What To Do When You’re Hurting

The answer to “what to do when you’re hurting” is not a simple one, and it can be very different for people. However, there are guideposts that can help in many cases. In our episode “God Will Get You Through”, writer and speaker Angela Scott told us about the emotional road she traveled and ways she dealt with devastation in her life. In this bonus episode, we reflect on what we learned and open up about what got us through some very rough circumstances in our own lives. These few minutes are meant to help you with healing and to reflect on how you may be able help in the healing of others. We hope it will boost your faith and bring you comfort. 

Listen to “God Will Get You Through” with Writer and Speaker Angela Scott
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Transcript

Sandy Kovach  [00:00:02]:

Welcome to Imagine Yourself podcast, where we help you imagine your next chapter of life with grace, gratitude, courage and faith

Lanée Blaise [00:00:09]:

I'm Lanee here with Sandy, and we are kind of reflecting Today on what we learned from a magnificent guest that we had just recently, Angela Scott. And she really started to teach us a lot about how we can go to God and trust God and get from God in ways that we just hadn't really thought of, especially when we are struggling. And lots of us I've been struggling emotionally, physically, things in our family, things in our world. Sometimes it feels like Everything is just fraying and falling apart, and we have to remember that's not necessarily the case. These terrible things are temporary. It may seem like everything's coming apart at the seams, but god is in control.

Sandy Kovach  [00:01:06]:

It reminds me kind of of this quote, when everything seems like it's falling apart, sometimes it's actually falling into place. And right now, that could seem very far fetched whether you're thinking about things going on in the world or you're thinking about things in your personal life, and that is when you have to come back to God is in control. And that's kinda one of the big points that Angela was making. And I wanna stop for a second and say, you don't have to Have listened to Angela's episode. In fact, maybe after this, you'll wanna go back and dig a little deeper. But hopefully, You know, this will help you either way. So if you haven't had a chance to listen, Angela was going through the desolation of her marriage. And now for me, That really struck a chord personally because it reminded me of many years ago when I went through a divorce. That was quite painful for me also. It set me on a path though to relying more on God. And it also gave me an opportunity to reach out and minister to other people, maybe not about specifically divorce, although it has done that too, but just about the absolute heartbreak that you feel when something like that happens. I have experienced very few things that were more devastating even though I'm well past that now. But at the time, I had a small child. I had a job very much in the public eye, and I had to keep a smile on my face and a positive attitude, could not bring that stuff to work. I mean, of course, I did have friends and family to rely on, but I really learned to lean into god. And I really learned to lean into the pain sometimes. If I think about it, the hurt can still feel fresh, believe it or not. But I think God gives us those feelings and lets us recall those feelings so that we remember them and have empathy when we're helping other people.

Lanée Blaise [00:03:08]:

And that's the part that a lot of people might need to hear today as far as when it comes to religion, When it comes to reflecting upon god and his love for us, sometimes people feel like whatever it is They're going through is either too big or too small for god to handle. Some people feel like what they have done, whether they have You know, are showing some sort of fault or whatever in the situation that they feel like what they've done is too bad or too terrible For god to wrap his arms around them ever again. Sometimes there's a stigma associated with whatever it is we're going through. Sometimes there's the questioning of God that happens. All of these things are not new to God. No. You you know, as far as Questioning god, why me, why this, that is a very human response, and it's Biblically in there, especially when, you know, dealing with Job and even some of the prophets who were just wondering why these things are happening, And it just runs the whole scale. And that's the part too, Sandy, like you're saying as far as the empathy that you begin to have for other people. It's really important that we kinda do a rally cry for others to go to god knowing that you will receive a sense of forgiveness, Understanding, compassion, and help as opposed to receiving judgment or nothingness. You know? It's just it's important.

Sandy Kovach  [00:04:43]:

Yeah. So God is there definitely to listen and to guide us through it. And Sometimes he does use it for other people, and it I always had trouble with that 1 scripture in the Bible that's in James that Told us to be happy about our trials. I can't remember the purposely trying not to memorize that one.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:02]:

Yeah. And as far as when you're dealing with trials And that's the part that Angela said though in the episode too. She said it's not just that you're gonna read a scripture and just be snippity snap better Feeling great and, you know, whistling in the sunshine and telling everybody how you can help them now. It takes time, And it does take a compassionate heart, even compassionate with yourself not to beat yourself up if you're not All the way there and sunny yet, and that you're not celebrating the trials.

Sandy Kovach  [00:05:36]:

No. Usually, it's when you look back on them that you can kinda celebrate them because of what they taught you when you went through them. And I should point out too that it's been years since I had a divorce, and I have since remarried. But at the time, it was extremely painful. And I did have to call out to god, and many times I didn't understand why he didn't immediately just come and rescue me, but I learned a lot through it. I had a cousin who was very instrumental, who had been through a divorce as well, getting me through it.

