Creating a Realistic Happily Ever After (w/Author Mary Lewis)

What does it take to be in love with and stay in love with the person of your dreams? Spoiler alert: it takes more than just a magical kiss from a stranger who claims to be your one true love! 

Finding true love and holding onto that love is deep and complex but not impossible. We decided to bring in an expert on the subject to help us define how much of this process starts with us.

 Our Guest, Mary Lewis is the Author of The Princess Chronicles, Happily Ever After:  A Journey to Love. She makes sure to balance those fairy tale ideals with some practical advice by focusing on wholeness, self-discovery, and one’s purpose. She shines a spotlight on the fact that lasting love requires a good, long, realistic look at oneself and one’s past. She beautifully outlines the exact areas that tend to trip us up while also providing the precise ways to prevent those pitfalls.  If you’re looking for or already in a relationship, and if you’re ready for the truth, mixed with grace and love, then this is the episode for you. 

 Laugh a little and learn a little as we share our personal love stories and listen to the steps and strategies from Mary Lewis’ book.

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Imagine Yourself is hosted by Lanée Blaise and Sandy Kovach. Lanée is a TV writer and producer, motivational speaker and podcaster. Sandy is a radio personality, voiceover artist and podcaster. They come to you from the Detroit Metro area and invite guests from all over the world to help encourage you in your health, career, faith journey and more!

Transcript

Lanée Blaise [00:00:00]:

Welcome to Imagine Yourself with Lanee and Sandy. Today, we're gonna share something with you that has been a huge influence in all of our lives, and I bet you've never even noticed it until now. It's fairy tales. Let me yeah. Fairy tale. Let Let me explain it, though. Let me explain myself. Let's reach back deep into your childhood where we have, once upon a time, there lived a lady named Cinderella or Rapunzel or Ariel or Jasmine or Tiana, maybe even Diana or Meghan, who fell madly in love With a prince charming or prince Charles or prince Harry, they got married, and they lived happily ever After.

Sandy Kovach  [00:00:45]:

Well, we know that's not always true.

Lanée Blaise [00:00:47]:

No. It's one of those or, did they? Because I just wanna say today, anyone who wants to be in a relationship, who's already in a relationship but who really wants to think of this as a realistic way to have a happily ever after, then you have come to the right place. We want you to lean in as we talk about all of these love related issues with our guest, Mary Lewis, who is the author of The Princess Chronicles, Happily Ever After, A Journey to Love. She, like many of us, grew up watching those princess movies, but she decided to write and Speak on issues that are important to women, and her practical insight will help us all succeed in life, purpose, self discovery, and even that big one that's not so easy, which is love. So we just want to say welcome to the magical land of Imagine Yourself, Mary. We wanna Thank you for joining Sandy and myself.

Mary Lewis [00:01:48]:

Absolutely. Hello. That was awesome.

Lanée Blaise [00:01:51]:

Just wanted to have a little fun, but also wanted to really dig into it and ask important questions to see where do we all fit in with this happily ever after thing in real life.

Mary Lewis [00:02:02]:

For sure. I think to your point, I was really inspired by my own dating faux pas to kind of Write this story just to help women who are like me try and figure it out.

Sandy Kovach  [00:02:15]:

Do you think when we grow up with the fairy tales. The Disney princesses, you know, whoever, the stories, the prince charming, come sweep us off our feet. Does that set us up for expectations and disappointment in adulthood?

Mary Lewis [00:02:26]:

It absolutely does. Truly, my perception of romance and falling in love was, like, in 90 to A 120 minutes. I'm gonna meet the man of my dreams. I'm gonna be rescued. He's gonna be everything that I need. I'm gonna get married, have 2 kids and live happily ever after. And so I bought into that fairy tale, good, bad, or indifferent. I bought into it, And that was my expectation going into dating relationships.

Sandy Kovach  [00:02:57]:

And it gets a little more complicated than that. Right?

Mary Lewis [00:02:59]:

Way more complicated Then that and so when I started asking myself questions after a couple of bad relationships, it was like, okay. Where did I get this idea from? And it took me back to, oh, I was watching these princess movies, and I bought into this idea of happily ever after not really understanding. As I began to watch the movies again in my adult life, you know, that these relationships are really complex.

