, I don't know anything about social media, but it's like that's the direction things are going. Even, you know, the big boys in the game, they're having a pivot. Everyone's having a pivot. For me, it's like videos and posts. What? You know? And, what if it doesn't make sense? And then I realized, you know what? Even with watching videos and being webinars and seminars in different summits online and watching others' audio issues, I would see those happen.

Sandy Kovach  [00:10:57]:

Yeah. You're on mute. Yep. You know How many times do we hear that in a Zoom meeting? Right?

Grace Brown [00:11:01]:

Or someone forgetting what they were gonna say. And it's like, what? This is a big shot, but it just goes to show that We are human, like you said, and we should have some grace and compassion for ourselves. And the more you work with people, the more you realize that we are so perfectly imperfect. For sure.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:17]:

I love it.

Sandy Kovach  [00:11:18]:

One of my favorite quotes is do it afraid. And you made that point. Fear is natural. But, like, you were talking about with social media and like Lanee was talking about as well, you know, whether she has All of her preparation done. Sometimes we just have to step out and do it afraid, or otherwise, nothing gets done. And I talked about, I think, earlier, How I can go up, and introduce a band in concert, but that's only because I've done it over and over and over and over. But when I was first doing it, I would get So scared that I I thought I couldn't move. And I also read about Sheryl Crowe, that she used to have stage fright so that when she would get on stage and perform, she would look at her shoes.

Sandy Kovach  [00:12:04]:

She couldn't look out at the audience.

Grace Brown [00:12:06]:

And I love that, do it afraid. I've seen that as well. And just to really, really quickly touch on that, fear can show up as procrastination because we're afraid of looking stupid, and so we'll put off doing something and It'll never get done, and as a recovering wannabe perfectionist myself, you know, it would take me forever. If I would've stuck to my old mindset, I would, in the past, wanna have everything perfect, do all the courses, do all the things, know everything, get Every trinket, everything, and, oh, I'm prepared. I'm ready. But the more you know, then the more you realize you don't know, and you're never prepared. And so I realized if I don't just do it, just put myself out there, it will never get done.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:50]:

Because from my perspective this is the other cool part. When other people are looking at your life, many times they're much more forgiving than we might be ourselves. Because when I looked at your Videos that you posted, the messages that you posted, the information, I just fell in love with you as far as Your kindness, your your name, your grace, you know, it just was something that I saw all the wonderful bells and whistles going off. And that part, again, where your intention was to serve those people who are following you. I mean, I guess I have to take a minute real quick and just say, please, We absolutely recommend anyone who's listening, stop for a second. And right after this, make sure that you do follow at the momentum mindset coach. That says it all. The momentum mindset coach, making sure we're pushing our mindset in a forward momentum spot.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:47]:

I see all the good things.

Grace Brown [00:13:49]:

Thank you, dear. All the razzle dazzle. And that's what I meant by we wouldn't be talking now because you saw On Instagram, had I just not did it afraid and push past that procrastination, having to know it all, having to be perfect, I probably would've never gotten started.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:02]:

So we have reached that part of our episode called takeaway time where we wanna make sure we take away the most valuable Parts of this lesson, we're gonna ask coach g her opinion. But for me, I just wanna make sure that everyone will please remember this. Remember this for yourself and for your loved ones. When you are trying to overcome your fears effectively, it really is going to depend on how you are wired. And some things that you see as fun or easy to accomplish might be extremely scary for someone else and vice versa. I mean, we mentioned public speaking. There could be swimming, riding on a roller coaster. It could be as simple as Opening your heart to someone, letting down some of those walls within a relationship, starting to look for a new job.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:56]:

There's all kinds of things. And some people just that's nothing to them. Or in your case, it might be nothing to you, but it's really Stressful and brings a lot of anxiety for others. So I just want to remind you all to give yourself and give your loved ones some grace. And, of course, if you can't seem to do it alone, then you call someone like Grace Brown, and you Go ahead and get that help from her. So, Grace, again and everyone knows you can look at our imagine yourself podcast, Our website, we're gonna have links to Grace Brown, the momentum mindset coach, and that's where she is at Instagram. Also, can you just tell us where you are as far as Facebook, about your website, and about a wonderful fears to fears checklist that you mentioned to us earlier before the show.

Grace Brown [00:15:49]:

So my Instagram and Facebook handle is at the momentum mindset Coach, you can also check out momentum coaching with grace.com, and I also have free resources there as well, including a Fears to Fear checklist. Kind of a snapshot of, how to overcome those surface level fears. If you wanna take it another level deeper, I also offer laser coaching, unlimited laser coaching, unlimited 15 minute sessions each month, And I can also answer, any questions. Or, you know, if you are preparing for a speech or, you know, anything that you're preparing, you wanna get over a little fear, a little anxiety, need a little help talking through it, I'm there for you.

Sandy Kovach  [00:16:30]:

Sweet. Yeah. I could definitely see that. You know, you got a big presentation or something coming up, just a little session with Grace.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:37]:

To get you back on track. What do you want everyone to use as their big takeaway from today's episode? What's that Juicy piece of advice that they can really use to make going from fierce to fierce their reality.

Grace Brown [00:16:55]:

Embrace your fear. Don't worry about getting everything perfect. Don't let fears paralyze you, but really lean into those fears. They give you clues as to what to overcome as next steps. Really use your fears as a guidance.

Lanée Blaise [00:17:09]:

We truly want to thank you for sharing your wisdom, coach g. We, of course, have links to you on our imagine yourself podcast .com website. We encourage, again, everyone to follow you on all the different platforms and to really enhance your own growth mindset. Overall, imagine yourself physically, emotionally, even spiritually talking yourself and walking yourself through these things that have scared you, that have held you back, and just finally Facing it all, truly going from fears to fears.

Sandy Kovach  [00:17:44]:

And fierce friends, let's hear how you're doing. Connect with us on our website or social media. Imagine yourself podcast .com will have all the links. Hope you'll subscribe at Apple Podcasts, Google, or Spotify, wherever you're listening, And please give us a rating. Let us know how you like Imagine Yourself. It also helps us reach other people when you do that. We thank you for being a part of the Imagine Yourself It's all family and hope that we can help you imagine the next chapter of your life with grace, gratitude, courage, and faith.