Great Relationships Start With the One You Have With Yourself (w/ Life Coach Kerry Rasenberger)

One of the most important relationships you’ll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. This episode offers a challenge to anyone who is looking for more of all the right things. What if you start to fully embrace self-love and find yourself in more loving, balanced, meaningful relationships overall? What if being your own best friend is what ultimately leads to healthy, vibrant, and fun friendships with others? What if being kind and understanding to an imperfect you helps to navigate this imperfect world with more confidence and composure?

We needed help finding concrete ways to bring self-love into our lives, and our guest, Certified Life Coach Kerry Rasenberger, has truly delivered. She gives creative suggestions and breaks it all down so that we can begin to value the importance of self-love and self-appreciation without feeling selfish. She emphasizes “11 Steps of Self-Love” that are so creative and fulfilling—a must-try! We also learn that all great relationships require the same key factors:  good communication, full respect, lots of patience, and a sense of gratitude.  However, when showering ourselves with love, we can add even more to the mix. The essential gifts we can give ourselves are the gifts of: self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-validation, self-trust, self-care, and genuine forgiveness.

 Listen in to discover how to administer a much-needed dose of love to yourself. You’ll also hear about a special gift that Life Coach Kerry is offering to all listeners. Imagine Yourself loves to find new ways to build beautiful relationships, and this time, it’s all about you!

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Transcript

Lanée Blaise [00:00:00]:

Hello, everyone. We're Lanee and Sandy, and we would like to dedicate this episode to the month of love. It's February, and in honor of Valentine's Month, if you happen to love Imagine Yourself podcast, We ask that you please subscribe on whatever platform you like so that you'll never miss an episode. But now we gotta get back to today's real purpose. We wanted to start by sending all of you, our listeners, an extra dose of love today. We know you need it after the year that we had last year. And there's something that I saw on social media that relates to today's topic, and it hits right in the heart. In reality, Other people liking you is a bonus.

Lanée Blaise [00:00:46]:

You liking yourself is the real prize. Our guest today is going to show us the importance of that prize, which is self love. Kerry Rasenberger, also known as Life Coach Kerry has some nuggets for us and an awesome gift that I'm gonna tell you about a little later that she is offering to our listeners. Kerry decided to use her 25 plus years of experience coaching executive staff and clients, and she decided to help even more people. She now serves as a certified life clarity coach who helps women clarify their goals and purposes, which ultimately leads to fulfillment and empowerment. Kerry, we want to welcome you. We wanna thank you for joining Imagine Your self as you walk us through this world of self love.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:01:39]:

Thank you so much. It's so awesome to be here. I can't wait to talk about this topic. It is such a popular discussion that everybody's talking about nowadays, and I'm ready to jump in.

Sandy Kovach  [00:01:51]:

Alright. We are too. And how about we jump in with this? Imagine that you're going to the store to pick out a Valentine's card, but instead of for your partner or someone in your family. You're picking out a Valentine's card for yourself. What would you wanted to say, And why is it so weird to think about that?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:02:11]:

Oh, I think anything when you're talking about self love, people get this term of, oh, that's sounds a little weird, But it's so important. And going back to the card, I would get a card that would say, truly accept your strengths, Your weaknesses and everything in between. Because once you do that, you can thrive in life and you will be comfortable in your skin And be able to give more to others.

Lanée Blaise [00:02:36]:

How do we define self love and make sure that nobody's getting it confused with self centered and self fish.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:02:42]:

I think 1 area we can start with is it's not becoming a narcissist. Narcissist wants everybody to love them and don't love yourself. Do everything for me. I'm great, and it's not about that. Loving yourself is fully accepting yourself. Understanding that we're not perfect and it's okay to not be perfect. It's nurturing yourself, respect yourself, growing, and taking care of your well-being. It's not only how you treat yourself, but it's also your thoughts and your feelings about yourself.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:03:12]:

We'll dig into that a little bit deeper. But a lot of times how I start off with clients is with 3 simple questions because I'm trying to have them have maybe an moment. And the first question I start off with could be, what do you do for yourself? Truly yourself. It's not making your best meal that you love And that you're gonna have for your family that you're doing that. It's not, do you love going to your daughter's soccer game? Because that's still for your daughter. What do you truly do for yourself? And you'll be so amazed that a lot of times people are speechless. I know in my midlife earlier, I was on the back burner for a lot of years Working but always caring for the kids, getting them to the sports. We did travel sports, and I really didn't do a lot for myself.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:03:57]:

And so when I was digging into this, that was kind of a question I had. I was like, wow. I need to start doing things for myself. And then the second question that I ask is, How do you feel about yourself? Truly feel. Are you proud of yourself? A lot of people say, I could never say I'm proud of myself. You know? Or Are you feeling let down about yourself, but what are your feelings on a daily basis about yourself? And the third question is, how do you talk to yourself? Are you saying, oh, that's so stupid. I shouldn't have done that. I can't accomplish anything.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:04:30]:

We do these things and not even realize on a daily basis Getting the negative tone and thoughts sometimes, or are you already there doing positive affirmations, believing in yourself? These are some things that we start first at, and we take if somebody's in a negative. How do you change that negative to a positive?

Lanée Blaise [00:04:49]:

If you ever go to a counseling session with someone that you love and care about, whether it be your spouse or your partner or your children. These seem like Some of the questions that we are used to asking in relation to one another Exactly. Lots of things in common because, you know, you talk about how Communication is the most important part of a relationship. Things like respect as well. Forgiveness is another one. And these are the same things that I'm kinda getting We might need to do for ourselves, have communication with ourselves, have respect for ourselves, have forgiveness for ourselves, Understand that nobody's perfect. Some of us are harder on ourselves than we are on others, and How do we change that?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:05:37]:

You're exactly right on everything you just said. Self love is having a positive feeling about yourself. And just like you said, it's not gonna be positive every day just like with your spouse and your kids. You get mad at them. You get frustrated with them. And you're gonna have those moments with yourself too, but it is the same self-concept. And you just asked a really good question To go into how do we get over doing that all the time. I think it's important to first understand why we need it, And then we can talk about some things we can do.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:06:09]:

Why we need self love? It is the foundation that allows us to create healthy relationships. It is the foundation of who we are, and we aren't taught this stuff. If my mom would've told me to self love and self growth when I was younger, I would've been like, Okay. Where are you coming from? But now as a mature understanding, I don't have to talk to my kids that way, But the way I communicate with them and learning for them to respect themselves, being the foundation, it teaches us how to set boundaries, Teaches us how to pursue our dreams, have a positive mindset, live intentionally. But what I do wanna talk about, if we do have self love that's depleted Or if you grew up without a self love role model in your family, which a lot of people do, you might not understand why this is valuable. People that are without self love, they're more likely to be extreme self critical, beating themselves up. They're more likely to fall into being a people pleaser all the time. I'm not talking about doing something nice for somebody.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:07:13]:

That is a normal thing. Loving yourself. You can love people more. Do things. I'm talking about people pleaser that they can't do anything for themselves, And they are at it could be a narcissist's call of just always giving giving. They get taken advantage of more. They tend to be so hard on themselves that maybe they're perfectionist, not having any self love or appreciation. Unfortunately, they're more likely to tolerate abuse with other people or being mistreated.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:07:41]:

So this is why, To me, self love is so important, and it's important to understand it and get past that awkwardness of maybe we can get a new word for it. Maybe we just call it self appreciation. I I wanna create a new word for the dictionary. I'll have to put self love, self appreciation, self worth, everything under one bubble Because there's more to it, to understanding it.

Sandy Kovach  [00:08:03]:

It's so funny you said that, Keri, because when Lanae and I were talking about this Topic. I was like, you sure you wanna do self love? It's so weird to me. But, you know, especially hearing you talk about how important it is and how it is the foundation for being in a positive relationship and many other aspects of life.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:24]:

Maybe we could

Kerry Rasenberger [00:08:24]:

call it, because it is. It's very awkward. I told you when I was talking to my girlfriends and telling them I was gonna do a podcast with you on self love, some of the comments I got back, Oh. We were laughing about it. But I think when you really understand and you're listening to the concept of this. I'm hoping that your listeners will get some moments. Maybe we call it self care. I really need To do self care.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:08:49]:

In one aspect from researching is so important to bring up right now is why is self love so important for our mental health? Many psychologists study it attest that self love and compassion are key components for all of our mental health. If we can teach people Caring for themselves and feeling more confident and believing in themselves, maybe we wouldn't have so much depression. If we taught our kids To learn to self care, self love, being able to stand up for themselves, not tolerate being treated poorly, believing in yourself, and Having more to give, would that decrease our problems with depression? If we could rename it because it's such an awkward thing To say, oh, I self love myself. Would people be more accepting?

