When You Can’t See Your Way Through

When we’re in the middle of a challenging or difficult time, sometimes it seems like the worst part is all the uncertainty. We tell ourselves it would be easier to get through if we just knew how the situation would turn out or even how long we’d be going through it. Why can’t it be like finding out  what happens to our favorite character in the season finale of a Netflix binge?... at least at some point soon we’ll have our answer.  Of course, reality is much different.  We're trying to look through life's murky waters without knowing when (or if) they will clear. It is that struggle we explore in this bonus mini-episode. 

If we are people of faith, we can simply say trusting God is the way through. However, sometimes even as we say, “God is in control; I give it to Him,” inside we’re still just as bound up with anxiety. As we reflect on our last episode, Faith Over Fear: Singer Gabbie McGee on How to Get Your Confidence Back, we recall Gabbie’s trudge through tough challenges as self-doubt tried to take away her dream. 

We’ll use her advice as we work our way through some of our own current uncertainties and hope that sharing them will help you through your own murky waters.

Listen to  Faith Over Fear: Singer Gabbie McGee on How to Get Your Confidence Back HERE

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Transcript

Sandy Kovach  [00:00:04]:

Welcome to Imagine Yourself podcast where we help you imagine your next chapter of life with grace, gratitude, courage, and faith.

Lanée Blaise [00:00:12]:

Who out there has an abundance of confidence just oozing out all over the place? Because we kind of need it right now. We just recently did an episode where we tried to imagine Yourself getting your confidence back, and we had jazz vocalist and songwriter Gabbie McGee, and she was just a breath of fresh air, literally. I mean, her voice, her words, her inspiration, her encouragement are great. And so I find myself trying to implement it right now. And Sandy, I don't know if it hits you the same way, but sometimes when we're in the process of learning, and in this case, learning how to get your confidence back, there's a learning curve. And I don't know if you have been dealing with all the good things that she taught us and told us and shared with us. How are you doing with your confidence level lately?

Sandy Kovach  [00:01:09]:

Doing better after hearing a lot of the story from Gabbie, which was the episode before this with the Faith Over Fear episode. But I do have to say when we hear a story like Gabbie's and hers was one where her career was going great, she had to take a break for mental health and other reasons. And then now she's coming back at an older age and she was talking about the challenge and how she had to overcome self doubt. Now, we heard that story, and it was a story that took place over years. And sometimes when we hear things like that, it's inspirational, but we think, I want that, except I want it in one weekend.

Lanée Blaise [00:01:48]:

Exactly. So timing is part of it. And just I don't know. I feel like I've been having a set of vulnerable moments this week. When you hear a wonderful episode about Faith Over Fear and then you are challenged with some things in your life right afterwards, you have to really try to figure out how to ground yourself. And that's kind of what I wanted to share as my situation. I don't usually do vulnerable moments too much on here, but please, yeah, this time I do, because this week has just been kind of a whirlwind of different things that, you know, that I'm trying to get healthy and fit and stuff like that. So there's some vulnerabilities with how that's working out, which many women face.

Sandy Kovach  [00:02:37]:

That's very challenging.

Lanée Blaise [00:02:38]:

Always I'm doing good things, but I'm not seeing the results immediately. As far as career wise, I had some really hopeful great opportunities that have kind of changed directions real quick on me. So I'm a little saddened and frustrated by that. That's another vulnerable one. And then as a mother, there's always the parts of thinking, am I doing this right? Did I set these things up for my kids just right? So there's just a few different things going on so I really try to bring back the faith over fear aspect. I really try to bring back centering myself in God. I'm really trying to do all the things that you learn about. Should you just have that confidence? I'm trying to just be the person that I want to be. And then it'll just happen with God's help.

Sandy Kovach  [00:03:30]:

I don't know.

Lanée Blaise [00:03:30]:

I just wonder if other people are kind of going through the same thing.

