Imagine Yourself Podcast
If you find yourself starting a new chapter in life, step into the transformative world of Imagine Yourself as hosts Lanée Blaise and Sandy Kovach invite you to journey alongside them through life's twists and turns. For over five years, this dynamic duo has captivated and uplifted audiences with their blend of wisdom, wit, and faith.
Exploring topics like relationships, career, health and faith; they’ll give you insights from both expert guests and from their own lived experiences. The goal is creating a place where you can embrace self-improvement without judgment or pressure. We invite you to listen in!
Imagine Yourself Podcast
5 Ways to Make Love Last
Love is complicated. But it is also simple. That is, there are some basic things that we all can do to help a relationship blossom. We’re exploring five ingredients that should be in every romance recipe, and we’re throwing in some secret sauce you may not have tried.
You’ve probably heard that good communication is king, but did you know that sometimes what you don’t say is just as important as what you do say. For example, is it always necessary to give your partner your (unsolicited) opinion on everything he or she does, says, wears, etc.?
Is there something even MORE important than effective and empathetic communication? Could it be that respect is what your significant other may be craving most?
They say teamwork makes the dream work, but are you unknowingly sabotaging your spouse?
You’ve probably heard (and maybe used) the expression “It’s not you, it’s me”. We'll talk about how it's not just for breakups (like in the Seinfeld episode).
In this episode, we’ll share personal successes and failures in our relationships and look at some helpful advice from experts. Many of the things that we’re adding to this recipe of romance won’t be the things you would ever expect. We’ll hit on five major points, be we also dig even deeper and explore some crucial areas that are often overlooked.
We dedicate this episode to anyone who is looking for love or looking to hold on to their love. Listen in, and elevate your romance game!
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Imagine Yourself is hosted by Lanée Blaise and Sandy Kovach. Lanée is a TV writer and producer, motivational speaker and podcaster. Sandy is a radio personality, voiceover artist and podcaster. They come to you from the Detroit Metro area and invite guests from all over the world to help encourage you in your health, career, faith journey and more!
At Imagine Yourself, we like to imagine what things will look like at the next level in your life. So today, we have a little challenge. Do you wanna learn new things? Do you wanna try some new things in your life? We are here to tell you now is the time because there has never ever ever been a time where we have collectively had so much access to new information and rapid change, and I'm just wondering if we can use this to our advantage. By the end of this episode, we wanna have you focusing on new ways of doing things that will transform your life. I'm Lanee here with Sandy, and we wanna welcome you to the world of change at Imagine Yourself. Sandy, what do you think about all that?
Well, I think first of all, we need to give people a reason why change is a good thing.
Like that movie on Wall Street The greed is good, and we just change it to
change it. Good. Good. Well, you know, it is. But First of all, we've all been through some change with the pandemic and having to relearn how to do things. And as you said, we have all these things at our fingertips, Especially now people doing things virtually and learning new skills, but there are real advantages to Learning new things, whether it's just a hobby or whether it's a skill, it helps your brain develop in new ways. It gets you out of ruts, it can help with depression. It can help you meet new people.
It can help you with job opportunities, and we'll discuss a little bit more of those points as we go, but just to start out by saying, there are so many reasons why we should want to jump out and do new things.
I like that too because now the reason this whole topic came up is because, believe it or not, Imagine Yourself podcast is at season 3. So we decided to do some new things. We've got a new look, a new logo, new topics, new guests, and it feels Good.
Yeah.
You know, to do these new things and to incorporate change. I mean, it makes me wonder, Is anybody out there, like, moving to a new place or getting a new job or retiring from an old job or Starting new relationships, new healthy regimens, having a baby or a grandbaby in the family, new skills, starting a business. There's So many new things, so many things that involve change. But like you said, Sandy, change Can be good. We've seen so many hard things that changed in our ways of life and our new normals, but Let's try to focus on some of the things that are good modes of change. What do you think about all this with season 3 and with just us or in your personal life or in general?
I think that with season 3, it's been interesting. You know, we put questions on on Facebook about what direction should we go. Should we go more faith oriented? Should we go more health Orient and mental health, different things, and the answers were varied. I don't think we had one thing that said do it this way. So we're just gonna keep Looking for your feedback on that. But speaking of questions on Facebook, I asked yesterday, have you acquired a new skill Or started a new hobby recently. And, you know, some people with all the crush of 2020 just kinda made a joke about it. It's like, yeah, like, I have time for that.