Sandy Kovach  [00:09:36]:

It's basic. When you look at even The Bible talks about loving your neighbor, but it says love your neighbor as yourself. So you're assuming that you love yourself. I mean, that's the way we're created.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:09:49]:

And, really, it's taking care of yourself is loving yourself. We gotta treat ourselves like how we would treat somebody we love. If our kids are hurt or if our husband's upset or our Partner is down. We nurture them. Right? Yes. We have compassion to their needs, and we don't do that for ourselves. So

Lanée Blaise [00:10:09]:

let's all start changing it. I feel like this is a healthy movement, and it seems like the more that we press towards The words self love, self compassion, self appreciation, it starts having an influence. I tell you how it relates to me personally. I feel like 2020 showed me that in most cases, you are what you are constantly posed to. Exactly. So if you are exposed to social media, podcast, Friends, books that have words that lean you more and more towards positive things that are nurturing instead of things that are putting pressure on you, you're going to likely be less anxious, less depressed, more productive, of feeling more worthy, more self worth. And once that starts happening and then you share that with someone else, and then it becomes more normal and more healthy. What are you drawn to? Who are you drawn to? What materials or media do you read and Watch.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:17]:

What activities do you do? Who do you follow on Instagram? And do you wanna follow imagine yourself? Do you wanna follow Kerry life coach? Oh, do you want to follow people who just bring you down and make you feel like you're never gonna be enough and you're never gonna have enough?

Lanée Blaise [00:11:34]:

Yeah. I've tried tofollow good things on social media. I just saw a quote that said, don't just be kind to others, be kind to yourself, and that's influence.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:11:45]:

I just feel when I'm in my happiness, I'm so much better at helping Others, I'm not in turmoil. I'm not in things bringing me down. I'm not in the worries. I'm living in the present, and it just gives so much more I can offer the world or to people.

Sandy Kovach  [00:12:00]:

So, yeah, definitely something to think about. Be careful what you're exposing yourself to because it influences you and, in turn, others. Now also on social media, we're exposed to things that maybe aren't really negative, but we might have a tendency To get a little insecure because we're comparing ourselves to other people.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:12:19]:

If we don't take social media with a grain of salt, as in everything that people put on Might not be real because everybody puts the best on in not comparing what we want is that image. What you want is what you want internally. It's not what other people want. Your needs are your needs. And I think sometimes social media can exaggerate. And if somebody's not content in their self love, I I think it can make them feel worried that they aren't doing the right thing or put them into depression. They have this. I don't have that.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:12:52]:

So it's Good and bad social media. I guess that's the way. But if you control how you look at it, then you can make it into a positive.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:01]:

Yeah. For anybody who is listening and thinking, goodness. I wish I could just take a little time with Carrie 1 on 1 and kind of explore some of these things that are really plaguing me or pressuring me. Sandy, is it okay if we go ahead and tell what the What the gift will be?

Sandy Kovach  [00:13:20]:

Oh, sure. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:22]:

It doesn't matter where you live because virtually everything is virtual now. Carrie has been kind enough to offer a free hour session to those who listen in today. You just have to mention Imagine Yourself podcast, and you get to enjoy the benefits of 1 on 1 time with our expert, Carrie, life clarity coach. I just had to stick that in right now because So many times I'm listening to something, and I fall in love with the person who's the guest on the show. And I just feel like, well, I I definitely wanna listen to what they're saying, but I'll never get to really dig in deeper. And I just wanted to put that out there that we're gonna keep this conversation going, but anybody who's interested, I feel like that's a fantastic gift, a free 1 hour session where you get to you can talk about self love and self compassion and self appreciation, but there's other things too.

