Sandy Kovach [00:00:02]:
Ever found yourself trapped in a storm wondering if it's all worth it? If the trials we endure can lead to something greater. Today, we're diving into a question that resonates with each of us at some point of our lives or another. Is your test worth your testimony?
Lanée Blaise [00:00:21]:
Thank you so much for joining us today on Imagine Yourself yourself podcast. I am Lanee here with Sandy and every once in a while, you land upon a listener who has taken one of the Imagine Yourself podcast episodes to heart in such a beautiful way that they end up reaching out to us and becoming a guest on Imagine Yourself podcast. And we were blessed enough to have that experience with Francine Brown. Our most recent episode with her is called From Heartache to Healing. And we wanted to just have Sandy and I together kind of reflect on what has happened since that episode aired because so many people really responded well. It really resonated with them because a lot of us know what heartache is all about, and we are trying to get to healing. So, you know, may as well, give the people what they want. So we hope that you also will feel inspired by this episode.
Lanée Blaise [00:01:30]:
And of course, we hope you go back and listen to the previous one. We hope that you reach out to us on imagineyourselfpodcast.com, And maybe we'll have the same experience with you where you will end up sharing your testimony and your story with the rest of us. But we wanted to start by giving the the receipts or the proof by going ahead and sharing some of the responses that we got from that last episode. So, Sandy, I'll have you take it away.
Sandy Kovach [00:02:00]:
Yeah. We got some notes, and Francine got some notes. And, this one is from Louise in Springfield, Tennessee. And she said, I could feel her positivity and underlying faith, both as she hung on through her incredibly challenging journey and how she inspires others. Since the podcast, I've thought about her words many times, and I feel like I carry a piece of that energy, resilience and faith with me always.
Lanée Blaise [00:02:28]:
That's beautiful. This is just what we love to hear because it makes it feel like Sandy and I are fulfilling our purpose and and that the guests that come on are also fulfilling their purpose and sharing things that will strengthen others. Here's another one from Lacey in St. George, Utah. She said she absolutely needed to listen to this interview. It's so uplifting to hear resilience from someone as amazing as Francine. She gives perspective that made my tears fall over my breakfast. What a woman.
Lanée Blaise [00:03:06]:
What an example of grit, good attitude, and God's grace being sufficient. Tears in
Sandy Kovach [00:03:11]:
the oatmeal, man. I don't know.
Lanée Blaise [00:03:13]:
I mean, I've been there. I think we've all been there before. In the shower, in the breakfast. It's when times are hard, in the coffee.
Sandy Kovach [00:03:21]:
And, of course, you know, crying in your beer. Well,
Lanée Blaise [00:03:24]:
yes. That's when that's the really hard yes. Yes. Been there too.
Sandy Kovach [00:03:29]:
Sounds like a country song. But, oh, do you wanna read the one from Leah here?
Lanée Blaise [00:03:33]:
Leah is from Springfield City, New York. And she also felt that the podcast with Francine truly inspired her. She said it gave me hope that there is somewhat of a road map to follow so I can start and continue my journey. And like her, I feel God will lead us on the road we were meant to be on. She inspired me to push forward even when I felt hopeless at that moment. Thank you for that. Yeah. These are Pushing forward.
Lanée Blaise [00:04:04]:
These are Yeah. And it's like, Sandy, I know that, you and I were talking a little before we came on here about how sometimes people want to hear the real real,
Sandy Kovach [00:04:12]:
you know?
Lanée Blaise [00:04:13]:
Yeah. And we definitely understand that. But I think we just can't help ourselves. We always try to spend some kind of hope in it as well.
Sandy Kovach [00:04:23]:
The name of Francine's episode was Heartache to Healing. And so yeah. And even she said we can't camp out on the heartache. But we do need to bring it up. And sometimes I feel like we spin too positive. We draw a difference between the bad things in life and the good things in life and act like they can't mutually exist, like there has to be some tension between them. And I read a lot and I listen to, I don't know if you've ever heard of Kate Bowler. She has a podcast called Everything Happens.