But other people were able to do it. And, you know, and not everybody is able to go and learn a new skill right now or make some kind of a change in their life. But there were people I had 1 lady I know, and I used to work with her back in the day in radio. Her name is Monica, and check this out. Her new hobby is astrophotography.
What is that?
I know. I was like, what? My mind is blown, But she has always been a photographer or at at least I've seen some of her work she's posted, and it's been pretty cool. So she's got a telescope And a camera, and she's kinda combining that now. And she's doing star trails and just all kinds of interesting stuff, and I thought, wow. So I asked her why that, and she said she wanted to be able to take pictures of what she saw through her telescope and capture star trails, When it shows how the earth revolves and to see the Milky Way, and she's doing it because she is in awe of God's work. It's a spiritual thing for her too.
Our love is spiritual. It seems like she's finally maybe reached a point in life where you just realize, If I don't do it now, I'm never gonna do it. And like you said, for those who do have the time to bring some of those aspects of their Dreams and hopes and life and talents to light. Go ahead and and it should be done right now.
And don't have to be that extravagant. I had people say cross country skiing or something about getting a lanolin out of wool. I mean, just really crafty. I know. I just got the most Incredible answers, and I'll probably repost that on, our Imagine Yourself podcast so people can chime in with what they've been doing. So not to make people feel bad that don't have the time or couldn't do it, but if you do have something, those are just examples of new things.
Mhmm. Very creative things too. Sometimes things happen spontaneously. There's hobbies, and then there's Definitely, I think, been a push for people to up their nutrition game and up their health game. And mine Happened in my household. It started with my 16 year old son, and this was very unexpected source of inspiration. Wow. From a Teenage boy, he literally just woke up one day and said, I wanna be healthier.
And he has started this process because he's got School where he goes to school one day and then he's home online another day. So he exercises on the days when he's home. He eats healthier, Cooks his own food more, doesn't eat as many processed things, tracks what he eats and drinks. What? He does all of our grocery shopping now.
So maybe that's
the other good part. When it's real bad with the snow, I'll drive him. But if not, he can drive. He gets all of our groceries. He comes back with these fresh fruits and vegetables and Things that we've never tried before or cooking them in different ways we never did before. He has us doing new exercises and new meals and new things, and it's taken a person like me who, honestly, if we're really, really honest, I've never really been one to like change. I don't really like change. But I'm trying to at least be honest with myself and hold on to the things where the change is showing good positive results and fun things.
Who knew? Right? Nope.
I mean, yeah. A 16 year old boy and going grocery shopping and cooking And inspire the family to be healthier.
Exactly. And see, I think, again, this kick started because he's been home so much, and you start to think, well, there's not a whole lot of things that I can do. I can't go to concerts and stuff right now, but there are things that I can do. Mhmm. I mean, we still eat chocolate and stuff like that too, but all of it has just become more fun. Like I said, since we were doing it with the podcast, I'm finding myself this is happening in my regular life too. I don't know if this is same with you also.
I am definitely, have been working on skills that I already have. And it's another thing people said on Facebook. It's like, if you're in cosmetology, you may be taking more courses. Like my Doctor Rita, my nail tech, she spent the pandemic learning aesthetics, facials, and now she's doing waxing and things like that. And me, you know, I'm working on my voice and my audio editing. Also Photoshop and little things like that. So I haven't really tried anything new, and that was kind of irritating to me because I thought, you know, we're gonna go and do a podcast, and I really can't say a new hobby. But listen to what I thought of.
Back when you and I before we met, we met in a Bible study called Rooted at Northridge, And I had done a ton of Bible studies, and you had you were the leader. And but you and I had never been in the same group. Right?
Never never met each other before.
Nope. Big church, never met each other, and I don't even go there full time anymore, but I still come for Bible studies. But I always wanna be in the same group with the same people because, you know, you get To know people
one used to get.
And and so when they did Rooted, they were like, nope. Can't pick your group. Remember that? We're gonna put People in I don't know if they did it random or they did it I don't know how they did it. But I was like, no. But look what happened. I met you, obviously. We started a podcast and became good friends, and I met some other great people too.
But that was an example that I could think of where I had to be pushed into trying something new Even though it was just a variation of something I was doing. And so because sometimes changes are just variations. Right?
Exactly. And that's a good point too because I was another one who went kicking and screaming. I wanted my former group, and they did assure us you will be able to go back to your former group if you really want to after, but give this a try. And that's that part about just give it a try. Not only that, do you remember saying we'd happen, this is again random, Happen to sit next to each other Mhmm. The entire 10 week study. And that's another thing. There are sometimes Things moving in our lives that we don't understand at first.