Lanée Blaise [00:03:26]:

Okay. Because Everything that you're saying, I'm kind of right with you, and there's an added layer, though. What about this? Did you ever think about I know there's a lot of women out there listening- people, period, who think I have it all together in my career. I have it all together in my Fitness training and and the way that I live my life, why can't I get it all together magically or easily With my romantic love life, can you speak to that a little bit? Because when I read your book, every single Chapter seems to highlight a different area because every one of us has some issue or has some area, has some Catch that we might need to work on. And just like people work on their fitness and work on their career, do people need to work on their Insides to get the love part right?

Mary Lewis [00:04:11]:

Absolutely. And I think for women, innately, we're fixers. We're able to Pull things together and make it work. And so I think that's 1 kind of fairy tale that we've grown up buying into. And we also because we we are fixers innately, I think we feel that we can fix our relationships once we're in them, Not understanding when we truly look at each and every one of these princess stories, they had to go through some stuff. And that's one of the things that really kind of opened up to me is that they had to go through some things. They dealt with rejection. They dealt with fear.

Mary Lewis [00:04:55]:

They dealt with issues of abandonment and jealousy and all of these things. And how can you go into a relationship? I mean, you can, but why would you want to go into a relationship not being whole? Because we've been taught 2 people coming together make a whole person. No. If you don't deal with the trauma from your past that affects your relationships, if you don't know who you are and you get into a relationship, You're always chasing this idea of happy happily ever after. It never becomes a reality for you because you haven't done the work. You haven't put in the work to make yourself better. Happily ever after starts here. Right?

Sandy Kovach  [00:05:42]:

She's pointing at herself.

Mary Lewis [00:05:44]:

It starts with you. It starts with me. I can't look to a man to Deal with abandonment issues if I don't address those issues. Right? And so as women, we have to Be whole, and I fundamentally believe that we have to be whole before we could even consider entering a relationship. We have to know who we are Before we can even enter into a relationship, I think I was sharing with Lanee a couple weeks ago, if you don't know who you are, How is your prince gonna be able to find you because it's the fraudulent you showing up in that relationship? Right?

Sandy Kovach  [00:06:22]:

It's your representative.

Sandy Kovach  [00:06:25]:

When you're dating, you send your representative out on those dates. And but it doesn't do any good. Right? You do And say things to be liked and to make the best impression on whoever it is, you know, you're on that date with. Okay? I wanna Come across as the perfect likable person for this person. That's so not you. If that progresses and ends up into a Marriage, that's gonna cause problems down the line.

Mary Lewis [00:06:48]:

It will. And and you're disappointed because the person that is Attracted to you isn't attracted to you. He's attracted to Your representative. He's attracted to your representative.

Sandy Kovach  [00:07:02]:

That's right. I've definitely been guilty of that myself.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:04]:

Can I interject with the personal thing? Because everything that You're telling me it's hitting me on all cylinders. And like I said, everybody has their own thing and their own particular Issue that's hitting them a certain way, but mine, when I grew up, I actually I watched those princess movies, but I did not believe in those princess fairy tales. I saw how my parents had struggled with marriage. I saw divorce up close. And when I was 16 years old, I decided three things. I was never gonna be submissive. In fact, I was gonna be super strong and mean to make sure. Yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:43]:

I told my mother. I I said I am going to be mean so that my husband will never try to control me and so that I can get my way every time. And she's like, oh, dear. And then I told her number 2, I am totally fine if I get divorced because I could just try again the 2nd round and, you know, have my kids I was That situation I know. Go visit my dad on the weekend and come back home my mom on a weekday. No problem. Because the ultimate goal was my number 3, which My mother said, Lynnae, please don't run with this. I said, no.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:13]:

I'm gonna do this. Remember, I'm only 16 years old. I said, I do not need to fall head over heels in love with any man like they do in the little princess movies. My goal is to make sure he loves me more than I love him so that I won't get hurt. Oh, That was not Wow. And I wonder I wonder if people who are listening may have ever had that type of thinking and not necessarily verbalized it. I mean, I completely verbalized it. But some people I wonder if it's an internal monologue And it's dangerous because, spoiler alert, I did get married.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:55]:

I do actually love my husband a whole lot, and I think we love each other equal. But, I didn't Go into it like that. I had to learn that while I was on the job.

Mary Lewis [00:09:06]:

On a job.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:07]:

Right. Right. So that's Learn as I go.

Mary Lewis [00:09:10]:

You said something key. What you saw, the fairy tale that was playing right out in front of your life, You didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like. And so because of that, you created your own fairy tale world, so to speak. And so the first thing that I feel that, as women, we have to do is we have to go back to the past and really address That stuff. There are people in my family who have been married and divorced, married and divorced, married and divorced, And have said, I will never be hurt again. Do they have the right to feel that way? Absolutely. But if you live your life Expecting to get hurt, you will. Because you haven't forgiven.