Sandy Kovach [00:04:54]:
And she's a cancer survivor and she is also a professor, a theology professor. And so, you know, she kind of comes at it with a spiritual angle as well. But she wrote this, We live in a culture that celebrates positivity, good vibes only. And you know, sometimes how when we're not being real can sort of cover things up as opposed to sharing things. They don't have to be as huge as Francine's. Like if we're struggling with something in our marriage that's not private or we're struggling with, you know, something in our family or our job or whatever, bring it to someone who can help. I mean, if it's appropriate. I'm not saying blast all your stuff on social media.
Lanée Blaise [00:05:37]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Sandy Kovach [00:05:38]:
But, sometimes just being honest, I guess, is what I'm saying, can help. And things can also be beautiful and terrible at the same time. They don't just have to exist, 1 or the other.
Lanée Blaise [00:05:52]:
Yeah. Agreed. It's again, we don't want to come off as people who are just like, be happy. You know? Everybody remembers song from way back, Don't worry, be happy. Yep. I mean, that would be great. And I know there's my kids were talking about some book they had back in high school where there was stuff put in the water. I think it was called like a Brave New World.
Lanée Blaise [00:06:13]:
They put stuff in the water. People didn't know it to just make people happy all the dang on time. Yeah. Yeah. Just forget all your problems. And that's not what we're going for. And when you said that part about being both beautiful and terrible at the same time, that is empowering, in my opinion. That is real, and that is doable.
Lanée Blaise [00:06:33]:
And so I just feel like everything that we've done in these past 5 plus years on a Master Yourself podcast is all for the goal of making lives better, but not at the expense of trying to, like you said, cover or disregard or, you know, put on blinders to to when things are really tough. And, there's part where you do have hindsight. You do have time to heal. I feel like I have a heartache to healing. Back in 2021, my stepmom passed away from cancer. Mhmm. And all my sisters and brothers is my stepmom, but, of course, some of these children are they're her biological children or whatever, but she never cared about any of that. She didn't care about if I was her stepchild or adopted or straight out of her belly or anything.
Lanée Blaise [00:07:26]:
She she loved us all so beautifully, and it has been 3 years now, and I'm finally able to see the healing from the heartache of losing her because everything was so sudden. She was completely not even sick. We weren't even thinking about cancer. In fact, we'd had this big, huge, wonderful celebration altogether. We called it the siblings weekend reunion. And we had my stepmom and my dad and all my siblings and all the little nieces and nephews grandchildren there. And it was just amazing. And my stepmother had called after it's over.
Lanée Blaise [00:08:09]:
She's like, that was the best weekend ever. Mhmm. And then within 24 hours, honest to god, within 24 hours, she told my dad she had to go to the hospital. Something was wrong. And they told her that she had cancer and that it looked really bad. And then the next 3 months, she deteriorated so quickly and so terribly and then passed away.
Sandy Kovach [00:08:33]:
Man. You were here there with her, like, through that whole process.
Lanée Blaise [00:08:37]:
I was there so often that people at my husband's job, a few wondered if I had run back home to my hometown and, like, I was never coming back because I was gone so much. Because I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. And they're like, wow. His wife sure goes back to her hometown a lot. I I think something's going on there. She don't wanna come back. But they didn't realize that it was it had moved to 24 hour round the clock care for my stepmom. And thank God I have so many siblings because we could all, you know, take turns.
Lanée Blaise [00:09:12]:
But some of my siblings had little kids. Some of them lived far away. And so a lot of it just really had to be shared strongly. And so, Sandy, what I'm kinda getting at through all of this is the healing part is to, first of all, it was terrible. It was hard. I had to ask God every day for just enough strength to make it through, for just enough portion to be able to handle all the things. Because, you know, when your body is deteriorating that quickly, there's things that go wrong mentally, would become incapacitated, or she would become almost like a dementia patient where she would not realize the difference between reality and what was in her mind. It was just all those different things.