We don't realize at first, but it is for our own good. All of this is kinda making me think of the things that I'm trying to do in a new way, which is, again, not in my comfort zone, is to let go of some of the control that I wish I have and that I want to have, and let life and let god do some wonderful things that are unexpected. Yes. Trust them. Trust that process. Trust the way God moves. And that is a brand new thing for me that I'm really, really enjoying. Yeah.
And that's the part that we were asking. Do our listeners wanna hear more about faith? If so, then I have to Admit that along with you thinking about like you said, you didn't think about anything right this moment in your life that you've been changing, but my biggest one is, and I got this, of all things, from social media and Instagram, the power and the goodness of rest. So resting in god, because I feel like there was a big push in this country and society to just go go go go go, hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle. And now and maybe this is just me, but do you see it on Instagram and Facebook a lot about give yourself time to rest, give yourself time for self care, and to just really embrace that instead of the hustle mentality. And, Sandy, it has transformed me. It's so crazy. Why is it that if I sit in bed longer, I linger in bed, all of these thoughts and prayers and dreams start to blossom versus me hopping out of bed and jumping to the next thing they don't ever get a chance to develop.
No. Because you're always focused on what's next on your list. I have noticed that, and I think 2020 has kinda pushed that with people being at home. And sure, in a lot of ways, it's made people's lives a little crazier Dealing with everything being at home, school, work, etcetera. But at the same time, without a commute, without some of these other things, People have had more downtime, and I think have learned to appreciate downtime a little. There's always been that push out there for self care and for Relaxing and downtime, but I don't know if anybody ever felt like they had time to take that seriously. Do you know what I mean?
Exactly. And, oh my goodness, how about this? I read this the other day, and I love it. It speaks to what you just said about the commute because because a lot of people don't necessarily have the commute anymore. I was reading on this little app that I have. It's called the skim, and it just Skims over and gives you brief highlights of news of the day because sometimes looking at and watching the whole news is just too much for me. But Yeah. They were talking about a fake commute. And I'm like, what in the world are they talking about? And they said it's where you take the time that you would have normally had You drive to work and back, and you take that time and you dedicate it to either relaxation, in listening to your favorite podcast, reading a book, doing something that you usually don't get a chance to do, and you just kinda tell your family, okay.
I'm I'm on my commute right now.
Oh, you're fake yeah. Now do you go and sit in your car for this?
Depends on your who's in the house because I think some folks with Kids, they might need to go get in that car. Yeah. That's right. If it's just you or just you and a fellow adult, you might be able to just go in a separate room. But for those with the little kids they might really need it.
Yeah. I love that idea, your fake commute. One thing too, and you were talking about god's plan and just resting in that. I saw something that said, Be so confident in God's plan that you don't even get upset when things don't go your way. And if we can rest more in that, I think change, whether we go out and we look for change or whether we have it thrust upon us, It's gonna be a lot easier to deal with. We didn't know that we were gonna meet each other in bible study and start a podcast. And back when we were kicking and screaming about not being in our own groups, Look what was ahead when we just relaxed and enjoyed it.
That is the truth, and that is the part where we have talked on this podcast about controlling our thoughts, even being more intentional about what we say and what we think and how powerful that is. Because Even when you can't control certain circumstances or outcomes and even when you don't want change, but Change is barreling towards you in a certain area. It is really important to go back and think about some of those strategies like controlling your thoughts, like trying to embrace it in a different way. And I think this is kind of a time of reflection for a lot of people. If anyone out there Can just sit really still for a moment and reflect and truly evaluate your life, The different aspects of your life, your career, your love, your faith life, and see what keeps popping up as a flag area where you might need to make a change. Because what if you are smart enough or lucky enough or blessed enough to make that Change on your own instead of life forcing it upon you. Trying to be proactive in that area because I feel that could be really helpful, and career is another one too that you kinda touched upon. But, Sandy, this was kinda what I said at the beginning where there's never been a time we've had So much access to information.
You could watch a webinar on anything.
Yeah.
And you could learn Whole new avenues to your career or even the career that you desire or the career that you're currently in. You can take a webinar on love relationships. Ships. You could or a podcast. You could take 1 on your nutritional journey. There are so many things, and we don't wanna bombard ourselves. So That part of just stepping away and reflecting and seeing what am I supposed to be taking away and learning in this year? It's really powerful. That's been my experience.