Mary Lewis [00:09:55]:

Forgiveness is huge. It's a huge part Of this idea of happily ever after. Because if you don't deal with the stuff from your past, it's gonna show up in every single Relationship. It might not show up blatantly, but it will show up in, I know he loves me, But I don't think he loves me enough because I said any man that I fall in love with is gonna have to love me more than I love him. And so you take that into that relationship with you, and that's the foundation of the relationship. So if he doesn't Express love to you in the way that you feel that you deserve it or need it, which is another kind of conversation altogether, You will become disappointed because he doesn't know what your expectation is and what your lived experience is, But he is being held responsible for it. And when you are expecting something from someone and they don't know what that expectation is, they will disappoint you.

Sandy Kovach  [00:11:00]:

So looking to a man, looking to a husband, someone in a relationship to solve your problems. So if you felt Rejection or abandonment or some of the other things, Mary, that you mentioned, and you don't deal with that. You're looking for your husband to fill that hole. And in in Lanee's case, not only did she need to be loved on an equal level, but I feel like it and when she was talking, she reminded me and I like to, You know, nineties. Sorry. We're gonna go back to Seinfeld for a second. You guys remember the episode where George breaks up with a girl so he can have what they call hand? She's controlling the relationship, so he breaks up with her. So now all of a sudden, he's the dominant one in the relationship.

Sandy Kovach  [00:11:40]:

Like, in Lanee's world, she would wanna So when they wanted to have hand

Lanée Blaise [00:11:45]:

Get that upper hand so that you are in control whether the you're the woman or the man. My mother said, you're gonna end up being the bully. You're gonna be the one who turns into the exact person you don't want for yourself.

Mary Lewis [00:11:57]:

Mhmm. And that's very true, and that's why you have to deal That stuff. I give the example in the book. My biological father left my mother and I when I was, like, 2 years old. I had seen him maybe 3 times in my entire life. My first relationship with my father was the child support check that he would send my mother every week. The The 2nd time I met my father, he has remarried and adopted 7 children.

Mary Lewis [00:12:24]:

And this is certainly not to bash my father. This is just my story. And then the last time I saw him is when I asked him to walk me down the aisle for my wedding. And A day before, maybe 2 days before, he left me a voice mail message saying that he wasn't gonna be able to walk me down the aisle. And so through my experience with my father, I had dealt with rejection and abandonment and didn't really know it. I believed that there was something wrong with me because my father is supposed to love me. How could he go adopt Children and not take care of me. And so I began to create this story in my mind That carried me into every single relationship that I encountered because I was looking for someone to say You're worth fighting for.

Mary Lewis [00:13:17]:

I was looking for someone to say, I love you. You matter. And I believe that's the heart's cry for every woman, for every daughter. But when you don't get that or when you don't have an understanding, It just came to a point where I was like, this is not about me. It's really about him. He honestly didn't know how to be the man that I needed him to be, the father that I needed him to be. Not saying that he didn't want to. Maybe he didn't have the capacity or the understanding to fill that role For me, that's not my issue.

Mary Lewis [00:13:54]:

That's his. And so oftentimes, I just truly believe that a lot of the hurt that women Experience in relationships is directly related to the relationship that they have with their father, good, bad, or indifferent, Especially those difficult moments between daughter and father. If you don't deal with those things, those things will absolutely Show up in every single relationship that you enter into because you are trying to fill a void.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:22]:

Wow. So everything that I just listened to Mary say made me think about the divorce and everything that I saw in my life with my parents. But I'll tell you what saved me. I ended up going out into the world and I married my grandfather. I have a husband. We're 22 years now. He is exactly like my grandpa Jack, And nobody's perfect. And grandpa Jack, he was not perfect either, but he was a wonderful husband to my grandmother.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:55]:

He loved her. They stayed married for Over 50 years, I was around them a lot. And I think subconsciously, I Found safety in marrying a man who would treat me like grandpa Jack treated my grandmother and my mother and myself and my family. So I wonder if that just gives hope. And by the way, I love my dad. My dad and I have a great relationship. He and my mom, maybe it just it wasn't in the cards for them. But He's a great father for me.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:25]:

I didn't have some of the problems that some daughters have when there's a divorce Yet, I didn't want to marry him. You know? I like him being my dad, but the grandpa. Or sometimes people have an uncle or sometimes even a TV character, Like you were saying with the not the Seinfeld George Costanza. There So there are some TV characters where it's My goodness. It's better than the Disney movies because the TV shows you do get to see the everyday life and challenges. I know it still ends in 30 minutes or whatever. And it's all wrapped up and everybody's happy, but it still gives a little hope for those of us who wonder if it really is Possible whether you're in a relationship and you're having difficulties or if you wanna be in a relationship.