Lanée Blaise [00:10:02]:
So now I go back, and I just say, thank you, God, that we had the best weekend ever. Like, what if we'd waited 1 week later? I tell my husband that all the time because he had pushed. He was like, we've gotta have it this weekend or else it's just gonna be, you know, too late. And he didn't know. But thank God he pushed for that weekend to be the weekend because even if it had just been a week later, it would have been a whole different vibe to it. We got to live big laugh, happy times with no thought of cancer. Didn't even know it. And then the other part I'm thankful for is the way that my siblings all worked together.
Lanée Blaise [00:10:40]:
We worked in tandem. We had someone to share our problems with. We had someone to grieve with. We had someone to complain and vent to. And that's part of it too, Sandy. Actually, we met Francine Brown, our podcast guest, because she reached out to us on Imagine Yourself podcast, you know, through the website, and she emailed us and she shared her testimony. She shared her story with us, and then she, you know, we we had her on as a guest. But it is so much better when you have someone to talk to.
Lanée Blaise [00:11:15]:
And I know there's this quote by Robert Frost. And I always knew the first part of the quote, but I didn't realize the second part until today when I was looking it up for here. But the only way out is through. And many times in life, even in birth, the the only way you're gonna get out is through. Yeah. The birth canal. The only way out is through. But then the second part of the quote is, and the only way through is together.
Sandy Kovach [00:11:45]:
Oh, I never heard that part either.
Lanée Blaise [00:11:47]:
It didn't either. I Googled this right before we jumped on this podcast, Sandy.
Sandy Kovach [00:11:52]:
I heard the first, like, yeah, you gotta go through if you're that thing that says if you're going through hell, keep going. And Yes. That's another quote.
Lanée Blaise [00:12:00]:
You gotta get thought it
Sandy Kovach [00:12:00]:
was like that. Right.
Lanée Blaise [00:12:02]:
You gotta get through the tunnel. You gotta get through the birth canal. You gotta get through the trials, the tribulations. And on the other side, you're you're through it. But the only way through is together. And that part, I didn't know about. But I recognize the importance of that. Again, whether we're trying to be positive positive or or even being negative negative, it's still better when you have a good person by your side or on the phone or through email to help you get through it.
Sandy Kovach [00:12:33]:
Yeah, absolutely. But as far as, you know, so going through things together, I mean, that is that's definitely one thing. I remember Francine was saying and she did email us after her mom had died and she actually had a rift in her family, she was saying. In your case, your siblings work together as a team. And in her case, it seemed to have caused some issues. That's what she was saying. She has other friends, of course, that she was able to share this with. And now she's got a whole ton of people.
Sandy Kovach [00:13:07]:
A whole community, The whole Francine community, which is amazing. So like I think one of the people that had written her said something about how, you know, she thinks about Francine as it helped and it helps her get through her day. And I think about Francine. I think about even when I'm going through little small challenges, I think about her on that mountain when she was snowed in and she was by herself and she was on the tractor and she thought the tractor was gonna tip over. And she said, God, if you're gonna take me, take me now. If not, get me through this. And you know how God got her through this. And so sometimes, you know, I'm thinking, how bad is it? Am I Francine on the tractor right now? And and and I just know that hearing that story and hearing other stories and even stories she told about, like the guy, He was not only a paraplegic, I believe, for a while, but he could only communicate with his eyes.
Sandy Kovach [00:14:00]:
And he ended up walking out of the hospital. Relate to a story you have more details on. But yeah, I think that's the relate to a story you have more details on. But, yeah, I feel like please, I'm not asking for a big trial to come up because, you know, we've all had our share, but they will. Lives are up and downs. It's beautiful and terrible, all the things. But I feel like I'm better equipped. And I would say that anybody who hasn't listened to From Heartache to Healing, which is the episode right before this, and we'll link up to it in the show notes and whatnot as well, would really benefit from it.
Sandy Kovach [00:14:37]:
It's a bit of a longer episode, you know, so take it in 2 commutes if you have a 20 minute commute or whatever. So worth it. In fact, I've listened to it a couple of times and I was there when we recorded. It. Right. Right. And I'm still getting something from it. Yeah.