Lanée Blaise [00:06:11]:

The other part too that you kinda touching on and that we learned that god is the comforter of all of us and how we can then be comforters for other people, And, of course, look to god's other children to be comforters for us too. We had an episode earlier where we discussed grieving And the ways that people can help us or not be as helpful, you know, when we are dealing with a situation where someone is either Very ill or has passed away, and some of the things that we say to be mindful of. And that's another one too as far as looking to god, And you are allowed to ask why this had to happen to a person, you know, that was my loved one. I struggled with some of that too just recently when I had a Close family member passed away. But, again, it was that day by day, leaning on god, looking to god, going to god and seeking out other people who truly did understand and who could kinda Let me have a little pity party if I needed to, but then pull me up also and out of it.

Sandy Kovach  [00:07:22]:

Yeah. I mean, that's so important. It's the balance. And it is a day by day thing, and I think Angela pointed out minute by minute sometimes. Sometimes, how am I gonna get through the next minute? And she talked about people who, in the extreme, who were even contemplating suicide when they were going through something and how It's so important for us to be on the lookout for people that might need help in that regard and get them into, as she said, maybe the next minute to remind them that god loves them and that it will turn around.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:54]:

Yeah. Because the thing that you never know is What if tomorrow, everything did or most things did change for the better, and you don't want such a final event To prevent any person from getting to that other side because there is another side to it. And again, Sandy, you and I have you know, we've watched the news. Everything on the news has been so hard lately. And Talking about war and talking about the whole gamut as far as health issues, as far as inequalities, as far as Actual weapons in war, it's a lot to focus on the negative. And sometimes, It is very important for us to do a few things that we learned in this other episode with Angela Scott too. Number 1, of course, Looking to god and looking to scripture and joining bible studies and participating with other people who will be on that uplift. But she also mentioned things that don't have to do with religious activities per se. Taking that walk, Looking at pictures of I mean, does anybody have any pictures of any babies recently? You know, nieces or nephews.

Sandy Kovach  [00:09:12]:

or puppies or Kitties or

Lanée Blaise [00:09:14]:

Please. Just something.

Sandy Kovach  [00:09:15]:

Things that things that make you yeah. What's in your phone? Scroll through your phone. Look through old pictures. Look at the Scroll through

Lanée Blaise [00:09:22]:

period. Scroll through your phone and see what you've got going on there. See what you've got on your social media. What are you looking at? You know, your phone, yeah, is telling a lot about you. But what kinds of things are you focusing on? And maybe consider switching, You know, to who you follow, what you look at, who sends you what information. Even if it's your friends and family, Maybe kinda monitor what it is you're gonna let them share with you when you're vulnerable.

Sandy Kovach  [00:09:50]:

Yeah. Definitely watching what and who is influencing you and bringing some of that negative energy that doesn't help your situation can only make it worse. So, yeah, look for the inspirational whether you're talking about friends, family, social media. I mean, you can't block out. Like, if you have a Negative Nancy in your family. You can't necessarily just stop associating, but maybe with a grain of salt.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:15]:

Get your mind right before you answer the phone, or sometimes don't answer her call.

Sandy Kovach  [00:10:20]:

That's right.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:20]:

If you're not ready for it. Yeah. But even also what you're watching on television, on movies. I watch my husband sometimes, and he chooses these extremely stressful, frustrating shows to watch Where the people just everything is going wrong and terrible in their lives. And I said, why do you watch that? He's like, because at least my life is not as stressful as theirs. Oh gosh. So I don't know that that's helping him, but I prefer sitcoms and, you know, things that are gonna give me a little levity in my life.

Sandy Kovach  [00:10:50]:

Yeah. Absolutely. I love an action movie, and sometimes that's even fun. But, some of these really, like, true crime stuff and some of these, like extreme stressful situations. If you're going through something, it's probably I don't know. I don't wanna judge your husband because he does what's good for him. Maybe it does help him.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:09]:

I guess so. It's just something that the rest of us out here can reflect upon if we find that we are getting more stress, buy, and that we're on edge after watching these things. So, overall, I think we just need to Take time to imagine yourself being with god, knowing that you are under his wings, Knowing that some of these bad things can turn around, sometimes miraculously, Sometimes it doesn't take as long as you think to get to the good side. There are still plenty of good people in this world. There are still plenty of good things in this world and plenty of good goals in this world. So imagine yourself Taking time to focus on the blessings that God does give us in this life.

Sandy Kovach  [00:12:00]:

Thank you so much for listening. Hope that was encouraging. And if you haven't had a chance to grab a listen to the episode we were referring to. It's called God Will Get You Through with writer and speaker Angela Scott, and it is powerful. It's right before this. You can also find a link to it in the show notes and on our website at imagine yourself podcast .com. While you're there, we hope that you'll drop us a note, connect with us on social media, subscribe or follow the podcast. And until next time, when we have something new to imagine. May God be with you and bless you.