Sandy Kovach  [00:16:11]:

And, Mary, what's the most important thing for you when you like, especially, Now, Lanee and you both came out of situations with divorce, and and yours was a little bit more extreme here because you didn't get to grow up with your dad. So how do you heal from all that? I mean, you've said we've gotta heal, but you've obviously taken the steps.

Mary Lewis [00:16:28]:

Forgiveness. Forgiveness. When we don't forgive, It's like we're shackled. Like, we're in handcuffs, and we're attached to the person that we're holding unforgiveness Against, I had to make a choice to forgive my father. When my husband and I he was my fiance at the time. When we went and Had that conversation with my father. It was just laying it all out on the line. Not angry anymore.

Mary Lewis [00:16:54]:

You have to figure out what was going on with you, But I forgive you, and I meant it. Because I was tired of feeling like there was something wrong with me when I knew Deep down in my heart, I was a good person. I was a great person. And so I had to forgive him. I had to forgive my ex boyfriends, Again, because I didn't know who I was and how the relationship with my father had impacted how I Dated and who I dated, I held them responsible for a role that they were not ready to fill. I had to forgive them, and I literally wrote their names down. I was like, okay. I forgive you for this.

Mary Lewis [00:17:37]:

I forgive you for this. And then I had to forgive myself. And that sounds really silly, but I literally had to go through the same thing. Mary, I forgive you for being tricked. But You are a smart woman. Mary, I forgive you for feeling that you're unworthy because you are worthy. And so I had to forgive my dad. I had to forgive my exes, and then I had to forgive myself.

Mary Lewis [00:18:02]:

At that point, I was ready. I was ready to move forward because I was free from the handcuffs, those emotional, mental handcuffs That held me bondage for so many years. And so that's where you need to start. Whether you're married, engaged, Single. Forgiveness is the first step towards this happily ever after because you can have it. I'm living proof.

Sandy Kovach  [00:18:27]:

And sometimes you might need to rely on your faith a little bit because that's a pretty big ask in some people's cases, the forgiveness.

Mary Lewis [00:18:34]:

It is. And, you know, I had gotten to the point in this whole forgiveness process where it was either gonna be God or or I was in a specific relationship that literally looking back on it now and as a Christian and as a person of faith. I know it was the enemy trying to take me right out of here because I had stopped eating, I stopped drinking, and I was ready to die. And it was God, if you say if you are who you say you are, you better come do it for me, and you better come do it for me right now. And he did it. And he restored me. And I mentioned that in the book. It's not a faith based book.

Mary Lewis [00:19:14]:

Right? It's who I am. But at the end, I said it would be disingenuous if I didn't give people the opportunity to accept Christ, Because that's the truest, for me anyway. Yeah. That was the truest of loves that I needed that really transformed me. And so to not make that a part of my book and a part of my ex it was very much a part of my experience. So, yeah, forgiveness is huge, But the relationship with Jesus allows you to do that.

Sandy Kovach  [00:19:44]:

Right. Because that's the whole basis of Christianity. Right?

Lanée Blaise [00:19:47]:

Mhmm. It also makes me think everything you're saying with the love, with the forgiveness, with the faith, there is a divine order to things in this life. And the Bible says, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. And it makes me think about kinda like that look first inside yourself. Look first inside your soul. Look first at the way God loves you and the way God has created you, and all these other things will be added unto you after you do that. And like Sandy said, faith is so important to help you on that path of forgiveness And to help you on that path of you said it best, Mary, when you said that sometimes you can have an understanding that the person didn't have the Capacity at that time to be the person that they, quote, unquote, should've been or definitely that you would've needed them to be. But None of us is perfect.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:52]:

God loves us through those imperfections and we can with boundaries, of course, forgive people and release it and unshackle ourselves. I love that analogy that you gave also, unshackle ourselves from some of that pain and putting that on new people because that's Another one too. I this one personally my husband had to tell me 1 month into marriage. Lanee, I am not nor have I ever tried to control you.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:20]:

Oh, just let that go for me. Maybe people in your past did. That's not me. You know that's Not me. Let's think about this. And to this day, he's never tried to control me. He's shaking his head at some of the stuff I decided I was gonna do, but He didn't try to control me. That was something I was putting on him that he didn't deserve.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:42]:

And it could have ruined our relationship if if I had held on to that much longer.