Sandy Kovach  [00:03:33]:

I think that it's a pretty common challenge. And the fact that right after we aired this episode with Faith Over Fear and talked about some very real things that Gabbie went through and how she had to lean on God through all of it, then all of a sudden you're going through some serious stuff. There is no such thing as coincidence. Right. God was kind of preparing your heart, maybe for all of this. And we don't know how it's all going to come out in the other end. Right. It's a temporary setback. By this time next week, things could change. Or maybe it takes longer. I mean, we'd all love it to change overnight, but I kind of feel like there's a reason that you're going through this. Do you feel that?

Lanée Blaise [00:04:19]:

I do. And it made me think, this is going to sound really corny, but I was going on a walk, remember, trying to be healthy. And I was looking at this little stream and watching the water flow. And there was a nice little segment where the water flowed beautifully. This is actually from it's a stream, and it's a natural one. But then there were these rocks in the middle just all jammed up, and the water had to kind of figure out how to pass over that weird murky section. But then on the other side, where I could see it was going to be smooth sailing and clear flowing, great water on the other side. And I just wonder if sometimes we're in that rocky, crooked, uncomfortable, frustrating, slow, jammed up section.

Sandy Kovach  [00:05:08]:

Yeah, the murky section.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:11]:

Yes. And God can see you just got a little bit longer to get through there. And then you're going to go over to the nice, smooth, free flowing side. That's where the faith has to come in.

Sandy Kovach  [00:05:22]:

So when you saw that, is that what kind of God laid on your heart?

Lanée Blaise [00:05:25]:

Absolutely. I took a picture of it. I took a video of it. Maybe we'll post it on Instagram.

Sandy Kovach  [00:05:32]:

Maybe that'll be a good reel.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:33]:

Yeah. There you yeah, because it really made me think about the fact that we can't see the whole thing. And I know one of the quotes that Gabby said during the episode was, we want to have God as our manager, and we want God to balance the blessings. And when you think of blessings, you just want them to come, come. But there's a balance to it. There's a perfect timing for it all. She mentioned taking time out. I really have been thinking about that aspect of figuring out what time of day or what place is your particular carved out time to be with God. Because that's when God will communicate with you, direct you, give you that intuitive, divine thinking. And I just encourage people to really do that. Mine are sometimes on my walks. I really love listening to God while I walk, without music, without a podcast playing anything. But I don't know. What about you, Sandy?

Sandy Kovach  [00:06:33]:

So what is that called? Mindful walking?

Lanée Blaise [00:06:38]:

Yes.

Sandy Kovach  [00:06:38]:

We had another guest talk about that.

Lanée Blaise [00:06:42]:

Lawson talked about mindfulness and walking and feeling the wind and smelling the flowers and feeling the breeze and looking at the sunshine. But I want to add to what she said and listening for God's nudges, too.

Sandy Kovach  [00:06:57]:

Yeah. And I remember Gabbie said that she had quiet time in her car. She has little kids, and it was when she was on her way to pick them up and nobody else in the car, and that's when she got her direction. And I don't really have a specific time sometimes when I'm sitting downstairs, like I said, go downstairs early morning and we have a kitten and I'm just sitting with Belle for a while sometimes, because if I pick my phone up, she'll smack it. She just likes to play with everything, right? So I can't pick my phone up. So I just have to sit there with her. And that's a perfect time for me as well. But it's funny you said that this week. You've been going through women stuff. I've had some roadblocks, too, in my career and some of the things that I've been doing, and it's a murky time for me, too. I can see kind of but that's what murky is, right? You're not completely blocked, but it's very cloudy. Yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:53]:

It's not completely clear either, and you don't know how long the murky part will last.

Sandy Kovach  [00:07:59]:

And I've been doing what I do for a long time with voiceovers and radio and different things and the podcast and being in a creative field. And you're in a creative field, too, with screenwriting and podcasting and motivational speaking. It's not like we have nine to five jobs. And there's times that there are tons of things happening, and there are other times when opportunities by, no, we had no idea that they were going. They leave or they become in question. And there are other times when other opportunities come and we didn't see it coming, and we never know. And that's kind of the ride you take when you're a freelance person. But I don't know. I wouldn't do anything else. Would you?