Sandy Kovach  [00:14:13]:

Yeah. So many things.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:14:14]:

And I'm excited if anybody is interested. I would love to do that. But I was thinking one thing I want everyone to know about self love is that everybody's is different at what they need for self love. And some people look at it as self care, but what I thought we could do something fun with the 3 of us to make it a little bit more exciting is do, like, a little round robin. What does self love mean to you? And I'll start off so you can get where I'm going. But for me, self love is going on a hike, hugging my dog, In focusing on self care, eating, exercise, meditation. How about you?

Sandy Kovach  [00:14:48]:

Coffee? Reading my little devotional in the morning.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:55]:

Mine is different. I kinda think back to that book from years back about the 5 love languages. And I've been trying to figure out what mine was for the past year, but I finally figured mine is words of affirmation. So self love for me, I love speaking, but I also love writing. So I guess the combination of writing, the good things that I can find in myself, and saying in my head the good things I can find about myself to give me self validation. That's mine.

Sandy Kovach  [00:15:22]:

I like it.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:15:23]:

I like that too. You know, and I hear some people like having time to read a book. Someone even put down on their thing drinking less wine. Drinking less. Drinking less is yeah. That's part of self care. Singing out loud. Just, I guess, the purpose of this is I wanted people to hear that everybody's needs are different.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:15:44]:

Journalizing is wonderful. Positive affirmations is great. And I guess something to think about is 2020 was a hard year, I'd have to say for most in some way or another. What if you could simply devote 2021 to loving and caring for yourself more? To help you with that, I have, like, 11 different ways to help you practice self love that I could share right now if that's alright with you.

Sandy Kovach  [00:16:08]:

Love it.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:16:08]:

Just for everyone to remember, your own way, Some of these might not pertain to you. Put your own in there. What it is is what your needs are. For the listeners out there, what I'd love for you to do, if you hear one thing, And I'll tell you why at the end. That resonates with you. That really, really kind of like, wow. That's something that I could do. Write it down, and if you're driving, just make a note when you stop because this will give you some ideas how to start practicing it.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:16:37]:

The first one is surround yourself with accepting and loving people. Let go those toxic people. And sometimes toxic people are hard to let go. That's a whole another topic If it's your family, but surround yourself with people that has the same loving thoughts that you do. Do things that you've been putting off for years. How many times for 5 years, 10 years have you had thoughts thinking, I'd like to do this. You know, maybe it's doing a little small garden in your backyard. Maybe it is reorganizing a room and doing a little office in your room.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:17:10]:

Maybe you want a reading corner and you put that off for 10 years. Just something little that you do just for yourself. Number 3 is kinda my focus this year. Practice good of care. That's drinking more water, daily exercising, eating better. I love french fries. I'm trying not to eat them as much.

Sandy Kovach  [00:17:29]:

McDonald's?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:17:31]:

Yeah. I try to not. Getting more sleep, that's one thing I've been trying to focus on, and just Time for self reflection. I think we don't do that enough, and it doesn't have to be daily. Maybe you need it 5 minutes in the morning. Maybe you need it once a week, but I think self reflection is a time where you can really get to know yourself better, what's working and what's not. Oh, and number 4, forgive yourself. This is a huge one.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:17:57]:

Sometimes, forgiving others might be easier, and we can live in the past and hold guilt. And my whole thought on this, there's no failure in life if we learn from it and grow from it. Yeah. If you allow yourself to learn and grow, you aren't the person today If you didn't go through that, because you grew through it. So just forgive yourself. Let go of the past of things you're holding on to because it really will keep you from moving forward and being happy. Being mindful, positive mindset. This is a great transition.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:18:29]:

And For me, working on self care, practicing and doing things puts me in a positive mindset where I'm feeling better about myself. When you are get yourself to that positive mindset, you know your needs, you know your thoughts, you know your feelings, And understanding that is only gonna allow you to make better decisions in life. You still won't make mistakes. We all do. We're human. But Making better decisions is gonna let us grow and go further.