Mary Lewis [00:21:47]:

Yeah. That's so true. Again, you know, if we don't deal with those things, we carry them into And I think the other thing that, as women, we need to do is we need to know who we are. I think that's so huge. You have to know who you are Because it makes it easy to say yes, and it makes it easier to say no to the wrong guy. I call it superpowers. We innately have superpowers as women. You know, we're nurturers.

Mary Lewis [00:22:14]:

We know how to create a home. We know how to show up again and get things done. And so because we are so powerful, and I believe God created us to be so powerful, We just can't settle for any old okeydoke. You know? Any any old guy, it won't do. And so you have to know who you are And allow god to bring that person into your life.

Sandy Kovach  [00:22:40]:

And sometimes it's not easy to wait either. And No. And let me just we talked a little bit about divorce, and now my parents were not. But I I have been divorced. And Mhmm. And as a matter of fact, After my divorce is when I actually became more of a follower of Christ and really started taking that much more seriously, so God did use that. But one of the things and I remember this Lanee and I go to well, I used to go to Northridge. She goes to Northridge, and I remember they had the divorce ministry there.

Sandy Kovach  [00:23:10]:

And one of the things that they always emphasized is working on yourself before you jump back into another Marriage. And I'm wondering because, you know, a lot of our audience may be on a 2nd marriage or thinking about a 2nd marriage or in a position to consider a 2nd marriage for whatever reason. And so I waited a long time before I got remarried, and now I've been remarried for 10 years. If I had jumped right back into it, I know that it would not have worked out. So do you find that a lot? Is there Do you address that at all in your book, people of divorce, or just relationships in general?

Mary Lewis [00:23:40]:

Just relationships in general. I think The steps in the book are applicable to any stage in a woman's life. You have to work on yourself first. You have to forgive. You have to know who you are. There's a chapter on finances. You need to get your finances in order. You need to discover your purpose and your passion so that you can walk in it boldly.

Mary Lewis [00:24:06]:

Right? You need to know what your superpowers are As a woman, you need to deal with the idea of what if I never get married? What if I'm never in a relationship? What happens then? Right? Because society tells women your value is in marriage, having children, And those are all honorable things, but you have purpose beyond that. You have a calling beyond that. And the goal of the book is really to discover who you are so you can pursue the thing that's been placed inside of you. So when mister Wright comes along, you all can walk that thing out together. But if you don't know who you are again, when he shows up, he doesn't know how to you. He doesn't know how to push you in to your truest potential. And that's what the book is really about, is getting yourself together.

Sandy Kovach  [00:25:01]:

So let's talk a little bit more about the book. Lanee has been raving about it. I just started it, but tell us a little more about that, how we get into all that.

Mary Lewis [00:25:08]:

The book is available on Amazon. You can pick it up there. You can go to my website, mary lewistheauthor.com. But the book is I take the princesses that we know and love, some of my favorite quotes, to start a chapter And then hopefully provide practical insights for women, challenges that they can actually do. So pretty much at the end of each chapter, There's something that you can do. Forgiveness, go through the steps. Your father, your exes, yourself. Chapter 2 is I am statements.

Mary Lewis [00:25:43]:

There was a point in time in my life after a bad relationship, I literally could not look at myself in the mirror. I was just repulsed, to be quite honest. And so I literally created I am statements. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am this. I am that. And I covered my win my mirror with these I am statements.

Mary Lewis [00:26:04]:

And as I begin to read them every day and believe them, I would take one down. Okay. I am beautiful. I believe that. And I would take it down until I could see myself in the mirror again. Wow. Again, there's a chapter on finances. There's a chapter on our superpowers.

Lanée Blaise [00:26:21]:

I know your book also tells you to not be afraid to try new things. Yes. Whether that be in dating, whether that be in your current relationship, whether that be just even in yourself, new activities. I mean, we could talk Still for like another hour. But I know that we won't. I really want people to take this and run with it in their minds. I hope and pray that everyone really gets the book, The Princess Chronicles Happily Ever After A Journey to Love, because you can see for yourself the benefits of self discovery digging in deep and letting go of some of that old stuff and really thinking about that springtime, that new stuff, the budding relationships, budding insights that are gained. And also too, you're on social media too.

Lanée Blaise [00:27:10]:

That's how I found you was on Instagram. And, could you share with us your social media aspects that people can reach out to you as well?