Lanée Blaise [00:14:51]:
Just that powerful. Not just powerful, but, like, informative. Like the one person said Leah from New York. She said it it gave her, like, a roadmap to follow for the most part when things go wrong or things go bad or things are hard and challenging and sad. As humans, we tend to always look for some kind of formula, like a formula for, you know, how to get money, get rich quick.
Sandy Kovach [00:15:19]:
Let's all get rich quick and lose 100 pounds. Well, not 100.. Right? Yes.
Lanée Blaise [00:15:23]:
How to yep. How to get that weight in gear, how to, listen for God just right. And some things I'm gonna admit there's not a full formula for. In fact, maybe none of these things. You know, how to get the best relationship ever. You know? Some of these things you're not gonna have a formula for because everybody's life is gonna be different. Everybody's path and journey is gonna be different. But there are some things to hold on to.
Lanée Blaise [00:15:46]:
And like you said, when you hear someone else's story that is outrageously hard, then it gives you hope for what what you're going through. Again to that just, you know, sharing with somebody who you want the the right mix. You want the right person to talk to. Right? A person who's gonna let you vent and listen and then also drop something hopeful to you but not obnoxiously you know optimistic.
Sandy Kovach [00:16:15]:
Yeah. Exactly.
Lanée Blaise [00:16:17]:
So it's just a a beautiful balance of all these things together. And, I feel like this episode was necessary because like you said, Francine's was a really full packed episode, and she did she kinda she really carried it away for us. And then it's just this one is good for us to just kinda reflect back on what we took away from it and to encourage even more people to continue to listen to that one. And and all the different episodes we have, we had so many amazing guests, that have come on here and talked about either their faith journey or their relationship journey or their career journey. You know, there's there's a lot going on.
Sandy Kovach [00:16:56]:
There is. And sometimes a lot of it gets tied in. And, you know, tied into Francine's was faith was running throughout. All the God winks. I remember that book God winks. I like that term where God kinda just gives you, like, a glimpse of, see, it was me. But she got a lot of God winks through this. And just how God was God's providence was, you know, was sort of always there.
Sandy Kovach [00:17:23]:
Like and even when you were telling me when your husband said, let's have it the party this week.
Lanée Blaise [00:17:29]:
Yes.
Sandy Kovach [00:17:29]:
He didn't know. You didn't know. But God knew.
Lanée Blaise [00:17:32]:
Yes.
Sandy Kovach [00:17:32]:
And, that Francine was all all about that too in many different circumstances, you know, from big to small things. I didn't know this was gonna happen, but God knew. And look what came from that. And all the things that kinda tied in her life to prepare her for this and to pair prepare her for that. This trial prepared her for the following trial. And she could never go through this if she hadn't gone through that. And I think a lot of us, if we look back at our lives, some of the ups and downs, we can kind of find the same thread running through in different ways.
Lanée Blaise [00:18:01]:
And that's the part. Yeah. With the little time that's gone by. Because if anyone listens to the way she's speaking in the episode, I actually hear joy and peace in her voice as she's talking about things. And remember, this was just stuff that happened to her during COVID for the most part, you know, or right around there. So it hasn't been a whole lot of time necessarily. And and things kept coming, you know, with the death of different people in her life and the her own illness and all these different things. But now that she has gone through it and she's on the other side, I actually genuinely hear so much strength in her voice.
Lanée Blaise [00:18:41]:
And that's that part too where I do encourage, like you said, to look back at your life, find the threads, and find a few things to be happy about. Even if you say like, but I do remember this part, definitely sucked. Do not recommend. You know, but No stars. No stars for that. But the other parts that you get to because to your point also for my siblings and myself, I believe we're so close to one another. We will always know that we have each other's backs. And like you said, it doesn't always go like that.