Lanée Blaise [00:18:55]:

It'll give us a sense of self trust as well.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:18:58]:

Oh, that is great. Yeah. And self trust and believing in is really good. It's not gonna hold you back from deciding on which direction or which path to take. Yeah. This one was really good. This was my 2021 I focused on It's doing a lifestyle audit now when everybody came back home And we're all in the house And life was a little bit different, and we couldn't go anywhere. We all got to know each other better.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:19:24]:

There was a lot of really positive things for me in 2020, but it also really I sat down and kind of did a life audit of what do I wanna do in midlife? Where do I wanna go? I don't wanna sit around and do nothing. That's just not my personality. I got a lot of energy. I looked at what bad habits I need to break in my procrastinating. I learned a habit that I need to do, like focusing on you. I even my girlfriends laughed at this. Printed out a big y o u u. Put it next in my office, And instead of always getting sucked in, not that it's bad, but sometimes always getting in and catering and doing things for others, No.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:20:03]:

I can't because this is what I'm doing. I'm focusing on me. So that self audit for 2020 was really important for some positive changes in my life, And it really allowed me to look at what's working, what's not, and go and make changes. Number 7, I've already mentioned this earlier, is Accepting your strengths, your weaknesses, and everything in between. There's a lot in between, and I am totally fine with my weaknesses. My weaknesses, I'm not the best technology person. So, you know, having a virtual assistant's wonderful because she helps me on certain areas. But there's no reason to be embarrassed with weaknesses.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:20:38]:

We all have strength and weaknesses.

Sandy Kovach  [00:20:40]:

I think that's huge because we get so embarrassed Yeah. About things. And we wanna put it on this front, especially on social media. Hey. I got everything handled. But I think it helps people relate to you better, Whether it's on social media or in real life, here's what I can't do very well. I don't mean to be self deprecating, but to just be out there with your true authentic self.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:21:01]:

Yeah. Just being honest. We can't do everything. I mean, when you think about it, holy cow. We would never sleep if we try to do everything and master everything. So I think knowing your strengths And becoming better in your strengths is, it's golden. Yeah. I agree.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:21:16]:

And number 8 from a lot of my studies in this is something that's always been very important to me. Focusing on gratitude, I don't think we do that to the fullest. And what I do with clients sometimes Is I asked them to come up with a list of 25 things they're grateful for, and they have gratitude. And their faces go drop, like, And it's amazing. We live in such a world of abundance. We have so much that taking people back to the thoughts of, I am grateful I can walk. I am grateful I can see the beauty of nature. I am grateful I have a house over my head.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:21:53]:

I have food on my table. I have 2 beautiful kids. I'm not saying they don't give me a hard time sometimes. But when you really simplify it, There's so much more we should be grateful in life. You could probably come up to a list of 50 things easily if you go back to thinking kinda childlike. Oh, I have a new toy. Well, I got a new car. I have my own car.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:22:13]:

When you start having more gratitude, you bring it to life, and you're more grateful for the people around you, and it's Contagious.

Sandy Kovach  [00:22:19]:

Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:20]:

It can also help counterbalance what we just talked about as far as when we are honest with ourselves about our weaknesses. We can be honest with ourselves about the things that we're grateful for because I really feel like we might have learned that after 2020 because we started to realize we can't take certain things for granted. We can't take light for granted. And like you said, friendships and relationships, health and even our ability to have access to doctors and health care and things like that. I have a friend named Alicia who is just wonderful, And she reminds me all the time, she has so many things going on in her life and not all of them are going well. And some of those things Do have to do with health, but she's always thinking about the things that she's grateful for. That's that part you said about being around people who Bring that self love and that positivity and that gratitude. It is contagious.

Sandy Kovach  [00:23:15]:

Yeah. You can always find things that are going wrong, but you can Always find things that are going right too. It's where your focus is. Right?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:23:21]:

Yeah. And if you wake up in the morning and you're on the wrong side of the bed, at the end of the day, Find look back and find something that was good because not every bad day is a full bad day. There's always gonna be something good in there.