Mary Lewis [00:27:18]:

Absolutely. I am on Instagram at Mary Lewis the author. Facebook, Mary l the author. Through my website, you can connect with me as well, Mary Lewis, the author .com. But I do wanna say this, and I hope it's okay. There is truly happily ever after. I am married to my prince, the man of my dreams, literally, and we will be celebrating our 20 year anniversary. But I had to put in the work.

Mary Lewis [00:27:48]:

I had to become whole. I needed to know who I was. I needed to forgive myself. I literally walked Through every step in that's in the book. I have walked those steps out, and I could not ask for a better husband. My husband is amazing. I tell people I tell women specifically, your husband should be A reflection of god's love for you in the flesh. God's manifested love for you in the flesh, and that is what my husband is to me.

Mary Lewis [00:28:21]:

And so happily ever after truly does exist, but you have to be whole to get it.

Sandy Kovach  [00:28:26]:

That's so beautiful. And, Mary, I think to our single listeners, Whether they have never been married or are looking for a a new marriage, they're widowed or divorced, that's a great message. And to our married listeners, I mean, I've learned a lot, and Linae and I have both admitted to you here that we learned on the job. Yes. For whatever, you know, our little Fallacies going into the relation or fallacies maybe in my case, and you were a boss girl.

Lanée Blaise [00:28:53]:

Too. Yeah. Mine was cray cray, but yeah. Not just fallacy.

Sandy Kovach  [00:29:01]:

So that's the encouragement to our married listeners too is that, yeah, There are steps we can still take while we're in a relationship. And one of them, we've gotta involve discussions with our spouse, but also working on ourself, whether that be therapy, Go now. Support groups, faith groups.

Mary Lewis [00:29:17]:

If you need therapy, get therapy. Someone to walk out the steps with you.

Lanée Blaise [00:29:23]:

Yeah. Because we all can learn something new about ourselves, about our situations, about our spouse. Sometimes we're just going through a bad patch, Mhmm. And it can vary in the length of time and the severity of it. But sometimes when you're on the other side of it, you can look back and think about how Grateful you are that and this could be a bad patch within your life as a single person, within your life in a relationship. Either way, you said in your book, we are created for connection. Yes. And, also, we are created for growth and development.

Lanée Blaise [00:29:58]:

So reaching out, even listening to positive podcasts, it's so wonderful to have someone supportive as opposed to negative people who continue that same thing. Yeah. Make sure you get somebody that you can steamroll over or or you'll never find anyone. Oh my goodness. Don't wanna hear that. So it's just really important that we have these types of positive messages, relationships, And someone's saying it is okay to go to therapy. It is okay to balance that with your own faith, Mhmm. Philosophy.

Lanée Blaise [00:30:33]:

It is just it's all adding to the experience Mhmm. Overall. We always have takeaway time I just have a tiny little thing. I wanted to share this is It's just an excerpt from a poem that I read decades ago And it's called comes the dawn by veronica shaw stall And like I said, this is not the whole poem. I encourage everyone to just Google it and it pulls up But

Sandy Kovach  [00:30:59]:

can Can we put a link on our website?

Lanée Blaise [00:31:00]:

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Not only put a link on the website. I hope that everybody absolutely will check out our website, imagine yourself podcast.com. That is where you can also we'll have a link to Mary's book. We will also have a link to this poem And just all of the things that we always have with our blog, you can subscribe to it, make sure you never miss an episode, all of that good stuff. But until then, lives. Let me just leave you with just a few little lines from the poem.

Lanée Blaise [00:31:28]:

It says, after a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, And you learn and learn with every goodbye you learn. So that is just a little takeaway. We wanna really, really overall, but thank our princess Mary, our fairy godmother Yes. For sprinkling some good knowledge and insight on us today.

Mary Lewis [00:32:08]:

Thank you for having me on today.

Sandy Kovach  [00:32:10]:

Anything else you want us add to takeaway time on Lanee's beautiful poem?

Mary Lewis [00:32:13]:

Just, again, ladies, Know who you are. If you don't take anything else away from this podcast, know who you are, know what you've been called to do, and walk confidently and boldly in it.

Lanée Blaise [00:32:24]:

Well, then on that note, I'll just say imagine yourself living your authentic life with purpose and faith in a way that leads to a joyful life.

Sandy Kovach  [00:32:42]:

You can find the link in the episode description. On our website, there's a place to message us and Join our social media community. We would love to hear from you. And here's to your happily ever after.