Lanée Blaise [00:19:11]:
And I definitely know there's lots of families where after the matriarch passes away, sometimes things really fall apart. But I also I guess I encourage too, almost like a roadmap, try to to see ways that that you can come together for it and that you can say, well, at least like in this case, I know that my stepmom has got to be smiling because all she ever cared about was was kids and not just her kids, all kids, but the fact that she's like, these folks, these jokers actually pulled together, took care of me. You know, now we're we're on to my dad. He, has a few health things going on for himself, so we're taking, you know, steps to to help him out, too. But these jokers pulled together, kept each other's head above water, kept each other sane, loved each other through it all. They made it. And that has gotta be a great testimony for her, the way that she raised everybody. So
Sandy Kovach [00:20:09]:
That's right.
Lanée Blaise [00:20:10]:
That's there's some some good.
Sandy Kovach [00:20:13]:
Yeah. I mean, there's undoubtable heartache. Undoubtable, that's not a word. There's undeniable heartache, but there is also a good side. Usually, there is some good in most things if you look for it. Not right away. No. And you certainly wouldn't.
Sandy Kovach [00:20:29]:
I wouldn't have said, but, Lanee, you know, like right when it happened, don't you think that 3 years from you know, I just obviously. And we've discussed before how delicately we need to talk to people who have just been through something terrible and not to be even though we wanna be encouraging, just to kind of just be there for them too.
Lanée Blaise [00:20:50]:
Yeah. Crazy enough, we actually did a whole episode on, like, what not to say to people who are grieving recently too if you go back in one of those older episodes too. But all this to say, when it's all said and done, is your test worth your testimony? Are you able to have that type of compassion when you need to reach out to someone else who's struggling or when you need to even hold yourself in your arms when you're struggling?
Sandy Kovach [00:21:19]:
Yeah. Your test and your testimony. So the test being the trials in your life, the testimony, like you said, the story that you can share with others or even how you can use it to comfort yourself. Remember back when I got through x, y, and z? And I think when we look at the episode for Francine and all the people she has reached she's reached, I can't answer for her is her test worth the testimony. Because, you know, even as we said in the episode, we would never choose these things to happen to us. But when we do, we can find good and we can help other people. And I'm willing to bet that Francine would say now that she sees all the people she's affected that, yes, it was worth the testimony she was able to give. And are we able to say that for our tests? And, you know, you can only answer that for yourself.
Sandy Kovach [00:22:08]:
But God definitely uses what we go through our trials as testimonies to others to help get us through. And that's biblical. We are supposed to do that.
Lanée Blaise [00:22:19]:
That's true. And there's also a posture of expecting the unexpected that can be helpful. Like, to be fair, now I do live my life knowing that anything can happen. You can go from kicking your heels up and having a super great time to perhaps, you know, having terminal illness. Or the opposite, you can really be low. You can be in a bad space financially, relationship wise, or all the different things. And God can Lanee times turn things around right on a dime. Not with a formula.
Lanée Blaise [00:22:56]:
Not because you had a positive attitude. Not because you clicked your heels 3 times and counted to 10. And it's none of that, but just because God is the author of our lives and things can turn around too. So I do wanna encourage people who are like, I am just in this sunken place right now, and realize that it won't last forever. And please look forward to getting out of that place. Please look forward to the day where you feel lighter, you feel less of that mess, you know, going on. So again, expecting the unexpected and, in the end we just want to say imagine yourself surrendering it all, being strengthened by these other testimonies that you hear and being willing to
Sandy Kovach [00:24:00]:
Thanks so much for listening. If you have something you'd like to share or a comment you'd like to make, make sure you let us know on social media or through imagine yourself podcast.com. All the links will be in the show notes. Hope you got as much out of this episode as we did. And also, if you haven't listened to Francine's whole story from heartache to healing, it's the episode before this, and I promise you won't be sorry you did. In the meantime, please drop us a review or a rating. If you haven't yet, we'd really appreciate it. It It lets us know what you're thinking, and it helps others find the podcast as well.
Sandy Kovach [00:24:41]:
So glad you're a part of the imagine yourself podcast family. Wishing you God's peace through the tests and trials as well as through the victories and the joy.