Yeah. You have been really good about connecting with people virtually. I know through some Faith groups and Rita, who I was telling you learned some new skills, she was also saying she just joined a virtual group with her financial advisers, A little women's group, kind of a networking thing. So there's, like, a ton of stuff on LinkedIn if you wanna do networking stuff. There is I think you've met People on Instagram for your prayer groups. And like you said, you can Google anything. I can go get a a voice over coach Virtually, if I want, I can get somebody to help me with any skill, or I can just watch videos. Like you said, there's Webinars for anything.
There's how to videos on everything too.
Master classes.
Master classes. Yes. Yeah.
There's apps to help you with things. There's Technological things to help you as far as your information levels and your connection levels. I'm not doing a lot of things outside of my home personally, but I have a whole network of people, like you said, as far as in my faith community, and we're doing everything online and on Zoom. And it has been way more effective than I ever thought possible. Yeah. Because I don't even like technology. I know that is more your area of expertise, but I'm getting used to baby steps, and I'm seeing too, like, our local library has sessions for people who want to Learn how to navigate through Zoom and Microsoft Teams and Google Hangout and things like that to try to make it more accessible for everybody.
Right. So all of that information is on there. If you don't feel comfortable with technology and maybe you don't have somebody in your home to help you, Go online and watch YouTube video on Excel spreadsheets or whatever it is that you need help with. Again, kinda going back to why you would wanna do this. Now we mentioned career. We mentioned connection. But did you know that there are just benefits To your brain for trying new things, it helps your creativity and your brainpower that gets stimulated. They say time can become more memorable.
You know how they say the older you get, the faster time goes? And I was reading, and I think it was like a gardening blog of all things. I don't even garden. And, no, that's not my new hobby, but I was just it was googling. And they were saying that people get in these ruts and these habits just because life happens. And so that's why we feel like time goes by so much more quickly because we're not making moments memorable. We're not getting out there Out of our comfort zones and trying new things and meeting new people, and every single time you put yourself in a new situation, you force your brain To understand a a new set of circumstances and how to handle it, and it gets easier every time, and you get over fears. There's just all kinds of benefits To learning new things. So even if maybe you don't feel compelled to do it for your career or you wanna meet new people, maybe you're all set in those areas, There's a reason to do it right there.
I love it. It is stretching. These things can be gifts. I wanted to just tell you about a actual physical gift that I got from a friend named Tara, and this was during this whole quarantine part, and they were called conversation cards. She sent them to me through Amazon, and it's something where, again, with reflection and stretching your mind and thinking about things and it really savoring because it seems like what you were getting at is If you can save your life and you can try new things, you really do stretch into a brand new version of yourself. Yes. And, you know, and for young people and and older people so this one is, like a family thing with conversation cards. This is my son again.
He and I have been doing these cards each day. How about this? Because here's the other thing. This is what I'm really getting to. Mental health. Everybody talks about it also, but it is something that's really important to keep an eye on. Some people have been having family meetings within their homes, and we've been doing these conversation cards. And I am learning so much about this child that I've had for 16 years that I didn't even know. And my daughter does it Sometimes with us, she's at college, but she does it on her time to home, and you learn so much about the other person.
A teenager's mental health is maybe even more fragile than in adults right now, kinda depending on the circumstances. Really get a good read and good beat on what's going on. You can uncover potential problems. This is something new. Wouldn't have tried before. Yeah. And I'll go even further. You want me to go even further?
Would you go further? Let's go further.
Well, how about this? My husband and I, been married for 20 plus years, for the very first time ever, went to see a couple's counselor. There was nothing terribly wrong, but my husband said he wanted to do a tune up on the marriage because if you have a car and you never get a tune up and you never switch out the spark plugs, you might have a problem eventually. And we tried it for the sake of again, you gotta make sure that you're you know, you're hearing all these messages about keeping up with your mental health and your self care in your relationship care and things like that, and it was really wonderful. As it turns out, as far as anyone who's curious about the outcome, I was the problem.
Oh. But we just did our relationship podcast.
It wasn't a huge problem. Mine was, which I said those red flags that come up was control. I was trying to control him as if he were one of my children also, and that is a big no no that I Took away from the sessions, but so many new things that we can do to open up Our worldview, our perspectives, our heart, our lives, our spirit, everything.
Wow. There are so many levels to this. Whether it's interpersonal, like you were saying just now, whether it's out in our career, whether it's working on ourselves. Yikes. There's just a lot to this. Have you ever heard the, quote, life begins at the end of your comfort zone? I think it's kind of a common one that's posted a lot.