Lanée Blaise [00:08:39]:

I wouldn't do anything else. But I have got to figure out how to get through the murky days better than I have been, because in this industry, also in creative fields, you tend to take things personal, and I want to make sure that I try not to do that. And again, that I try to a lot of people say you got to make sure what is your why? I'm really trying to make sure that anything that I write, anything I do creatively, it's for the betterment of this world. I don't want to write anything ratchet. I don't want to go do a ratchet motivation.

Sandy Kovach  [00:09:16]:

No, here's how to be a ratchet. ratchet 101

Lanée Blaise [00:09:25]:

Ratchet life. All this is just making me think I've got to just figure this out. I'm glad to laugh. Laughing is therapeutic, too. You've got me laugh about this whole thing. So maybe I just need to not take myself so seriously, not take the Murky days as like, the end all, be all, and just kind of chill for a bit. Maybe I've answered my own problem. Maybe we're helping people as we're talking this through, too, who are listening, who are kind of feeling the same way.

Sandy Kovach  [00:09:53]:

Yeah, I think murky is a great way to explain it. And when you're murky and you don't know the outcome and only God knows the outcome, god can see the water on the other side. That is when you really dig into your faith and your closeness to God. And I think that's really the only thing you can do. I mean, obviously you do proactive things too. I don't think you sit back and just wait. Whether it's me doing lots of auditions for Voiceovers or it's you putting in more writing time, getting more opportunities, whatever. Our thing is, as we do that, we spend our time with God in the balance of the faith and the activity. Eventually the murkies are going to go and we're going to look back and we're going to say, hey, that was kind of an interesting time, right?

Lanée Blaise [00:10:41]:

It helps for the next interesting time that pops up because, oh, now I'm really okay, now I'm on a roll. Now I'm really getting excited about getting that confidence back because I thought about one more thing.

Sandy Kovach  [00:10:50]:

Yes, please.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:51]:

Told in the last episode, god explained to Gabbie the way that her career was going to unfold was not the way she thought it would. And I must emphasize that is priceless, because many times God does things in these unexpected, nonlinear, doesn't even feel all that logical route. It's not usually a straightforward route to get exactly what you want to get to or the way you thought. God's creativity is so much better than ours, and I really want to try to even meditate on that concept of god is going to do great things in our lives, but it won't look the way we think it'll look. It won't be the way we thought it would be, but we can still trust Him.

Sandy Kovach  [00:11:46]:

Absolutely. You need confidence and you need God. And when you get that self doubt and you start to take things personally, you do need to take a step back because it isn't personal. I mean, it feels personal as heck.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:00]:

Feels personal and also feels sometimes we feel vulnerable with age. Also, and I just want to say, I am currently working with a lady who's a screenwriter. I've been working with her all this time and I've never thought about her age. I just thought about the creative works that she puts out. She's also writing a book right now, and she shared with me just yesterday, she said, Lanee, I am 75 years old, so I don't really have a whole lot of time for a whole lot of back and forth and negotiation, stuff like that. So I'm just pushing my screenwriting stuff out now and my book out now and it hit me anytime I think maybe I'm too old to hit it big or gabby McGee was wondering if she's too old with her singing career, it is never too late. That gave me such hope.

Sandy Kovach  [00:12:56]:

That is awesome.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:58]:

Yeah, her work speaks for itself. And then the age, it's like AJ. Nothing but a number situation comes second.

Sandy Kovach  [00:13:05]:

That's right.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:07]:

All that good, juicy stuff to remember. I just encourage everyone out there to hold on to these types of pieces of hope, to keep us floating as we go through the murky times and the rocky parts. So imagine yourself with faith, with confidence, with trust, with inner strength, great self esteem, self love, all the good things. And just know that we are rooting for you and we hope you're rooting for us, too. Thanks so much for listening.

Sandy Kovach  [00:13:37]:

So glad you could join Lanee and I on Imagine Yourself this week for this short bonus episode. If you haven't listened to the one we were talking about, where Gabbie McGee talks about getting her confidence back, Faith Over Fear. Highly recommend that one. We'll link it up in the show notes and at Imagine Yourselfpodcast.com. We'll also give you links to our social media. Hope you'll visit us there and connect with us. Love to hear about your stories and struggles, too. Until next time when we have something new to imagine. In praying that God helps you to see your way through.