Lanée Blaise [00:23:34]:

I thought you were gonna say get back in the bed. Go lower and try and try and try.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:23:38]:

Well, hey. Some days, you just might need to do that, and some days, be grateful that you got out of the bed Because there's always gonna be a bad day once in a while. That's just human nature. Yes. Okay. And number 9, be proud of yourself. I think that's a hard thing for people sometimes. But at the end of the week, look back at the week, and what's something that you felt that you did a good job in? It can be as simple as I found a new recipe and it was killer.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:24:04]:

I loved it. I'm psyched. Or I finished a project and it went great. I connected or I have a new sales lead, whatever it is. Maybe each week, look at one thing that you can be Proud of yourself doing. And that is gonna take you to a positive mindset. And the positive mindset, it's like a snowball effect. It's gonna take you where you can treat people better and be better.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:24:27]:

Next one ten, I think is could be a whole topic itself because it's something that took me a long time in life. You know? I'm in my mid fifties now. It took me some Long time in life to learn. Not as much in business setting boundaries, but more in my personal life setting boundaries. Because I think in your personal life, it's more emotional. In business, it's functional. You keep a lot of the emotions out to go forward, but setting boundaries is so important. Learning to stand up for yourself, Learning to let people know they crossed the line, and that wasn't okay.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:24:58]:

Setting boundaries, I think, is something That you grow a lot from when you do it. Because when I first started setting boundaries more, I felt guilty. You know? And have you all felt guilty doing that?

Lanée Blaise [00:25:08]:

It's a learned art. You're right. That is something that we might have to have you back for a topic about that because setting boundaries goes hand in hand with self love. And once you start getting that self love and wanting to set boundaries, if you're not used to it, it might feel very uncomfortable, and you might need a little reinforcement.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:25:28]:

Even though I felt like I knew it was right, but then I'd be like, why am I feeling guilty? And it's something really to develop.

Sandy Kovach  [00:25:36]:

Setting boundaries with your time, that kind of thing?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:25:38]:

Setting boundaries for your time, setting boundaries if somebody's walking all over you, setting boundaries if somebody's trying to take advantage of you. There's so many things. You can even be setting boundaries with a parent. People have parents that can be a toxic parent. And now we're adults with our own children Setting boundaries that this cannot happen in my household. They're setting boundaries all across the board. Mhmm. You could be with a great girlfriend.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:26:03]:

You love her to death, and she is So much fun to be with. However, she's just gonna come over 247 and everything is gonna be about her, which is fun, but when you have to get things done, you know, setting and Respecting your time. Right. So that is a huge topic. And number 11 is my favorite. Live life intentionally. You know, as I mentioned before, don't be stuck in your past, in the guilt. Forgive yourself.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:26:28]:

Don't worry, you know, living so much to the future. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. Setting goals that aren't realistic for the future, you're worrying. Live in the present. Deal with day to day, and most importantly, living intentionally. Make sure you have time to have some fun. I know in midlife right now, I'm having a blast because I have more time to myself.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:26:47]:

I'm going out with girlfriends to small restaurants even though we have to kinda sit outside now. We don't do too much, or they come over, and we go Backyard, and we do a fire, but I'm loving midlife. I'm it's gonna be my best years. I'm finding time for myself. I don't feel guilty anymore if I tell my kids, I'm not making dinner tonight. You're 20. You're 18. Here.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:27:08]:

My credit card, go grocery shopping. Yes. It it feels good. I'm like, oh, I have a new freedom, and it's wonderful. But a lot of these Waze I had to practice for self care and self love. So these are different things. And what I would love to end this with is I would love for everybody to think of one thing Out of 11 or if they have a different, that they could write down. And writing down is really important when you're gonna try to make a change.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:27:36]:

It allows you to be more accountable. And if you're more accountable, if you have a place you journal, put it in a calendar, writing it down and setting a date or a time That you're gonna start something. Am I gonna do this once a week? Is this a daily thing? Look at 1 area. We live in a world where we multitask so much In self love and self care, you really need to focus on 1 area at a time. It's proven through psychologists To create a positive habit, moderate habit, something positive change. I'm not talking complex, but to do that, it takes 21 days. And to do something, to set a goal, set your goal 21 days. I'm not saying a whole year, but try to do something for 21 days to make a little change.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:28:24]:

The more you can do it and then once that feels good and it becomes second nature, then look at the list of 11 and think of What else can I work on? Bit by bit, the more you work on positive mindset in these different areas Of self love, self care, self appreciation. The more you do, it just becomes part of life, and you aren't thinking about it anymore. Yeah. And if I could give anything to anybody listening today, that's what I'd hope that they can walk away with. And I guess one thing to mention, I am working on and probably won't be in March of doing some ebooks on this. That will be all discussions, but it's also gonna be areas to generalize, to self reflect, Activities, Sunday self care checklist. There'll be 21 days checklist. Positive affirmation, could have areas of We all, at times, when we're feeling down, have negative things we say to ourselves.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:29:19]:

It's what we do. And there'll be ideas and ways of how Do we take that negative talk and change it positive? Because that's huge. Is there anything new that you've learned today Or that you could take from this.

Sandy Kovach  [00:29:32]:

Of the 11, I think I'm gonna take gratitude only because I'm so convicted about that that I know so well How much that affects your attitude is remembering to be grateful. And I don't write it down. I think, I'm a grateful person, But I never write it down, and I always know that I should. So, Kerry, I'm a take you up on that 21 day challenge of writing down what I'm grateful for every day.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:29:56]:

Definitely shoot me an email at the end of the 21 days and tell me how you feel. I'm glad to hear that.

Sandy Kovach  [00:30:01]:

Linnea, have you picked 1 of the 11?

Lanée Blaise [00:30:03]:

You know how sometimes you choose something that you don't Want to choose it, but you know it's good for you, and that's the self audit. That's the one where I know that it's gonna bring forth Some areas that I'll really have to take a deep look into, and that's not always the most exciting thing to do. It's not like getting a massage. But it is important, and it is good for us. So mine is the personal self audit. That's my takeaway that I want to work on that I need to work on for the 21 day.

Sandy Kovach  [00:30:33]:

We will link up to all of this too. And imagine yourself podcast.com and give you Kerry's resources. Kerry, what is your website?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:30:41]:

KerryRasenberger.com.

Sandy Kovach  [00:30:51]:

Alright. And we will put that on our website as well, imagine yourself podcast.com. And you'll be able to then find Carrie is amazing on social media. If you're Instagram, highly recommend. I think you have a Facebook page too that you specifically, have for women in midlife.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:31:08]:

Yes. I started a Facebook group, which is wonderful, and it is midlife women supporting midlife women, And it's already been great. People are talking from anywhere, going through their boys are becoming teenagers. They're feeling Like, they are nowhere in their lives right now to struggling with aging parents, how are they dealing with it through COVID. They can't talk to them. Some suggestions of what to do. It's anything in midlife that we encounter from empty nesting syndrome, which is a real syndrome. And it's just a place where, you know, if you need to vent, you vent.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:31:45]:

It's a place for good laugh. It's a place for motivation And some positive affirmation.

Sandy Kovach  [00:31:50]:

Okay. So that's your Facebook group. And how do we find you on Instagram?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:31:54]:

On Instagram, if you're looking for some Sunday self care checklist. You can go to cari life coach. That's my Instagram account. And for Facebook, it's just under cari life coach also.

Sandy Kovach  [00:32:06]:

Very cool. This has been very enlightening. I think we're gonna go out and appreciate ourselves more.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:32:12]:

I just really appreciate Spending this time and discussing this with you. Thank you so much.

Sandy Kovach  [00:32:17]:

And, also, our listeners can get that free 1 hour session when they go to just to your website they can find?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:32:23]:

Yeah. They go to my website. And on the website, they'll have contact information and just send me An email, and I'll set up a time for you, and let's get working. Alright.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:32:32]:

Let's make everything better.

Lanée Blaise [00:32:33]:

Thank you so much for being with us. Again, we just wanted to to dedicate this episode to love overall, but especially to self love. We hope that everyone has gotten a chance to really think about it from a different perspective. So, overall, we just want to say imagine yourself giving yourself the love that you need.

Sandy Kovach  [00:32:54]:

Thanks for listening. Hope you'll subscribe to Imagine Yourself podcast on your favorite platform, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, wherever you listen. And you can get the links to all of that as well as our social media and a way to message us at imagine yourself podcast.com.