Heard it, but I never liked it because I like my comfort zone.
So how do you feel now?
I feel like even after listening to what we've shared Today, I'm starting to think sometimes this world is going to force something on me anyway to make me get out of my comfort zone. And then sometimes, I can try to take my own advice and try to be proactive and step out of my comfort zone on my own terms so that it doesn't have to come after me in baby steps again. That's kinda what I'm getting to, baby steps. I don't have to go and do everything brand new tomorrow, but baby steps and with people that you trust because here's another one. When we were asking people what types of topics we should incorporate, One of the responses was a desire to hear more about financial health.
Oh, yeah.
that a cool way to say it though too? Because we talked about mental health, physical health, but your financial health. Yes. That's another one, and you can get help with that.
We had Kembala on our podcast, and we do have one. I think back in season 1, there's an episode with Kembala, and she was very helpful. So maybe we get her again or maybe someone else. But one of the things we learned from her is it's It's not just about money. It's a lot of about our dealing with it has more to do with what issues we may personally have. Right? And that extends out to our money.
Really deeply. Sometimes that happens with nutrition too. The things that you eat on impulse, the things that you buy on impulse, Sometimes, there's a lot of deeper stuff going on there, and that may need a change. We might need to try some new strategies to overcome those things. And that's why I like the thought of talking in terms of health, mental health, physical health, financial health, maybe maybe even career health. I don't know. Yeah.
Well, there's different levels to what people wanna hear about. So anything else, I mean, I feel like we've gone over So many different aspects of possible change in our life and talked about why they might be important, not to push anyone into anything. You know, you gotta go at your own pace. I put it out there on Facebook. People were talking about different things that they tried, and I almost felt like, oh, I hope I don't make anybody feel bad that right now at this current moment, they're not trying new things. Sometimes it's not time for that. Sometimes you do have to sit in your comfort zone and just deal with what's the next right thing day to day, moment to moment.
That's another thing that I have learned through Instagram. The, the power of telling each other that we have a right to be proud of ourselves for just making it through the daggon day. That's right. And this is in the Bible too as far as there's a time for love and a time for hate and a time to Live in a time to die. There's a specific time for these things. And here's the thing, if this particular message Is hitting you the right way, and you know it's for you. Yeah. You know? Then then it's important because some people, like you said, are listening and saying this is just not where I'm at right now.
But for those of you that are getting that nudge right now, there's a Bible verse in Isaiah that says, see, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up. Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland and shows, you know, God does things, God changes, God creates. We can embrace that too at the proper time in our lives.
Absolutely. Amazing. Yeah. Yeah. You got takeaways,? Takeaway time.
There's a wise man. He happens to be my dad.
Oh, I love your dad stories. Another dad story.
He was talking to me just the other day asking, what are you ladies talking about on your next podcast. And so, well, you know, we've got season 3. We've got this new vibe going on, so we're gonna talk about trying new things. And he's like, oh, yeah. Definitely. This is the Time to talk about that because everybody's had to think outside the box. Everybody's had to do things way different than they used to. That's on all different fronts.
Racially, we need to think about things a little differently. Politically, economically, lots of things are bubbling up that we really have to take a look at a different way. And he was really just tickled by the fact that my son goes to school one day, and then the other day, he doesn't go to school so that the other High schoolers can go so there's not too many. He said, it's amazing how we humans can adapt and make significant adjustments when we have to. And that just makes me think, imagine How many amazing things we can do and be when we intentionally make adjustments? Yeah. That was my takeaway even to myself, a person who has never liked to change. You know? And it's always ended up Something that when you look back way later that it was good for me or that something good can come from it.
Yeah. We learn Through these trials and these things that are thrust upon us, and you're right, if we could sit back and take time to figure out how to make these changes ourselves.
Again, it doesn't have to be a big you don't have to be famous tomorrow. It doesn't have to be a huge overhaul. It can just Be a situation where you are embracing the little, the small, the beautiful, the unique parts of you that you can enhance and share. In the end, I hope But the big takeaway is just for all of us, imagine yourself trying new things and liking it.
We'll definitely hope you liked And got something out of the podcast. Hope too that you'll subscribe on whatever platform you listen on. If you're listening on the Upside in. You usually do your podcast on Apple. Follow the link over there and subscribe so you don't miss an Episode. Same on Spotify, Google, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And, of course, they're always available at imagine yourself podcast dot com where you can hook up with us on social media, send us an email or more. In fact, we would love to hear from you.
Until the next time When we have something new to imagine, take care of yourself. We are rooting for you.